Let’s be honest: writing is a business—unless, of course, it’s just your way to be cathartic and get shit off your chest without launching a nuclear emotional strike on everyone around you. Some people go to therapy; some of us prefer to be passive-aggressive on the page, bitching about life’s stupid little annoyances in a way that doesn’t (immediately) piss off the neighbors.

Look, if you’re reading this, I’m guessing you’re probably not out here penning what I affectionately call “You Shithead Letters.” No, you’re probably hoping to crank out something resembling actual literature, you know, the kind that might one day pay your bills instead of just getting you uninvited from family dinners.

Screaming Into the Void: The Art of the “You Shithead Letter”

Life lesson: never go to bed mad. The only one who suffers is you—unless, of course, you go full rage-monkey and take it out on your loved ones. That’s where my “You Shithead Letters” came in. I’d hammer out my frustrations, let my keyboard take all the abuse, and then—crucially—never hit send. It’s like yelling into the void, only less satisfying and more likely to give you carpal tunnel.

Why not send it, you ask? Because what if—just maybe—you’re wrong? What if you misunderstood, missed some nuance, or were just hangry? The world doesn’t need more public meltdowns over stupid shit. Trust me, we’ve got plenty.

Stupid Shit: The Sequel Nobody Asked For

In my book, Stupid Shit (still a work in progress because stupid shit keeps happening), I talk about how World War I and II basically started because of—you guessed it—stupid shit. Millions dead because someone couldn’t keep their ego in their pants. That’s the power of words and actions, folks.

Fast-forward to the present: we’ve got social media. Your words, your videos—they have power, way more than you realize. Remember that CNN reporter standing in front of a burning city, helpfully telling you that your lying eyes were seeing a “peaceful protest,” not the opening credits of an apocalypse flick? All started by some wannabe journalist with a phone and no context. Stupid shit, weaponized.

Don’t Be That Person

Here’s my PSA: Don’t be the asshat who posts out-of-context videos and inspires some numbskull to act before thinking. Free speech? Love it. Yelling “fire” in a crowded theater? Not so much. Same goes for posting videos of violence with zero context, especially if it riles up some nutjob who just spent $200k at a university learning that communism will totally work this time. Cue New York wannabe mayor touting free everything for those who are too lazy to work.

I’m all for free speech, but maybe—just maybe—it’s time the powers that be, figured out how to hold the guy who starts a riot accountable. And while we’re at it, maybe congress should make it illegal to politicize tragedies like George Floyd’s death for personal gain. From race-baiters to political hacks, people everywhere suffered while the powerful cashed in. That’s not just stupid shit—it’s criminal shit.

The Bystander Effect: Stupidity in Action

Let’s talk modern heroics: you witness someone setting another person on fire in the subway. Do you (a) call 911, (b) attempt a rescue, or (c) whip out your phone and record a running commentary like you’re auditioning for a Darwin Award? If you picked (c), congratulations—you’re officially part of the stupid shit problem. Frankly, I think the guy filming is just as guilty as the arsonist. Thoughts?

Letter Writing: Anger in Draft Mode

Most of my “You Shithead Letters” mellowed out after a day or a week—eventually sent, but with fewer expletives and more coherence. There’s already enough anger, angst, and general stupid shit polluting our collective social narrative.

Desperate for attention? Get a dog. They’ll listen to your rants without judgment, and they’re less likely to start a Twitter feud.

Stay Tuned

Stay tuned for more news about my latest book, Stupid Shit: A Guide for Surviving a World Gone Mad. Because if you can’t laugh at all this nonsense, you’ll probably just cry—or worse, start writing “You Shithead Letters” of your own.

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-Best