Category: writing

When ‘Too Much’ Was Just Enough

When ‘Too Much’ Was Just Enough

Imagine this: Just a few weeks back, I poured my heart into a story for a contest, a challenge sparked by a single, piercing prompt:

“Center your story around someone who’s tired of always being second best (or second choice).”

Now, pause for a moment.

Have you ever felt the sting of being overlooked? The frustration of putting in all the effort, only to watch someone else bask in the spotlight that should have been yours? If you’ve ever been the one doing the heavy lifting, holding everything together while credit slips through your fingers, then this story is for you.

Don’t Block the Light

They say her name, and the room detonates; applause ricochets off glass, off my ribs. I clap too, because that’s the rule when you’re paid to be second.

Priscilla skims to the front, hair catching the lights like a net of gold, heels fluent as a second language. She sells my dragons like she felt their heat first, like her fingerprints are pressed into every scale. The author leans in, hungry. The publicist beams, blinding. “Brilliant,” the client breathes, and my coffee-stained notebook stays shut on my lap, warming my thigh like a secret I don’t dare open.

I hold the smile that keeps meetings smooth and credit slippery. Her perfume hits before her words do, a soft, expensive fog that coats my tongue. I listen for my name, for a glance, a nod, any thin thread. The silence has perfect posture. I swallow the word that claws its way up, “mine.”

I know this choreography: keep the pitch in the air, juggling what no one can see, while someone else steps into the light and takes the bow. My palms sting from clapping. My chest hums with the dragons I birthed and cannot name. And still, I clap.

They’re lauding her pitch when my mind rips backward. Applause smears into a gym’s roar. I’m sixteen, the air tastes like rubber and dust; the lights are cruel; the floor is a mirror for every mistake. Match point. The ball sails long; I dive—knee slams. Pain blooms white. My palm finds leather, just enough to keep it alive. I’m still on the floor when the pretty blonde rises, arm a guillotine, and hammers it home. The crowd explodes… for her.

After, the coach presses the game ball into her hands. “We did it,” she says. I nod and swallow the word we, thick, chalky, like it might scrape me raw all the way down.

The conference room snaps back into focus. Priscilla wears that practiced, cheerleader-bright glow, teeth, lashes, shine, until someone asks how she came up with the idea. A hairline crack of panic splits her face. Her eyes hunt for me; I fix my stare just past her shoulder, gifting her nothing but air.

“Jamie and I were talking about it. Do you want to tell them what we were thinking?”

We, she says. Bullshit. It was me. But I’m paid to be part of the team, not the star; the chorus, not the solo. I clear my throat. The author leans in—the publisher stills. Perfume drifts. My pulse ticks like a metronome for a song only I know. The dragons kick against my ribs.

I glance up, let the silence tighten like a net, and hold it—right before I speak.

I clear my throat. The room stills.

“Dragons are about being chosen, and choosing. Adoption is the key.”

I let that settle, let their chests open for it.

“The idea is to hatch your dragon. A fast, intimate quiz: what scares you, what do you guard, when do you burn. It matches each reader to a dragon from the book. They get a named digital egg and a keeper’s guide.”

I can feel them leaning in.

“For seven days, the egg warms. Short messages in the hero’s voice, in the dragon’s voice—belonging, anger, shame, bravery, love. The art darkens as the shell thins. Day five: a ten-second whisper. And on launch day, the egg cracks in AR. Lift your phone and your dragon unfurls across your room, leaves a scorch trail to buy, plus a dragon-type-only chapter.”

A pause. A pulse. I keep going.

“IRL: indie shops give foil ‘scale’ stickers. Show your hatch, get a scale. Collect three; a heat-ink code appears and unlocks a city map of secret roosts, murals, chalk sigils, and window clings, leading to prizes and a midnight Hatch Night projection where a dragon climbs the bookstore. Every hatch funds a school library.”

I let a smile find the edge of my mouth.

“Creators hatch early on BookTok and name theirs on camera. Tagline: Claim your fire.”

If they need the jargon, I hand it to them, palm up.

“If you prefer, call it omnichannel. I call it the click in your chest when the egg breaks and the feeling of being chosen washes over you. I understand that emotion.”

I meet the author’s eyes. Then the publisher’s.

“We should present it to them. We create the app. Users subscribe. If they gather enough virtual eggs, they’re rewarded with a discount code for your book. Meanwhile, participating bookstores are suddenly bustling. More feet, more hands, more heat. Tell me, what store refuses to stock the book everyone is crossing town to hatch?”

Priscilla’s smile held; her eyes cut like I’d let something loose. Heat from the lights on my face; a colder heat from her stare.

“I sketched the initial concept,” I say—five thin words. I open the old sketchbook—coffee rings, pencil ghosts—and Blair, the author, glances at me and smiles.

The publisher looks to Blair. A smile spreads, catches, multiplies. Nods land. The room clicks into yes. The deal is done. Blair and I make eye contact, a silent chord that says more than it should.

Priscilla’s glare blades across the table. Someone corrals us for a photo, shoulders touching, flash primed. The feeling of being caught doing something wrong rises from the pit of me. Did I say too much? Should I have handed it back, gift-wrapped, with her name on the tag?

The practiced smile slides on; my cheeks burn under it. The taste of pennies blooms—regret already shaping the word sorry.

I feel the apology rise, muscle memory. Give it back. Say we. Say Priscilla. Make yourself smaller; fit better. My tongue touches the word, and I swallow it hard.

I see the notebook: coffee rings, midnight sketches, the spine of the idea forming under my hands. Mine.

Her eyes say too much. My palms press together to stop the shake. Maybe this is it—finally enough to hear my name, even if only inside my own head. I hold it there, a small, stubborn ember no flashbulb can burn out.

I trailed the client into the hallway, applause still echoing like it belonged to someone else’s life. Priscilla slid past close enough for her perfume to touch my tongue, then her shoulder clipped mine—sharp, deliberate. My cup jerked. Coffee jumped. Heat slapped my white blouse and bled fast, a brown bloom across my chest.

“Sorry” rose out of habit, like I should apologize for straying into her orbit. I bit it back. She didn’t look over her shoulder. The click of her heels said everything: I’d talked too much. I’d forgotten to stay small. I wasn’t the pretty one.

Dan saw. He stopped mid-step, eyes dropping to the stain, then back to my face. The world tilted. Someone had witnessed the part where she shines, and I clean up. Heat crawled up my neck: coffee, humiliation, and something fierce that’s tired of swallowing itself.

I pressed my thumb into the cup, breathing through the bitterness. Dan’s gaze held—steady, alert. Not pity. Something worked behind his eyes, a shape he hadn’t spoken yet. He knew it wasn’t an accident. His mouth was tight, like he was holding a word between his teeth, something that could turn this into more than a stain, if I let it.

“Why don’t you take the rest of the week off?”

I didn’t know what to think, so I nodded, automatic, obedient. Maybe he knew a brown stain doesn’t just disappear. Perhaps he was offering me comp time before the cut, a soft edge to a harsh reality. Comp time before firing me. The thought flicked its switchblade open.

Her gaze lingered long enough to watch the coffee seep, the dark spreading fast across my white blouse. She grinned, a small, satisfied crescent that said I had it coming. Maybe I did. That’s a lie, I know by heart.

Dan didn’t want the odd one out. That’s what I heard in my head. The stain made me louder than I’m allowed to be. Priscilla made sure no clients were close enough to overhear; she scanned the corridor like a director protecting a brand. She was a vibrant splash of color stepping out of an advertisement, all gloss and glow, and I was the matte background that sucked in light.

Under the fluorescents, I could feel every imperfect edge of myself: the flyaway hair I’d smoothed twice, the scuffed heel on my sensible shoes, the blouse I bought on sale now wearing its stain like a name tag. I wasn’t the poster girl. I was a smudge on the poster.

Dan’s eyes lingered for a second too long, and I caught the unspoken memo: clean lines, clean faces, clean stories. I’m good at disappearing on cue. I folded my shoulders in, pressed the cup to my chest like a shield, willing the brown to stop blooming, telling myself to move, fix, be easy, anything but visible.

Before I could turn away, I caught Blair’s eyes. Brief. Bright. Not pity. A different meaning, a secret kept behind his teeth. Something like a door, neither open nor closed. A promise, or a plan. A look that said: this moment can be more than a stain, if you let it.

Priscilla’s laugh follows me down the hall, bright and hollow, like ice in a glass. I don’t have to turn to see her leaning in, voice dipped in honey, the others chiming all the right words—brilliant, inspired, visionary—like a chorus that only knows one name.

I hit the side door with my shoulder. The metal bar is cold; the air beyond it is hotter, heavy with exhaust and summer. The door thuds shut behind me, cutting off the performance mid-applause. My blouse has dried into a stiff shell where the coffee hit, a brown, uneven blotch blooming over my chest.

Out in the parking lot, my brain does what it always does to keep me from crying—it writes.

A kids’ book, simple enough for small hands to hold without it hurting too much. A girl with black pigtails, me, really in a too-starched uniform, knees scuffed, shoes half-size too big. She carries hot chocolate instead of coffee, careful as a tightrope walker. And a glossy-haired princess swings a backpack just wide enough to tip the cup.

The cocoa blooms brown on white. That high, tinkly laugh names you second before anyone votes. Teachers don’t look. The girls shrug. You stare at the stain and decide you’re the mess.

In your room, there’s a corkboard of second-place ribbons like a constellation you never asked for, chocolate rings ghosting the corners of worksheets, and you practicing small—shoulders tucked, breath quiet. The book gives you what I didn’t have: a voice that doesn’t apologize. You’re not the spill, kid. You’re the one who keeps getting up.

The mean girls? Peacocks in cardboard crowns, noise and shimmer that only gleam in borrowed shadow. You learn to steady your cup when they bump you, to wear the stain like a map that says I was here. Don’t shrink to be their wind. You’re the eagle, spread your wings. Hot chocolate in both hands. A real smile, not because the room demanded it, but because you know you don’t have to disappear to matter.

Out in the sultry parking lot, the only cheering is the rattle of the HVAC and a distant car alarm. I stood on oil-slicked concrete and let myself breathe, the taste of her perfume finally lifting off my tongue.

Inside, she’s winning them. I’m the echo that left the room, so no one had to hear it. I tell myself I’m getting fresh air. Mostly, I’m getting out of their way. And I can already see Monday: my things in little brown boxes, stacked neatly, the whole of me slid into the back of my car like I was never here at all.

I don’t sleep. Instead, I rehearse losing my job. Every time I close my eyes, I see Dan’s mouth flatten, hear myself saying too much, watch Priscilla’s smile slice four a.m. to ribbons. By then, I’m at the kitchen table in yesterday’s blouse, scrubbing at the ghost of coffee like I could scrub the night out of my head.

The rest of the week plays the same loop. I circle job listings in the paper with a dull pen while I polish my resume, swapping verbs, sanding edges. I tell myself I’m better than this, better than office politics, and repeat it until the words go tinny in my mouth.

On Monday, I arrive early. The office is a hush, the empty halls a place I can hide in. The garage hums; rain ghosts the air, threading itself through the thick smell of oil. My hatchback exhales into its familiar, sunbaked spot. I walk past the RESERVED placards like a gallery of names I don’t belong to, eyes down, counting steps, averting my gaze until the end of the row.

Her space was empty.

No red sports car gleaming under the soft lights like a trophy. No wink of vanity plates. Just a clean rectangle of concrete and a painted sign above it—Reserved—MVP—staring back like a punchline missing its laugh.

I stopped breathing. Such a small thing, a gap where she should be. But it felt like standing in front of a mirror and not seeing the person who always takes center stage. Late? Sick? Called in early to be crowned again? Fired, a wild part of me whispered, and hope flared so fast it scared me. I don’t think that way, not really.

I pressed my palm to the cool pillar until the heat in my face drained off. Don’t be stupid, I told myself. Empty doesn’t mean anything. Titles shift. People are late. I’m the one who gets fired in this story, remember?

Still, as I walked toward the elevator, the garage sounded different. The quiet didn’t echo with her. For the first time since last week, my chest loosened enough to let a full breath in. I slipped into the elevator before the feeling could notice and run.

Turning the corner, the long hall humming with tired fluorescents, I was already rehearsing how to make myself small. Then I saw it, right there on my desk—a clear glass vase. A single red rose lit up like a stoplight in the gray of morning, its stem needled with thorns, its bloom loud as a heart.

WTF. For a beat, I think I’ve wandered to the wrong workstation. My chair. My mug. My stack of marked-up briefs—and then the rose, impossibly bright, siren-red in a clear glass vase. A folded card leans against it. My name is on the front. My name.

I glance over my shoulder, expecting a camera crew or Priscilla’s laugh snapping shut around me. Nothing; just the copier grinding itself awake somewhere down the corridor. My fingers tremble as I slide a nail beneath the fold and open the note.

“Jamie, it was clear that you were the brainchild behind the campaign for my book after you left. I look forward to working with you, even if your teammates don’t appreciate you, I do.” — Blair Thomas

I read it twice. A third time. As if the ink might evaporate if I blink too hard. The paper is heavy, expensive, like proof you can hold. Heat climbs my throat, the kind that warns tears are loading whether I’ve granted permission or not. I press my thumb hard into the card’s edge until the sting steadies me.

Someone finally saw me. Not a coworker doing damage control, the author, the prize they were courting, while I ghosted through the side exit, coffee bleeding through my white blouse, sliding warm over my ribs toward my belly.

Inside me, the girl with hot chocolate and scuffed knees stands up a little. She squares her shoulders. She lets the smile happen, not because the room asked for it, but because it turns out my name sounds different when I say it to myself and believe it.

My first instinct was to hide it. I slid the card half under my keyboard, pulled it back out, then tucked it into my planner like a secret I wasn’t ready to let the light touch for long. I could already hear the spin if this got around. I could already see Priscilla’s mouth curdle at the edges. But for once, the fear didn’t sweep the table clean. It just sat beside the rose and made room.

I leaned in and breathed the rose. It smelled like something I couldn’t name—like a door opening. The empty spot in the garage flashed through my mind. The way Dan’s eyes had held mine. The hours I’d spent rehearsing the script where I was told I was too much.

Maybe I was. Maybe too much is exactly what it takes to finally be seen.

I straightened the vase, smoothed the corner of the note, and sat down. The chair felt different under me, as if it had been mine all along and I was only now letting myself believe it.

By noon, certainty unraveled. The rose looked like a mistake again; the note read like a fever dream. Then Dan pinged: “Got a minute?” My stomach did the trapdoor thing. I followed him past the bullpen, past the glass where I usually catch my small reflection, down the hush of the executive row. He stopped at the empty office next to his—the one everyone called the waiting room for gods.

The lock chirped. He opened the door and held out a keycard. “You’ll need this.”

The thin plastic was heavier than it should have been. It lay on my palm like a new word I wasn’t sure I was allowed to say yet. My pulse climbed into my throat. The rose’s red burned in my periphery, a stoplight turned green. I didn’t ask what for. I just felt the floor of my old story tilt, and the next one open.

I waited for the after, for the neat sentence that would put me back where I belong. Instead, he said, “Blair’s publisher called at eight. They want to scale your concept across their list. We’re building a dedicated group to do author campaigns. I want you to lead it.”

For a second, all I could hear was gym noise from another life. Match point. My knee hitting the floor. The cheer going to someone else. My mouth went dry. “Me?” It came out small and hoarse, a kid asking if the grown-ups mean it.

“You,” he said, like it was obvious. Like it had always been obvious.

He walked me through the space—where my team would sit, the whiteboard we’d crowd with ideas, the budget I’d sign off on. I nodded like I knew how to carry a room with my name on the door. Inside, the girl with the pigtails stared at the keycard in my hand and didn’t dare blink.

An hour later, Facilities emailed: Parking Reassignment. I took the elevator down just to prove it wasn’t a joke. The MVP spot wasn’t an empty rectangle anymore. A temporary placard was taped over the old sign. My name. Spelled right. I touched the paper like it might smudge, like names only belong to other people.

Back upstairs, I sat in my new office with the door half-open, the rose on the windowsill, the note tucked where I could see it if I needed proof. The publisher liked my idea. We were expanding. I’d be the one steering now—not just keeping the ball in play while someone else took the bow.

I didn’t feel triumphant. I felt careful, like holding something warm and alive that might choose me back if I didn’t flinch. I let my name be loud in my head for once. I let the chair take my weight. And for the first time, being second wasn’t the ending I was braced for. It was just a story. I didn’t have to keep telling.

I hope you enjoyed this story.  Yes, sharing my stories is part of a marketing campaign, which, if you’re an author, you might try.  

Keep an eye on this space for news about the release date of The Big Beautiful Book of Stupid Shit. Sharing with friends is encouraged, as is leaving comments.

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Effective Book Marketing Strategies for Authors

Effective Book Marketing Strategies for Authors

As the Director of the Carrollton League of Writers, I talk a lot about marketing. Like, a lot. Why? Because, as a writer, you’re basically doing one of three things at any given moment: writing, editing, or trying to convince people to buy the damn thing you wrote. And let me tell you right now: that third one is where dreams go to die.

That’s why I tell people to keep their day jobs. Seriously. Writing is a business, sure, but half the time, it’s just a fancy way to justify a tax write-off. “No, honey, it’s not a failed hobby—it’s a business expense.” And let’s just say most writers aren’t exactly raking in Stephen King-level royalty checks.

But hey, I’m not here to crush your dreams of being the next EL James (although I could). Instead, let me help you out with some marketing tips. Because let’s face it: if you don’t sell your book, nobody’s gonna read it. Well, except for your mom—and even she might “accidentally” forget to finish it.

1. Develop a Book Marketing Strategy

This is step one, folks. Before you do anything else, you need a plan. I know, planning isn’t sexy or fun, but neither is explaining to your friends why your book has been on Amazon for two years and still has zero reviews.

Here’s the deal: set some goals, figure out who the hell you’re writing for (hint: it’s not “everyone”), and decide how you’re going to reach them. A clear marketing strategy will help you avoid wasting time on pointless crap that doesn’t work.

2. Build Your Author Platform

Look, if nobody knows who you are, nobody’s gonna care about your book. That’s where your author platform comes in. It’s basically your online stage—so make sure you don’t look like a total amateur while you’re standing on it.

Create an Author Website: Think of this as your digital home base. It’s where people will go to learn about you, your book, and why they should give you their money. Plus, it’s a great place to collect email addresses for future marketing. (Yes, we’re going to talk about email lists later, so don’t roll your eyes yet.)

Engage on Social Media: This is where you can pretend you’re a celebrity, even if you’re just a writer with 12 followers and a lot of opinions about coffee. Platforms like Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, and TikTok are your friends—if you use them right. Post updates, share behind-the-scenes tidbits, and actually interact with people. Nobody likes a self-promotional robot.

3. Prepare for Launch

Your book launch is a big freaking deal. It’s like a party, except instead of booze and karaoke, you’re hoping people will buy your book and leave nice reviews. So, yeah, slightly less fun, but still important.

Write a Killer Author Bio: This is your chance to convince readers that you’re an actual human being and not some faceless entity who churned out a book because ChatGPT told you to. Be relatable. Be funny. (Or don’t be funny, if that’s not your thing—but at least try to be interesting.)

Build a Launch Team: Gather a group of people who are willing to hype you up. These could be friends, family, or random strangers you bribed with the promise of free copies. They’ll leave early reviews, share your book on social media, and generally make you look like you’ve got a whole squad cheering for you.

Find Reviewers: Bloggers, influencers, that one book nerd you know—they’re all fair game. Reviews matter. A lot. Especially on platforms like Amazon. Without them, your book might as well not exist.

4. Optimize Your Book’s Online Presence

Your book’s online presence is like its dating profile. If it’s boring, confusing, or full of typos, nobody’s swiping right.

Metadata and Keywords: This is the boring part, but it’s super important. Make sure your book’s title, description, and keywords are optimized for search engines. Basically, make it easy for people to find your book when they’re browsing online.

Decide Where to Sell: Amazon is the obvious choice, but you’ve got options. You could go exclusive with Kindle Direct Publishing (and maybe Kindle Unlimited) or distribute your book more widely. Just know that Amazon is kind of like the popular kid at school—if you’re not hanging out there, you’re probably missing out on a lot of attention.

5. Promote Your Book

Here’s where the real hustle comes in. You’ve got to put yourself out there and make people want to read your book.

Leverage Social Proof: Translation: beg readers to leave reviews. The more people are talking about your book online, the more likely it is that others will check it out.

Reach Out for Publicity: Bloggers, podcasters, and media outlets can help spread the word. Guest blogging and podcast interviews are great ways to get in front of new audiences. Plus, you get to feel important for a hot second.

Run Promotions: Discounts, giveaways, limited-time offers—these are all great ways to generate buzz. Everyone loves free stuff, so use that to your advantage.

6. Keep the Momentum Going

Here’s the thing about book marketing: it doesn’t stop after your launch. If you want your book to keep selling, you’ve got to keep working at it. (Yeah, I know. It sucks. Welcome to the grind.)

Build an Email List: Remember when I said we’d talk about email lists? Well, here we are. Use your website and social media to collect email addresses, then send out regular newsletters to keep your audience engaged. Think of it as your personal fan club.

Keep Marketing: Try new things. Experiment. Fail. Learn. And then try again. Marketing is an ongoing process, and the more you do it, the better you’ll get.

Start thinking about marketing before you finish your book. I know, it’s tempting to just focus on the writing and hope people will magically find your work later, but that’s not how it works. The earlier you start planning and building your platform, the better your chances of success.

And hey, if all else fails, at least you can say you gave it a shot. Worst case scenario, you’ve got a great story to tell at parties: “Remember that time I tried to be a famous author? Yeah, that was wild.”

If you want me to dig deeper into any of these steps—or if you just need someone to commiserate with—I’m here for you. Let’s make your book the next big thing (or at least a thing).

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How to Craft a Compelling Author Bio for Your Book

How to Craft a Compelling Author Bio for Your Book

After spending months or even years pouring your heart into writing a book, it’s natural to ask yourself: What else goes into this book to make it complete? Beyond captivating stories or compelling content, one of the key elements that often gets overlooked is the author bio.

The back-of-book biography is your chance to make a memorable first impression on readers. Keep it short, relevant, and engaging. Focus on what makes you the right person to have written this book, and sprinkle in a touch of personality to make it relatable.

Whether you’re a seasoned author or publishing your first book, your bio is an opportunity to connect with your audience, so make it count!

As our writers group, The Carrollton League of Writers, is working on compiling a book of short stories,

I’ve been thinking a lot about author bios. With multiple contributors, we’ve decided to dedicate a “Meet the Authors” section in our book, offering each writer a chance to connect with readers. Even with more space available in this section, understanding the art of crafting a concise, back-of-book author bio is essential.

So, what exactly goes into an author bio for the back of a book? Let’s break it down.

What Is a Back-of-Book Biography?

A back-of-book biography—often called an author bio—is a brief, engaging snapshot of who you are as a writer. It’s designed to introduce you to readers, build a connection, and establish your credibility. This small piece of text can have a big impact on how readers perceive you and your work.

Key Elements of a Back-of-Book Biography

Here’s what to include for a polished, professional author bio:

1. Brevity

Keep it short and sweet. A back-cover bio is typically no more than a sentence or two. There’s no room for your full life story here—focus only on the essentials.

2. Relevant Credentials

Highlight any qualifications, experiences, or achievements that relate to your book. For example:

Are you a former detective writing a crime thriller? Mention it.

Writing about personal finance? Note your professional background in the field.

3. Personal Touch

Include a relatable or humanizing detail, like where you live, a hobby, or a quirky fact. This helps readers connect with you on a personal level.

4. Tone

Match the tone of your bio to the tone of your book.

A humorous book might call for a witty, playful bio.

A serious nonfiction work should strike a professional, polished tone.

5. Current Work or Achievements

If you’ve published other notable works or received awards, this is the place to highlight them. Mention only the most impressive or relevant ones to keep it concise.

6. Call to Action (Optional)

You can include a website, social media handle, or email for readers who want to connect or learn more about you. This is optional but can be a great way to engage your audience beyond the book.

What to Avoid in Your Author Bio

1. Too Much Detail

Save the lengthy biography for the inside of the book or a dedicated “About the Author” page. The back-of-book bio should be quick and to the point.

2. Overshadowing the Book

The bio is there to complement the book, not steal the spotlight. Don’t let it distract from the main event: your writing.

Example of a Back Cover Author Bio

To give you an idea, here’s a simple yet effective example:

Jane Smith is a former marine biologist whose adventures at sea inspired her debut novel. She lives in Seattle with her two cats and a love of coffee.

This bio is concise, includes relevant credentials, adds a personal touch, and matches the tone of the book (which might be a fun, adventure-filled tale).

But what about the Author page? you might ask…

Here’s an example of what a more detailed “About the Author” page might look like, followed by an explanation of how it differs from a back-of-book bio:
About the Author
Jane Smith is a former marine biologist turned novelist who draws inspiration from her years of exploring the oceans. During her career, she spent over a decade researching coral reef ecosystems and leading deep-sea dives, experiences that serve as the foundation for her debut novel, Beneath the Waves.
Jane holds a Master’s degree in Marine Biology from the University of Washington and has published several academic papers on marine conservation. After transitioning from science to storytelling, Jane discovered her passion for weaving gripping adventures with environmental themes, which she hopes will inspire readers to appreciate and protect the natural world.
When she’s not writing, Jane enjoys kayaking along the Pacific Northwest coastline, photographing wildlife, and experimenting with sustainable gardening. She currently lives in Seattle with her two cats, Luna and Neptune, and an ever-growing collection of sea glass.
You can learn more about Jane and her work by visiting her website at http://www.janesmithwrites.com or following her on Instagram at @janesmithwrites.
How a Dedicated About Page Differs from a Back-of-Book Bio
The “About the Author” page is much longer and more detailed compared to a back-of-book bio, and here’s how they differ:

  1. Length and Detail
    Back-of-Book Bio: Short and concise—usually just 1-3 sentences meant to give readers a quick introduction to the author.
    Example: Jane Smith is a former marine biologist whose adventures at sea inspired her debut novel. She lives in Seattle with her two cats.
    About Page: Longer and more comprehensive, allowing the author to go into greater detail about their background, education, career, and personal life.
  2. Purpose
    Back-of-Book Bio: Its primary purpose is to establish credibility and give a brief personal touch, helping readers understand why the author is qualified to write the book.
    About Page: Designed to provide a fuller picture of the author, including their expertise, motivations, hobbies, and potentially their journey as a writer, creating a deeper connection with the audience.
  3. Tone
    Back-of-Book Bio: Matches the tone of the book and is usually professional yet approachable (e.g., witty for a humorous book, formal for serious nonfiction).
    About Page: Can be more conversational and personal, giving readers insight into the author’s personality and life beyond the book.
  4. Call to Action
    Back-of-Book Bio: Sometimes includes a subtle call to action, like a website or social media handle, but this isn’t always included.
    About Page: Almost always includes links to the author’s website, social media, or other works, encouraging readers to engage further.
  5. Audience
    Back-of-Book Bio: Targets readers who are deciding whether to purchase or read the book.
    About Page: Targets readers who want to learn more about the author after enjoying their book or discovering their work online.
    When to Use Each
    Back-of-Book Bio: A must-have for any book, as it’s often the first impression readers get of the author.
    About Page: Ideal for an author’s website, blog, or even the back matter of a book for readers who want to dive deeper into the author’s life and work.
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  • #AuthorLife
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Point Blank: Lessons I Learned on the Wrong Side of a Badge

Point Blank: Lessons I Learned on the Wrong Side of a Badge

Point Blank: Lessons I Learned on the Wrong Side of a Badge

A Book You Didn’t Know You Needed (But Oh, You Do)

Let me hit you with a question: Have you ever looked back on your life, shaking your head like, What the actual hell was I thinking? Ever had cops point guns at you like you just robbed a damn bank? Or been pulled over for speeding, on a bicycle? If you answered yes to any of that, welcome to the club. And if you didn’t, buckle up, because this book will give you a front-row seat to the kind of weirdness you didn’t know you needed in your life.

Now, take that “what the hell” feeling, crank it up to eleven, sprinkle in a heaping dose of stupidity, and slather it all with dark humor. That’s my life in a nutshell. Well, that, and now it’s also my book.

Point Blank isn’t just a catchy title, it’s basically the theme of my existence. It’s a front-row seat to the absurdity of growing up chasing lizards in Carrollton, Texas, and somehow ending up walking a tightrope between comedy and total catastrophe. And let’s be real—who hasn’t been there?

This book is my love letter to the moments that make life… well, incredibly dumb. It’s a collection of stories, life lessons, and the facepalm-worthy memories that prove one thing: no matter how much you think you’ve got life figured out, you don’t. (Spoiler alert: no one does.) But honestly, isn’t that where the fun is? In the ridiculous, the unexpected, and the holy-crap-why-is-this-happening moments?

So, What the Hell Is Point Blank About?

At its core, Point Blank is a comedic deep dive into life’s dumbest moments. But it’s not just that. It’s part memoir, part roast, part free therapy session (for me, not you). It’s the kind of book you pick up when life’s been kicking you in the teeth, and you need a reminder that you are not the only one out here navigating the chaos.

Here’s a little teaser of what you’re in for:

Lessons I Learned While Staring Down the Barrel of a Gun

Pro tip: Don’t try to argue your case with the cops on the side of the road. Just don’t.

How to Survive a Head-On Collision (And the Bureaucratic Circus That Follows)

Because apparently, getting hit by a drunk driver isn’t enough. Nope, fate has to throw in paperwork, insurance nightmares, and a side of complete nonsense.

The Great Paper Route Fiasco

Picture this: ink-stained hands, 5 a.m. bike rides, and a not-so-charming run-in with the local cops. (Spoiler: they weren’t impressed.)

“Arrest-Me Red” and Other Car Choices I’d Like to Forget

Fast cars, flashing lights, and one particularly chaotic road trip from Miami to Key West that felt more like a cop magnet convention.

Reinvention 101

From engineer to IT guy to sci-fi writer, because apparently, I like to keep my life as unpredictable as possible.

Why You’re Gonna Love This Book

Okay, I get it. You’re probably thinking: Do I really need another book about someone else’s ridiculous life? But hear me out, this one’s different. It’s not just about my life. It’s about our lives.

It’s about the universal stupidity we all encounter—the shared facepalm moments that remind us we’re all just winging it. You’ll laugh (hard). You’ll cringe (probably harder). You might even tear up a little, but only in that holy crap, this is too real kind of way.

Think of Point Blank as sitting down with that one friend who’s been through some serious shit, lived to tell the tale, and somehow managed to find the punchline in every disaster.

Who’s This Book For?

If you’ve ever made a decision so dumb it deserves its own monument, this book’s for you.

If you’ve ever looked at someone else’s life and thought, Well, at least I’m not that guy, this book’s definitely for you.

If you’re a fan of George Carlin’s brutal honesty, Douglas Adams’ absurd humor, or David Sedaris’ ability to find hilarity in misery, congrats—you’ve found your new favorite read.

If you just need a good laugh, a break, or a reminder that life’s most chaotic moments are often the most memorable, this book is 1000% for you.

Where to Read It

Picture this: You’re sitting on the toilet (don’t even pretend you don’t scroll or read in there), flipping pages or swiping through your phone, and suddenly you’re laughing so hard you almost fall off the damn seat. That’s what this book is for.

It’s for the bathroom, the waiting room, the coffee break, the long-ass flight, or those sleepless nights when you just want to escape the madness for a bit.

A Final Word

Point Blank isn’t just a book. It’s an experience. It’s a rollercoaster through the highs and lows, the WTF moments, and the laughs that make life worth living—and retelling.

So here’s the deal: Buy the book. Read the book. Laugh at the book. Share the book. And who knows? Maybe you’ll start seeing your own life in a slightly less serious, slightly more ridiculous light.

Because let’s face it, isn’t that what we’re all trying to do? Find the humor in the madness, make sense of the chaos, and keep moving forward, one hilariously stupid moment at a time.

Go grab your copy of Point Blank. Trust me, your life will be better (or at least funnier) for it.

Then do me a solid, give it a review from where you bought it, or even read it for free on KDP.

Mastering Hooks: Capture Readers in 3 Seconds

Mastering Hooks: Capture Readers in 3 Seconds

Struggling with the business side of writing? You’re not alone. Here’s a candid look at turning pages into paychecks—join the conversation.

Capturing and Maintaining Reader Attention in the Age of Overload

In a world where your readers’ phones buzz every few seconds, attention is the rarest resource. Great ideas aren’t enough. To connect, you need to cut through noise, spark curiosity fast, and keep delivering value line by line. This post breaks down why attention is harder to earn today—and practical ways to win and keep it.

Information Overload: The New Reality

Did I just interrupt your doomscrolling? Good—that’s part of the problem I’m writing against. I’m wading through the same flood you are: more to read, watch, and hear than any one person can hold. New posts, newsletters, videos, and podcasts never stop. Even careful, polished work gets buried under the pile.

Why Your Hook Only Gets 3 Seconds (and Why You Should Panic a Little)

Okay, writers, let’s be real for a second: your hook has the lifespan of junk mail. You know what I’m talking about—that envelope that lands in your hands, gets a three-second glance, and then, unless it screams “Open me!”, takes a one-way trip to the trash (or, as my mom used to call it, the “circular filing cabinet”). Your readers are doing the exact same thing with your title, subtitle, and opening line. If you don’t grab them immediately, well… let’s just say your hard work is headed for the digital equivalent of the recycling bin.

Your job? Be that one letter worth opening. You know the one—the one that makes you pause, unfold it, and actually read the thing. Let’s talk about how to make your writing that irresistible.

What Makes a Winning Hook?

A good hook isn’t just about sounding clever—it’s about making readers stop their scrolling, squint at your words, and think, “Wait, this is for me!” Here’s what your hook should do:

Signal relevance fast: “This is for YOU.” Not some vague “writer” or “reader”—you.

Make a clear promise: “Here’s what you’ll get if you keep reading.”

Stir curiosity: “You don’t know this yet, but you’re about to find out.”

Be specific: Use names, numbers, or real-world examples.

Set stakes: Show them what’s in it for them—time saved, pain avoided, or success achieved.

Sound human: No fluff, no jargon, no robotic nonsense.

Writing is Junk Mail (Bear With Me…)

Your title = The envelope sender: If you don’t seem trustworthy, intriguing, or relevant, trash.

Your subtitle/preview = The teaser on the envelope: What’s inside? Spell out the benefit in one clean sentence.

Your opening line = The first sentence of the letter: Hit them with tension, a question, or a surprise.

Subheads and bold lines = The P.S. on the letter: Reinforce your promise with quick, scannable takeaways.

If any of these pieces are vague, boring, or confusing, guess what? Your reader “files” you—and not in a good way.

The 3-Second Test

Before you publish, ask yourself three questions. Score each from 1–5:

Clarity: Can a stranger tell who this is for and what they’ll get?

Curiosity: Is there an unresolved question, tension, or surprise?

Credibility: Are there specifics (names, numbers, situations) to back this up?

If any score less than a 3, it’s time to rewrite. Sorry, but you owe it to your readers—and your ego.

Hook Formulas That Actually Work

Let’s get practical. These formulas are like cheat codes for writing irresistible hooks:

Problem + Time Frame + Outcome

Example: “Spend 10 minutes today and cut your email replies in half this week.”

Surprising Stat + So What

Example: “Half your readers leave by paragraph two—here’s how to keep the rest.”

Confession + Pivot

Example: “I lost my first 1,000 subscribers—here’s what I did differently on #1,001.”

Question + Consequence

Example: “What if your opening line is costing you 80% of your readers?”

Contrarian Angle + Benefit

Example: “Stop outlining—story your scenes instead.”

Tiny Promise + Clear Benefit

Example: “One sentence that makes every paragraph pull its weight.”

Specific Who + Outcome

Example: “Freelance writers: the 7-word reply that doubles approvals.”

Before-and-After Examples (Because We’ve All Been There)

Weak: “Let’s talk about writing hooks.”

Strong: “Your first line decides if your work gets read—or trashed in three seconds.”

Weak: “Here are marketing tips.”

Strong: “A non-gross way to sell your book in 15 minutes a day.”

Weak: “My editing process.”

Strong: “How I cut 27% of fluff—and gained 40% more readers.”

Weak (Fiction): “A woman faces a challenge.”

Strong: “She was supposed to be dead by dawn—and had a meeting at nine.”

Weak (Memoir/Essay): “Work overwhelmed me.”

Strong: “I didn’t quit my job—I misplaced it under 97 unread emails.”

A Quick Workflow to Nail Your Hook

Write 10 versions of your hook. Yes, 10. Just do it.

Underline your nouns and verbs. If they’re vague, swap them for concrete ones.

Add stakes: time, money, emotion, or risk.

Pick a tension device: question, contrast, surprise, or confession.

Read it out loud. Can you grasp it in one breath?

Do the phone test: glance at your hook for three seconds. If it doesn’t grab you instantly, rewrite.

Pitfalls to Avoid

Clever but unclear: If no one understands your wordplay, it doesn’t matter.

Throat-clearing: “In today’s world…” Stop. Just start where the energy is.

Overpromising: Big claims with zero specifics = instant distrust.

Passive voice and hedges: “might,” “could possibly,” “somewhat.” Nope. Be bold and direct.

Your Hook is Your Envelope

At the end of the day, your hook is the envelope that keeps your work from being trashed. Make it unmistakably for your reader, promise a real payoff, and make that promise impossible to ignore. Because, let’s be honest, we’re all one bad hook away from the literary recycling bin—and nobody wants to end up there.

Now, go write a hook that makes me stop scrolling. I dare you.

And while your at it, like, follow, share and help a fellow author out.

Thanks!

If the interests is there I will post more articles like this to assist you in your career of turning your paperback into a paycheck.

Best

Author Scott

How Authors Can Thrive in the Digital Age

How Authors Can Thrive in the Digital Age

A lot of you are staring at flat sales and asking me the same thing I see in my inbox every week: are people still reading?

Short answer: yes. Longer answer: hell yes, but reading has changed outfits. People still love romance, fantasy, and thrillers, yet a lot of them are grabbing audiobooks, e-books, and snackable serials on Wattpad and Substack. Attention is a fragile little beast, so readers also go for shorter, punchier stuff, or they want summaries and adaptations like podcasts and quick recaps that fit between life, work, and whatever Netflix is feeding them tonight.

Where Are People Reading?

  • Online platforms: Wattpad, Kindle Direct Publishing, Substack, and even Reddit are buzzing with new voices and weirdly passionate niche communities.
  • Social media: Instagram’s Bookstagram, TikTok’s BookTok, and Twitter’s BookTwitter can catapult a book from “who the hell is this?” to “I saw that everywhere.”
  • Audiobooks and podcasts: Multitaskers unite. People listen while commuting, cleaning, working out, or pretending to stretch.

Why, you might ask. Have you listened to the news? Then you know the answer.

How Can an Unknown Writer Get Known Today?

1) Social media is a tool, not a religion

  • Use it if it helps. It’s great for visibility, networking, and actually talking to readers, but it shouldn’t swallow your writing time.
  • Yes, some authors thrive with little or no social presence. They are the exception. For most of us mortals, social helps put the work in front of eyeballs.

2) Other ways to get noticed

  • Self-publishing: KDP and Wattpad can get your work to readers without asking anyone’s permission.
  • Newsletter and email list: Gold. You own that relationship, and it beats shouting into the algorithm void.
  • Collaborations: Guest posts, podcast interviews, swaps with other writers. Borrow audiences like a pro.
  • Local events: Bookstores, libraries, and fairs still move the needle. Also, free cookies sometimes.

3) If you do social, do it smart

  • Go where your readers hang out. TikTok is huge for YA and romance. Twitter is strong for sci-fi and literary fiction.
  • Post more than “buy my book.” Share behind-the-scenes bits, the messy writing process, personal stories, and jump into reader conversations. Be a human, not a billboard.

The Business of Writing: From A to Z

Writing a great story matters. Editing matters. Neither will save you if you treat your book like a message in a bottle. Authors are not just artists. You are a business. That means strategy, systems, and marketing that moves people to talk about your work and you.This is not selling out. This is how you get read.

What “Business” Means for Authors

  • Product: Your book, your series, your backlist, your bonus content.
  • Brand: The promise you make to readers and the vibe you deliver every time.
  • Distribution: How your work reaches people, both digital and physical.
  • Marketing: How you attract attention and convert it into actual readers.
  • Operations: Calendars, budgets, deadlines, tools, contracts, taxes. The glamorous stuff.
  • Analytics: Knowing what works so you can do more of it and stop guessing.

The A to Z of Author Biz

  • A — Audience: Define a reader persona, not a vague blob. Who are they, what do they read, where do they hang out, why do they care.
  • B — Brand: One line that nails your promise. Keep your covers, copy, and tone consistent.
  • C — Copywriting: Your blurb and ad hooks must carry their own weight. Clarity beats clever.
  • D — Distribution: Go wide, or go exclusive. Pick based on genre norms and your goals.
  • E — Email: Build a list. Own your audience. Send value, not spam.
  • F — Funnel: Attract, capture, nurture, convert, delight. Simple beats messy.
  • G — Goals: Monthly word count, quarterly launches, revenue targets. Write them down.
  • H — Hook: A sharp premise plus emotional stakes. Put it everywhere.
  • I — IP: Protect your rights. Think audio, translation, merch, adaptations.
  • J — Joint ventures: Cross-promos, anthology teams, podcast swaps. Borrow trust.
  • K — Keywords: Metadata matters. Help stores and search engines find you.
  • L — Launch: ARC teams, preorders, schedule, assets, reviews on day one.
  • M — Marketing: Sustained, not frantic. Test small, then scale.
  • N — Nurture: Behind-the-scenes updates, freebies, bonus chapters, Q&A.
  • O — Outreach: Book clubs, libraries, indie bookstores, local media.
  • P — Positioning and Price: Know your shelf. Price to market, then experiment.
  • Q — Quality control: Edit, proof, format. Readers forgive a lot, but not sloppy.
  • R — Reviews: Make it easy to leave them. Never argue with a reviewer.
  • S — Social proof: Testimonials, awards, charts, screenshots. Use them.
  • T — Testing: Covers, blurbs, ad images, first pages. Let data win.
  • U — USP: Your unique angle. Say it plainly. Repeat it often.
  • V — Visibility: SEO, social, ads, partnerships, events. Stack your channels.
  • W — Word of mouth: The engine you build on purpose, not by accident.
  • X — X-factor: A signature element readers remember. A tone, trope, theme, or world.
  • Y — You, Inc.: Protect your time and energy. Systems beat willpower.
  • Z — Zero regret finish: Close loops, deliver on promises, ask for the next action.

Marketing That Gets People Talking

People share what makes them feel smart, seen, or entertained. Give them something to pass along.

  • Talk triggers: A bold premise, an unexpected twist, a controversial question, a jaw-drop world rule. Bake one into the book and the blurb.
  • Shareables: Quote cards, short audio clips, 20–40 second video hooks, tidy behind-the-scenes photos. Make it easy to repost.
  • Reader roles: ARC team, street team, beta readers, name-a-character contests, choice-of-cover votes.
  • Communities: Goodreads groups, Discord servers, Reddit threads, TikTok and Instagram niches. Show up where conversations already exist.
  • Micro-influencers: Bookstagrammers, BookTok creators, niche podcasts, genre newsletters. Smaller audiences can convert better.
  • Book clubs: Offer discussion guides, Zoom drop-ins, signed bookplates, discounts for bulk.
  • Local buzz: Libraries, indie bookstores, college lit groups, hometown papers. Real humans, real momentum.

Your Visibility Stack

  • Home base: A simple website and an email list. You own both.
  • One primary social channel: Go where your readers actually are. Post consistently, not constantly.
  • Retail pages that convert: Strong cover, tight blurb, dialed metadata, compelling Look Inside.
  • Ads as accelerant: Start tiny on Amazon, Meta, or TikTok. Test audiences and creatives.
  • Search and SEO: Author name, series name, genre keywords. Make Google your friend.

A Simple Weekly System

  • Write: 5 sessions. Protect them like a dragon hoard.
  • Nurture: 1 email or community post with value or a peek behind the curtain.
  • Grow: 1 outreach action. Pitch a podcast, DM a creator, apply for a promo.
  • Promote: 2 evergreen posts or clips that spotlight your hook.
  • Measure: 20 minutes on metrics. Keep doing what moves the needle.

Metrics That Matter

  • Email list growth and open rate
  • Conversion on your retail pages
  • Cost per click and cost per new reader
  • Read-through across a series
  • Reviews per 100 sales
  • Time on page for your first chapter or sample

Common Mistakes to Avoid

  • Hiding behind the book: You are part of the product. Readers follow people.
  • Launching cold: Build a list and a conversation before release week.
  • Random acts of marketing: Pick a plan and stick to it for at least one quarter.
  • Chasing every trend: Choose one lane you can sustain.
  • Forgetting the back end: No clear next step means lost momentum.

Make Them Talk About You

  • Own a theme or hill to die on: A point of view readers can quote at dinner.
  • Name your world or promise: A catchy series name or manifesto line helps memory stick.
  • Deliver delight moments: Unexpected bonus scenes, secret epilogues, surprise art drops.
  • Invite participation: Polls, challenges, reading sprints, live Q&A.
  • Close with an ask: If you loved it, tell a friend, leave a review, join the list. Simple and direct.

Now, for all this free advice…My latest creation The Big Beautiful Book of Stupid Shit is almost ready for publication. If you like what you read, give me a follow, a thumbs up, hell repost it for me because what I have written will not only assist other writers but this book which is as large as “The Big Beautiful Bill.” is almost ready.

Thanks and much Love…

AuthorScott

Why ‘Ask Your Doctor If Death Is Right for You’ Works

Why ‘Ask Your Doctor If Death Is Right for You’ Works

Years ago I worked at an advertising agency. We had to be creative. Today while watching the news I was shocked by the big pharma ads. The tag line: is death right for you, came to mind.

Thinking back to those days, I formulated an ad campaign that would never get played, but it should. Do we really need pills that keep us hooked on more pills to fix the side effects of those pills?

Tell me what you think.

Alright, team. Gather ‘round. I’ve got a pitch for you that’s equal parts brilliance, absurdity, and just the right amount of “what the actual f***.” You’re going to love it. Or hate it. Either way, we’re making history—and probably pissing off Big Pharma in the process.

Picture this: A pharmaceutical commercial. But not just any pharmaceutical commercial. Oh no, this isn’t your run-of-the-mill “cure one thing, destroy seven others” nonsense. This is bold, it’s darkly funny, and it’s honest. Strap in, because I’m about to sell you the next big thing in healthcare advertising.

Opening Scene: A Hallmark Dream

We start with the usual formula—because let’s face it, the best parody thrives on clichés.

Imagine a serene meadow: golden sunlight pouring through the trees, a golden retriever frolicking in slow motion, and a woman spinning in circles like she just discovered her life has been sponsored by Xanax. The piano music? Uplifting. The visuals? Pinterest-worthy. The voiceover? Smooth as silk.

“Are you tired of your minor discomfort? Is that pesky rash ruining your Tuesday? Does your slight headache feel like the universe is conspiring against you? Introducing PanaceaX™—because being mildly inconvenienced is clearly the worst thing that can happen to you.”

Cue the woman laughing with her family. She’s baking cookies with zero regard for her gluten intolerance. The dog’s wagging its tail like it’s auditioning for a Disney movie. You feel warm, cozy, safe. But then… oh, then, the voiceover takes a turn.

The Twist: Side Effects from Hell

“Side effects may include nausea, dizziness, dry mouth, explosive diarrhea, uncontrollable vomiting, hallucinations, existential dread, spontaneous combustion, and, oh yeah—death.”

Pause for dramatic effect.

“Ask your doctor if PanaceaX™ is right for you.”

Now, let’s linger on this for a second. Death. We’re not even trying to sugarcoat it. We’re leaning all the way in. Because, let’s be real—half the drugs on the market already come with side effects that sound like rejected horror movie plots. Why not own it?

The tagline? Simple, catchy, and just the right amount of nihilistic charm:

“PanaceaX™: Because if you’re gonna die anyway, you might as well do it medicated.”

Now, I know what you’re thinking: “But how do we make people laugh about something as horrifying as spontaneous internal bleeding or uncontrollable rage?” Easy. We do what pharmaceutical ads already do—bury it under a montage of happy people living their best lives. Except we call attention to how absolutely insane it is.

The voiceover speeds up, auctioneer-style. You know the drill: “Nausea. Vomiting. Headaches. Diarrhea so explosive it’ll put food poisoning to shame. Dry mouth so bad you’ll think you’ve been licking sandpaper. And for those of you lucky enough to hit the jackpot: sudden personality changes, hallucinations, and the occasional bout of spontaneous combustion. PanaceaX™: Because nothing says ‘healthcare’ like becoming a walking dumpster fire.”

Meanwhile, the visuals continue to show people doing things that have nothing to do with the drug. A dad teaching his kid to ride a bike. A couple on a beach. A grandma knitting a sweater for her cat. No one’s vomiting. No one’s combusting. It’s all lies. But that’s the beauty of it.

Let’s Talk About the Rare Side Effects

Now, this is where we really shine. These aren’t your run-of-the-mill “oops, I sneezed too hard” side effects. Oh no. These are the real gems. The ones that make you question your life choices.

Uncontrollable Rage: Perfect for holiday dinners with the in-laws.

Sudden Hair Loss: Because bald is the new black.

Loss of Taste: Both literal and metaphorical. Say goodbye to your sense of flavor and your fashion sense.

Spontaneous Internal Bleeding: A fun surprise for everyone involved.

Death: The ultimate cure for all ailments. Guaranteed 100% effective every time.

And we have to include this one: “May cause an irrational fear of ducks.” Why? Because it’s weird, it’s random, and it makes people pay attention.

The Irony of It All

Here’s the kicker, folks: The diseases these drugs are treating? They’re usually not that big a deal. Heartburn? Allergies? A little anxiety? You don’t need a pill for that—you need a nap and a decent therapist. But no, we’ve been conditioned to think that every minor inconvenience requires a chemical solution. And let’s be honest, we eat it up. Why? Because the ads show us what we want to see: happiness, health, freedom.

That’s the genius of it. They dangle the perfect life in front of us, and we bite. Even if the fine print basically says, “May cause your organs to implode.”

Final Scene: The Closing Pitch

So here’s how we wrap it up. The screen fades to black. The piano music swells. The logo for PanaceaX™ appears, glowing softly. And the voiceover delivers the final line with just the right amount of smug optimism:

“PanaceaX™: Ask your doctor if death is right for you. (Spoiler alert: It probably is.)”

Cue the woman spinning in the meadow one last time, but this time, she’s holding a giant bottle of PanaceaX™ like it’s the Holy Grail.

Why This Works

This pitch is self-aware, sarcastic, and just unhinged enough to go viral. It pokes fun at the absurdity of pharmaceutical advertising while staying true to the format. It’s dark, it’s funny, and most importantly—it’s memorable. People will be quoting, “Ask your doctor if death is right for you” for years.

So, what do you think? Are we ready to take the pharmaceutical world by storm, or should we just prescribe ourselves a big ol’ dose of “f*** it” and call it a day?

A Taste of Stupid Shit (Coming Soon to a Brain Near You)

That, my friends, is just a tiny sample of the glorious nonsense you’ll find in The Big Beautiful Book of Stupid Shit, which is currently in the editing process. Yes, I’m editing it—because apparently, society frowns upon just flinging raw stupidity into the world without a little polish. Go figure.

I’m hoping to release it in the next few weeks because, let’s be real, the world desperately needs this. We’re drowning in stupidity every day—on TV, on social media, at family reunions—and someone (me) needs to catalog it, mock it, and gift-wrap it for your reading pleasure.

So, do me a favor: subscribe, follow, comment, and tell me what you think. Or don’t. I’m not your mom. But if you do, you’ll get to say you were here before this book becomes the literary equivalent of a viral cat meme. And let’s face it—who doesn’t want that level of cultural credibility?

Go forth, let your voice be heard and spread the word far and wide. Or don’t. No matter what, this book will come to fruition, and it promises to be an exceptionally enjoyable experience. Stay tuned, and prepare for comedy gold written in bite-sized chapters that will have you laughing as if you were at a live show.

-Best

Are Premium Writing Tools Worth the Investment?

Are Premium Writing Tools Worth the Investment?


Writers with a lifelong passion for the written word and the craft of storytelling often recognize the importance of using the right tools to bring their ideas to life. For those who have explored genres ranging from psychological thrillers with dark, erotic edges to humorous works like my work in progress, “The Big Beautiful Book of Stupid Shit,” every project demands a unique approach. Expensive writing tools—designed to refine grammar, enhance prose, and assist with plot development—are becoming an integral part of the writing process. But are they worth the investment for seasoned writers? Let’s explore.
Why Consider Premium Writing Tools?
Writers who are equally fascinated by both the arts and technology often look for ways to combine these passions to improve their craft. Writing tools have evolved far beyond basic spell checkers and are now sophisticated programs capable of analyzing tone, identifying plot holes, and suggesting improvements to elevate any piece of writing.
For authors who work on a wide range of projects—whether humorous critiques, science fiction adventures, or dark psychological thrillers—these tools serve as a valuable second pair of eyes. They ensure that stories remain polished, engaging, and free of errors.
How Writing Tools Can Help (and Where They Shine)
Expensive writing tools offer several features that make them worth the investment. Here’s how they can enhance different aspects of writing:
Grammar and Clarity
Even the most experienced writers can miss grammatical errors, unclear sentences, or awkward phrasing. Tools like Grammarly Premium or ProWritingAid go beyond simple corrections by analyzing sentence structure, suggesting concise alternatives, and highlighting overused phrases. For example, in a psychological thriller, where every word must carry weight, having a tool that ensures clarity is invaluable.
Style and Tone Analysis
Capturing the right tone is crucial in writing. Tools like Hemingway Editor make sure that the writing is accessible and punchy, pointing out overly complex sentences and passive voice. AI-driven tools like Sudowrite take this further by suggesting stylistic changes to match the intended tone, whether it’s sharp wit, emotional vulnerability, or urgent tension.
Plot Development and Story Structure
Writing intricate narratives, such as science fiction or thrillers, often comes with the challenge of spotting plot holes or inconsistencies. Tools like Campfire Pro or Plottr allow writers to map out their stories, track character arcs, and identify gaps in the plot. These tools are particularly helpful when dealing with multi-layered storylines or weaving together multiple timelines.
Research Assistance
Writers with backgrounds in history, literature, or even technical fields like physics understand the importance of research in crafting believable worlds. Tools like Scrivener allow them to organize research alongside their writing, making it easy to reference important details without disrupting their workflow.
Collaborative Feedback
Writing is often a solitary craft, but feedback is essential to growth. Tools like Fictionary provide AI-driven developmental editing, helping assess pacing, tension, and character development. For writers who explore varied genres, having a tool that serves as a digital writing coach can make a significant difference.
Do Writers Really Need Expensive Tools?
For writers serious about honing their craft, premium tools can be a game-changer. These tools aren’t substitutes for creativity or hard work—they’re enhancers. The most compelling stories come from within, but even the best storytellers benefit from tools that refine their work and help their ideas shine.
For instance, while crafting a humorous book like Stupid Shit, tools can ensure comedic timing lands effectively and critiques of absurdity remain sharp. In a psychological thriller, these tools can help ensure tension builds naturally and characters’ motivations stay consistent throughout the narrative.
Balancing Technology with Creativity
Technology is only as effective as the person using it. Writing software cannot replace a writer’s unique voice, perspective, or creative spark. It’s easy to become overly reliant on AI-driven tools, but the heart of any story always comes from the writer.
These tools function more like sophisticated assistants—they highlight technical flaws, streamline the process, and organize ideas, but the artistry remains in the hands of the writer.
Are Expensive Writing Tools Worth It?
For writers passionate about storytelling and willing to embrace technology, investing in premium tools is a wise decision. These tools streamline the writing process, refine ideas, and ensure that every word on the page serves its purpose. Whether crafting an intricate psychological thriller or a humorous critique of human absurdity, writing tools help writers reach new creative heights.
The best advice for writers considering these tools? Start small, experiment, and choose the ones that align with your goals. Remember, writing tools are there to support the craft—not replace it.
Embrace the technology, refine your craft, and keep writing. At the end of the day, the world needs great stories—flaws and all.
What are your thoughts on premium writing tools? Have you used any of the ones mentioned here? Let us know in the comments!

The Dangers of AI in Health Insurance Decisions

The Dangers of AI in Health Insurance Decisions

Imagine this: You’ve been working with a trusted specialist for years. They’ve prescribed a specific medication that works for you—one that keeps your condition under control and allows you to live your life. Then, out of nowhere, your pharmacist informs you that your insurance company has denied coverage for that medication. Why? Because somewhere in a server room, an AI algorithm has decided that a cheaper alternative might work just as well for you.

This isn’t science fiction. It’s happening now. AI is playing doctor—not by asking you to turn your head and cough, but by making cold, calculated decisions about your health, often without understanding the nuances of your medical history or the expertise of your physician.

The Kafkaesque Nightmare Begins

The first sign of trouble is a message from your pharmacist: “Your insurance has denied your claim.” For most people, this is the start of a maddening journey through a labyrinth of bureaucracy. You don’t fully understand why your claim was denied, but you know one thing: you need your medication. Your blood pressure spikes as frustration sets in.

You call the pharmacy, only to be greeted by an automated voice system. “Press 1 for English, 2 for Español. In a few words, tell us why you’re calling.” After navigating this maze, you finally reach a human—someone who asks for your name, date of birth, and insurance details. Then comes the dreaded response: “Your claim has been denied.”

Why? The pharmacist doesn’t know. They’re just the messenger. The denial is the result of an algorithmic decision, one that doesn’t care about your years of successful treatment or the side effects of alternative medications. It only cares about cost.

Your next call is to your doctor’s office. Surely, they can help, right? Wrong. You’re transferred to a voicemail because it’s after 3 PM. “If this is an emergency, call 911,” the recording says. You leave a message and wait. The next day, someone from the office calls back, but they’re just as baffled as you are. “Your claim was denied,” they say. “We’re not sure why.”

The doctor’s office contacts the insurance company on your behalf, only to be told that the denial was based on the AI’s determination that you haven’t tried cheaper alternatives. Never mind that those alternatives might not work for you—or worse, might cause harmful side effects. The AI doesn’t care. It’s not a doctor. It’s a cost-cutting machine.

At this point, you’re left with two choices: pay out of pocket for the medication you know works, or gamble with your health by trying the cheaper alternatives the AI recommends. If you’re like many people, you grit your teeth and pay full price, furious that your health is being held hostage by an algorithm.

This isn’t just a personal inconvenience. It’s a systemic issue. Insurance companies are increasingly relying on AI to review and deny claims, often without human oversight. According to reports, AI-driven claim denials have skyrocketed, with some estimates showing a 16-fold increase in denials. And while 90% of these denials are overturned on appeal, the damage is already done. Patients lose time, money, and sometimes their health in the process.

The consequences of these AI-driven decisions are devastating. Patients are forced to delay or forgo treatment, leading to worsening health outcomes. Families are left scrambling to cover costs, sometimes draining their savings or applying for Medicaid just to keep their loved ones alive. And all the while, the insurance companies’ bottom lines grow, as they save money by denying care.

This isn’t just about money. It’s about trust. When an AI overrides the judgment of a trained medical professional, it sends a chilling message: Your health doesn’t matter as much as our profits.

The most insidious part of this system is the message it sends to patients: If you can’t afford the medication you need, maybe you should just consider dying. After all, if the AI has decided that cheaper alternatives are “good enough,” and you can’t afford to pay out of pocket, what other choice do you have?

This dystopian reality is already here. AI is being used to make life-and-death decisions, often without transparency or accountability. And while insurance companies and their shareholders reap the benefits, patients are left to suffer the consequences.

So, ask yourself: Is death right for you? Because if we don’t push back against this system, the AI might just decide that it is.

Let’s not sugarcoat it—this is some stupid, infuriating nonsense, but it’s real. Reports from insiders who understand the inner workings of the insurance industry confirm that something is seriously wrong with the system. And while insurance companies might push back, claiming that all claims are reviewed by humans, let’s be honest: how much effort do you think those humans are actually putting into these reviews?

Since play work at home started with Covid do you think things are better or worse today when you try to contact someone at a company? How many times have you actually spoken with someone in this country where dogs or kids are in the background? Do you really believe that those employees are giving it their all?

Insurance companies love to assure us that every claim denial is carefully reviewed by a human being. But let’s make a bet: how thoroughly are these denials really being examined? Picture this—someone sitting at a desk, half-heartedly scrolling through claims while texting their spouse, checking Instagram, or playing Candy Crush. Do you think they’re giving your life-saving medication claim the attention it deserves? If they were, this kind of crap wouldn’t be happening.

What should be happening is HIPAA Compliance: AI systems must protect sensitive health information and ensure data privacy and security.

“And how was it that all of Baylor Scott And White’s database was hacked, stolen, and everyone’s personal information from medical, SS number, etc, stolen, with the lame statement from them that it happened, and an even lamer …sorry… you should watch your accounts and maybe change a password or something.”

CMS Guidance: The Centers for Medicare & Medicaid Services (CMS) requires that AI not be the sole decision-maker in coverage determinations, mandating human oversight to prevent unjust denials.  That might sound good, but my personal experience was not that. I am still arguing with AI, and it is stuck on, Is, death right for you?”

Bias Prevention and Transparency: AI algorithms must be monitored to avoid bias and ensure fair outcomes. Transparency and explainability are crucial for maintaining trust and regulatory compliance.

Continuous Monitoring: Regular audits and updates are necessary to ensure ongoing compliance with evolving regulations.

The truth is, many of these so-called “human reviews” are likely rubber-stamped approvals of decisions already made by AI algorithms. The human oversight is often a formality, a box to check so the insurance company can claim they’re doing their due diligence. But in reality, the system is designed to prioritize cost-cutting over patient care.

ScienceSoft offers AI-powered claim management systems that can instantly detect and reject fraudulent claims, deliver accurate damage estimates, and provide intelligent recommendations for risk prevention. Their solutions leverage machine learning and other AI technologies to streamline the entire claims process.

Tractable is known for its deep learning and computer vision solutions, which automate the claim cycle, including medical insurance claim verification. Their technology enables remote inspection and instant loss assessment, reducing manual intervention and expediting claim resolution.

Fathom specializes in automating medical coding, a critical component of claim verification. Their AI platform analyzes clinical notes to accelerate billing and ensure accurate claim submissions for healthcare providers.

Keragon provides AI-powered automation for healthcare claims processing, including eligibility verification and claims submission. Their platform reduces manual data entry, accelerates verification, and automates routine administrative work, making it accessible even for non-technical staff.

You could make lots of noise and bitch to your congressman about this, or … pay full price, or… Well…this is just part of what is to come if we don’t push back.

Can we get an AI program that can talk to their AI program and work things out? Maybe #MAHA needs to get involved.

Those politicians who rely on lobbyist money need substantial funds for their campaigns. Who do you think has a better shot of getting treated like they give a shit?

Stay Healthy, My Friends, because AI might consider that death is right for you.

Make sure you sign up for e-mails and follow…you know the drill.  This looks like a subject that needs to be in my book Stupid Shit, which is due to drop soon.  -Best

While some of this content is hyperbole for dramatic effect, the truth is that claims are being reviewed and denied by AI. While I have touched on just the drug aspect of medical claims, one has to wonder how far AI goes in determining your health care.

Who Are You? (The Sarcastic, No-BS Edition)

Who Are You? (The Sarcastic, No-BS Edition)

Let me tell you who I am. I’m the person who spent years in the corporate trenches, leading teams of programmers and professionals, trying to convince them that being themselves wasn’t just some cheesy motivational poster bullshit. You know the one: “Be yourself. Everyone else is taken.” Yeah, that. Except I actually meant it. I told my people to embrace who they were—quirks, flaws, and all—because pretending to be someone else is exhausting. And frankly, most people suck at it anyway.

But here’s the kicker: in today’s world, being yourself is practically a revolutionary act. Why? Because half the country is too busy being spoon-fed propaganda by the fake news machine to even remember who they are. They’re like zombies, but instead of brains, they’re after the next trending hashtag. And don’t even get me started on the other half—they’re too busy arguing with the first half to notice they’re just as lost. It’s a circus, and everyone’s the clown.

In my upcoming book, Stupid Shit (yes, that’s the title, and no, I’m not changing it), I dive into the absurdity of it all. I’ll teach you how to spot the tricks, the traps, and the outright stupidity that keeps people from living authentically. Spoiler alert: it’s everywhere. But hey, at least it’s entertaining.

Why Be Who You Are (Even When Everyone Else Thinks You’re an Idiot)?

Let’s get real for a second. Being yourself is hard. It’s not all sunshine and rainbows and inspirational Instagram quotes. Sometimes, it’s more like standing in the middle of a storm, holding a lightning rod, while everyone around you screams, “Why can’t you just be normal?” But here’s the thing: being yourself is the only way to live a life that doesn’t make you want to punch a wall every morning.

Let me break it down for you:

1. Living Authentically Brings Fulfillment (And Fewer Headaches)

Pretending to be someone you’re not is like wearing a pair of shoes that are two sizes too small. Sure, you might look good for a minute, but eventually, your feet are going to bleed. Living authentically means you stop giving a shit about what other people think and start doing what actually makes you happy. And no, I’m not talking about the kind of “happy” that comes from binge-watching Netflix while eating an entire pizza. I mean the deep, soul-level kind of happy. The kind that makes you wake up and think, “Yeah, I’m killing it.”

2. External Validation Is a Scam (Stop Chasing It)

Here’s a fun fact: no matter how hard you try, you’re never going to make everyone like you. Why? Because people are fickle, judgmental, and often just plain wrong. Chasing their approval is like trying to win a game of Monopoly with no money and no properties—it’s not going to happen, and you’ll just end up flipping the board in frustration. Carl Jung said it best: “The world will ask who you are, and if you don’t know, the world will tell you.” And trust me, the world’s version of you is probably boring as hell.

3. Fake People Attract Fake Friends (And Who Needs That?)

When you’re not being yourself, you attract people who like the fake version of you. And guess what? Those relationships are about as deep as a kiddie pool. When you’re authentic, you attract people who actually like you—flaws, quirks, and all. Sure, it might take longer to find your tribe, but when you do, it’s worth it. Plus, you won’t have to pretend to like pumpkin spice lattes just to fit in. (Unless you actually like them, in which case, carry on.)

4. Your Weirdness Is Your Superpower (Embrace It)

Newsflash: the things that make you different are the things that make you awesome. Trying to fit into someone else’s mold is like trying to shove a square peg into a round hole—it’s awkward, painful, and completely unnecessary. So, you’re a little weird? Good. The world needs more weird. Normal is overrated, and frankly, it’s boring as hell.

5. Rejection Is Inevitable (So You Might as Well Be Yourself)

Here’s the harsh truth: not everyone is going to like you. Some people will think you’re too loud, too quiet, too weird, too whatever. And you know what? That’s fine. Because the people who reject you for being yourself are doing you a favor, they’re clearing the way for the people who actually matter—the ones who will love you for exactly who you are. So, let them go. Bye, Felicia.

At the end of the day, being yourself isn’t just about living authentically—it’s about living without regrets. It’s about looking back on your life and thinking, “Yeah, I did it my way,” instead of, “Why the hell did I spend so much time trying to impress people I don’t even like?” So, stop worrying about what everyone else thinks. Stop trying to fit in. And for the love of all that is holy, stop pretending to like kale. Just be you. The world might not always appreciate it, but trust me, your sanity will.

Don’t forget to subscribe and follow so you can stay updated on my latest posts and be the first to know when and where you can grab your own copy of Stupid Shit.  Despite a misleading title, the product’s humor will keep you laughing while also provoking thought.

-Best