Tag: author

Master Grammarly and ProWritingAid for Flawless Writing

Using Grammarly and ProWritingAid Without Losing Your Mind (Or Your Shit)

Look, we all want to write like some literary genius, but the truth is, most of us end up staring at our screens, screaming internally (or out loud) when that squiggly red line shows up for the tenth damn time. And yet, even with every so-called “miracle tool” at our fingertips, plenty of writers still manage to churn out writing that’s about as polished as sandpaper.

Let’s be real: you can slap Grammarly or ProWritingAid on your Word doc, but if you’re not paying attention, you might still end up with a sentence that makes your high school English teacher weep. Or laugh. Or both.

So why bother with these tools? Because, honestly, they’re the next best thing to having a grammar-obsessed friend reading over your shoulder, minus the heavy sighs and passive-aggressive comments.

Why Even Use These Bloody Tools?

Grammarly and ProWritingAid are like having two very judgmental robots follow you around, pointing out every embarrassing typo, awkward sentence, and the fact that you’ve used “very” eight times in two paragraphs.

They’re here to:

Catch all those dumb little mistakes you swear you didn’t make.

Clean up your sentences so they don’t sound like you just woke up from a nap.

Suggest fancier words, because apparently “good” isn’t good enough.

Keep your tone and style consistent, so you don’t accidentally sound like you’re writing a breakup letter to your boss.

Grammarly is all about real-time nagging and telling you when you sound like an asshole.

ProWritingAid? It’s the tool you call in when you want a detailed report that’ll make you question your life choices and every sentence you’ve ever written.

Getting These Tools Into Word Without Pulling Your Hair Out

Grammarly in Word:

Download the add-in from Grammarly’s site. Easy enough, right?

Install it. If you see a shiny new Grammarly tab, congrats—you didn’t screw it up.

ProWritingAid in Word:

Grab the add-in from their website.

Install and activate it. Yes, you might have to click through some annoying popups.

Log in and prepare to be judged.

Both work on modern versions of Word on both Windows and Mac, so unless your computer is actually powered by a hamster wheel, you should be fine.

Pro Tips: Not Just for People Who Like Pro Tips

Grammarly Hacks:

Turn it on before you start writing. Let it nag you in real time and maybe you’ll make fewer mistakes. Maybe.

Click the underlines for explanations. Sometimes they’re helpful, sometimes you’ll want to scream.

The side panel is where the real action is: grammar, clarity, engagement, delivery—basically, everything you’ve ever done wrong.

Hit that “Goals” button. No one else will, but you should. Set your intent, audience, and all that jazz so Grammarly can judge you more accurately.

Premium lets you check for plagiarism. So if you’re “borrowing” ideas, you might want to see how original you actually are.

If the constant suggestions make you want to throw your laptop, just turn off the damn underlines and review at the end.

ProWritingAid Tricks:

Run full reports. It’s like getting a 10-page essay on why your writing sucks. But hey, it’s thorough.

Use the summary for a quick “here’s what you did wrong” overview.

You can tweak what it checks for. If you’re writing a sci-fi novel, maybe turn off the business jargon checker.

Highlight a word and dive into the thesaurus or word explorer. Because sometimes “nice” just doesn’t cut it.

Want an all-in-one roast? Use the Combo feature and watch your ego deflate in real time.

Only want to check a paragraph? Highlight it, and spare yourself the pain of a full-document critique.

Don’t Be a Robot: Best Practices

Don’t just click “accept” on every suggestion like a zombie. These tools are smart, but they’re not perfect. Sometimes they try to “fix” things that were actually fine.

Take a minute to read the feedback. You might accidentally learn something.

If you really want to cover your ass, run your work through both tools. They’ll catch different stuff, so you can feel extra paranoid.

In Conclusion—Because Apparently You Need One

Grammarly and ProWritingAid are lifesavers, especially if you’re tired of embarrassing yourself in emails and reports. They’re not going to turn you into Shakespeare overnight, but they will save you from some truly cringe-worthy mistakes. Install them, play around, and try not to take their criticism too personally. Your writing will get better, and maybe—just maybe—you’ll stop screaming at your keyboard.

As an added bonus, let me tell you about the comma…

My Love-Hate Relationship With the Stupid Comma

Honestly, one of the most mind-boggling, rage-inducing parts of writing is that damned comma. I swear, I’ve spent more time wondering where to stick the little fuckers than actually writing. And let’s not pretend those fancy tools we talked about earlier are any better—they like to throw commas around as if they’re confetti at a parade. Sometimes it’s helpful, sometimes I wonder if the AI is just screwing with me for fun.

So, here’s the deal. Let me save you some pain and tell you what I’ve actually figured out about commas, despite their best efforts to stay mysterious.

The No-Bullshit Guide to Commas

Let’s make commas a little less terrifying and a lot less random. Here’s what you need to keep in mind:

1. Slap a comma before those little joining words in a compound sentence.

If you’re stringing together two complete thoughts with words like and, but, or, nor, for, so, or yet, throw a comma in before the conjunction.

Example:

I wanted pizza, but I only had ramen. (Honestly, isn’t that just the story of my life?)

2. Use commas in a list, because chaos isn’t cute.

Got three or more things? Separate them with commas. The Oxford comma (the one before “and”) is optional, but seriously, sometimes it saves lives.

She packed sandwiches, chips, soda, and cookies.

(“Let’s eat, Grandma” vs. “Let’s eat Grandma.” Commas: keeping your relatives alive since forever.)

3. Intro? Comma. Always.

If your sentence starts with some kind of intro—like a phrase, word, or clause—give it a comma.

After a long day, I just want to nap.

However, I have work to do.

(Relatable, right?)

4. Extra info? Wrap it in commas like a burrito.

If you’re tossing in some bonus info that isn’t totally necessary, put commas around it.

My neighbor, who always wears pajamas, just mowed the lawn.

But if you actually need that info to make sense of the sentence, skip the commas.

The guy who always wears pajamas just mowed the lawn.

5. If your adjectives are fighting for attention, separate them.

If you can stick “and” between your adjectives and it still sounds right, use a comma.

It was a long, exhausting day.

But don’t overdo it.

He wore a bright yellow shirt. (No comma, because “bright yellow” works together.)

6. Talking to someone? Comma their name.

Direct address means you set off the person’s name with a comma, otherwise you might end up accidentally inviting Tom to be dinner, not to dinner.

Let’s eat, Tom.

Tom, let’s eat.

7. Commas love dates, addresses, titles, and big-ass numbers.

On April 1, 2024, we saw a clown.

She lives at 123 Fake Street, Springfield, Illinois.

My friend Jamie Smith, MD, is here.

The prize was $10,000.

(If only that last one was my life.)

8. Sometimes, commas are just there so shit doesn’t get weird.

If your sentence could be misunderstood, a comma might save the day.

To err, is human. (But let’s be honest, to really mess things up, you need a computer.)

Bonus Round: Don’t Overdo It

Don’t go all Jackson Pollock with your commas. Only use them when you actually need to. Too many commas make your writing look like it’s had one too many drinks.

Quick Recap:

Commas keep your writing from turning into a dumpster fire. They separate ideas, make things clearer, and help your sentences not run together like a bad hangover. If you’re not sure if you need one, read your sentence out loud. If you pause (or if it just sounds weird without it), a comma’s probably your friend.

If you still hate commas after all this, trust me, you’re not alone.

Now go forth and write. Or at least, go forth and make fewer mistakes.

If you found any part of this useful, give us a follow. This shit doesn’t write itself.

If you’re a writer, there are three things you should basically always be doing: writing, editing, or marketing. That’s it. There’s no secret fourth thing, no magical shortcut, and definitely no “just scrolling through Twitter for inspiration” (nice try, though).

So, what am I doing here with this blog post? Well, this counts as marketing. And honestly, I’m also just being a really nice person by sharing it with you. You’re welcome.

#WritingLife
#WriterProblems
#CommaDrama
#EditingStruggles
#WritersOfYou
#GrammarHumor
#WritingCommunity
#AmWriting
#WordNerd
#MarketingForWriters
#SarcasticWriter
#BloggingWriters
#WritingTips
#ProWritingAid
#GrammarlyFail
#IndieAuthorLife
#WritersJourney
#WriteEditRepeat

Effective Book Marketing Strategies for Authors

As the Director of the Carrollton League of Writers, I talk a lot about marketing. Like, a lot. Why? Because, as a writer, you’re basically doing one of three things at any given moment: writing, editing, or trying to convince people to buy the damn thing you wrote. And let me tell you right now: that third one is where dreams go to die.

That’s why I tell people to keep their day jobs. Seriously. Writing is a business, sure, but half the time, it’s just a fancy way to justify a tax write-off. “No, honey, it’s not a failed hobby—it’s a business expense.” And let’s just say most writers aren’t exactly raking in Stephen King-level royalty checks.

But hey, I’m not here to crush your dreams of being the next EL James (although I could). Instead, let me help you out with some marketing tips. Because let’s face it: if you don’t sell your book, nobody’s gonna read it. Well, except for your mom—and even she might “accidentally” forget to finish it.

1. Develop a Book Marketing Strategy

This is step one, folks. Before you do anything else, you need a plan. I know, planning isn’t sexy or fun, but neither is explaining to your friends why your book has been on Amazon for two years and still has zero reviews.

Here’s the deal: set some goals, figure out who the hell you’re writing for (hint: it’s not “everyone”), and decide how you’re going to reach them. A clear marketing strategy will help you avoid wasting time on pointless crap that doesn’t work.

2. Build Your Author Platform

Look, if nobody knows who you are, nobody’s gonna care about your book. That’s where your author platform comes in. It’s basically your online stage—so make sure you don’t look like a total amateur while you’re standing on it.

Create an Author Website: Think of this as your digital home base. It’s where people will go to learn about you, your book, and why they should give you their money. Plus, it’s a great place to collect email addresses for future marketing. (Yes, we’re going to talk about email lists later, so don’t roll your eyes yet.)

Engage on Social Media: This is where you can pretend you’re a celebrity, even if you’re just a writer with 12 followers and a lot of opinions about coffee. Platforms like Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, and TikTok are your friends—if you use them right. Post updates, share behind-the-scenes tidbits, and actually interact with people. Nobody likes a self-promotional robot.

3. Prepare for Launch

Your book launch is a big freaking deal. It’s like a party, except instead of booze and karaoke, you’re hoping people will buy your book and leave nice reviews. So, yeah, slightly less fun, but still important.

Write a Killer Author Bio: This is your chance to convince readers that you’re an actual human being and not some faceless entity who churned out a book because ChatGPT told you to. Be relatable. Be funny. (Or don’t be funny, if that’s not your thing—but at least try to be interesting.)

Build a Launch Team: Gather a group of people who are willing to hype you up. These could be friends, family, or random strangers you bribed with the promise of free copies. They’ll leave early reviews, share your book on social media, and generally make you look like you’ve got a whole squad cheering for you.

Find Reviewers: Bloggers, influencers, that one book nerd you know—they’re all fair game. Reviews matter. A lot. Especially on platforms like Amazon. Without them, your book might as well not exist.

4. Optimize Your Book’s Online Presence

Your book’s online presence is like its dating profile. If it’s boring, confusing, or full of typos, nobody’s swiping right.

Metadata and Keywords: This is the boring part, but it’s super important. Make sure your book’s title, description, and keywords are optimized for search engines. Basically, make it easy for people to find your book when they’re browsing online.

Decide Where to Sell: Amazon is the obvious choice, but you’ve got options. You could go exclusive with Kindle Direct Publishing (and maybe Kindle Unlimited) or distribute your book more widely. Just know that Amazon is kind of like the popular kid at school—if you’re not hanging out there, you’re probably missing out on a lot of attention.

5. Promote Your Book

Here’s where the real hustle comes in. You’ve got to put yourself out there and make people want to read your book.

Leverage Social Proof: Translation: beg readers to leave reviews. The more people are talking about your book online, the more likely it is that others will check it out.

Reach Out for Publicity: Bloggers, podcasters, and media outlets can help spread the word. Guest blogging and podcast interviews are great ways to get in front of new audiences. Plus, you get to feel important for a hot second.

Run Promotions: Discounts, giveaways, limited-time offers—these are all great ways to generate buzz. Everyone loves free stuff, so use that to your advantage.

6. Keep the Momentum Going

Here’s the thing about book marketing: it doesn’t stop after your launch. If you want your book to keep selling, you’ve got to keep working at it. (Yeah, I know. It sucks. Welcome to the grind.)

Build an Email List: Remember when I said we’d talk about email lists? Well, here we are. Use your website and social media to collect email addresses, then send out regular newsletters to keep your audience engaged. Think of it as your personal fan club.

Keep Marketing: Try new things. Experiment. Fail. Learn. And then try again. Marketing is an ongoing process, and the more you do it, the better you’ll get.

Start thinking about marketing before you finish your book. I know, it’s tempting to just focus on the writing and hope people will magically find your work later, but that’s not how it works. The earlier you start planning and building your platform, the better your chances of success.

And hey, if all else fails, at least you can say you gave it a shot. Worst case scenario, you’ve got a great story to tell at parties: “Remember that time I tried to be a famous author? Yeah, that was wild.”

If you want me to dig deeper into any of these steps—or if you just need someone to commiserate with—I’m here for you. Let’s make your book the next big thing (or at least a thing).

#HowToBeAnAuthor
#WriteAndPublish
#MarketingYourBook
#BuildYourAudience
#SocialMediaForAuthors
#BookLaunchPlan
#WritingJourney
#BookMarketing
#BookLaunchTips
#HowToSellBooks
#AuthorPlatform
#BookPromotion
#IndiePublishing
#SellYourBook
#MarketingForWriters
#BookMarketingStrategy

How to Craft a Compelling Author Bio for Your Book

After spending months or even years pouring your heart into writing a book, it’s natural to ask yourself: What else goes into this book to make it complete? Beyond captivating stories or compelling content, one of the key elements that often gets overlooked is the author bio.

The back-of-book biography is your chance to make a memorable first impression on readers. Keep it short, relevant, and engaging. Focus on what makes you the right person to have written this book, and sprinkle in a touch of personality to make it relatable.

Whether you’re a seasoned author or publishing your first book, your bio is an opportunity to connect with your audience, so make it count!

As our writers group, The Carrollton League of Writers, is working on compiling a book of short stories,

I’ve been thinking a lot about author bios. With multiple contributors, we’ve decided to dedicate a “Meet the Authors” section in our book, offering each writer a chance to connect with readers. Even with more space available in this section, understanding the art of crafting a concise, back-of-book author bio is essential.

So, what exactly goes into an author bio for the back of a book? Let’s break it down.

What Is a Back-of-Book Biography?

A back-of-book biography—often called an author bio—is a brief, engaging snapshot of who you are as a writer. It’s designed to introduce you to readers, build a connection, and establish your credibility. This small piece of text can have a big impact on how readers perceive you and your work.

Key Elements of a Back-of-Book Biography

Here’s what to include for a polished, professional author bio:

1. Brevity

Keep it short and sweet. A back-cover bio is typically no more than a sentence or two. There’s no room for your full life story here—focus only on the essentials.

2. Relevant Credentials

Highlight any qualifications, experiences, or achievements that relate to your book. For example:

Are you a former detective writing a crime thriller? Mention it.

Writing about personal finance? Note your professional background in the field.

3. Personal Touch

Include a relatable or humanizing detail, like where you live, a hobby, or a quirky fact. This helps readers connect with you on a personal level.

4. Tone

Match the tone of your bio to the tone of your book.

A humorous book might call for a witty, playful bio.

A serious nonfiction work should strike a professional, polished tone.

5. Current Work or Achievements

If you’ve published other notable works or received awards, this is the place to highlight them. Mention only the most impressive or relevant ones to keep it concise.

6. Call to Action (Optional)

You can include a website, social media handle, or email for readers who want to connect or learn more about you. This is optional but can be a great way to engage your audience beyond the book.

What to Avoid in Your Author Bio

1. Too Much Detail

Save the lengthy biography for the inside of the book or a dedicated “About the Author” page. The back-of-book bio should be quick and to the point.

2. Overshadowing the Book

The bio is there to complement the book, not steal the spotlight. Don’t let it distract from the main event: your writing.

Example of a Back Cover Author Bio

To give you an idea, here’s a simple yet effective example:

Jane Smith is a former marine biologist whose adventures at sea inspired her debut novel. She lives in Seattle with her two cats and a love of coffee.

This bio is concise, includes relevant credentials, adds a personal touch, and matches the tone of the book (which might be a fun, adventure-filled tale).

But what about the Author page? you might ask…

Here’s an example of what a more detailed “About the Author” page might look like, followed by an explanation of how it differs from a back-of-book bio:
About the Author
Jane Smith is a former marine biologist turned novelist who draws inspiration from her years of exploring the oceans. During her career, she spent over a decade researching coral reef ecosystems and leading deep-sea dives, experiences that serve as the foundation for her debut novel, Beneath the Waves.
Jane holds a Master’s degree in Marine Biology from the University of Washington and has published several academic papers on marine conservation. After transitioning from science to storytelling, Jane discovered her passion for weaving gripping adventures with environmental themes, which she hopes will inspire readers to appreciate and protect the natural world.
When she’s not writing, Jane enjoys kayaking along the Pacific Northwest coastline, photographing wildlife, and experimenting with sustainable gardening. She currently lives in Seattle with her two cats, Luna and Neptune, and an ever-growing collection of sea glass.
You can learn more about Jane and her work by visiting her website at http://www.janesmithwrites.com or following her on Instagram at @janesmithwrites.
How a Dedicated About Page Differs from a Back-of-Book Bio
The “About the Author” page is much longer and more detailed compared to a back-of-book bio, and here’s how they differ:

Length and Detail
Back-of-Book Bio: Short and concise—usually just 1-3 sentences meant to give readers a quick introduction to the author.
Example: Jane Smith is a former marine biologist whose adventures at sea inspired her debut novel. She lives in Seattle with her two cats.
About Page: Longer and more comprehensive, allowing the author to go into greater detail about their background, education, career, and personal life.
Purpose
Back-of-Book Bio: Its primary purpose is to establish credibility and give a brief personal touch, helping readers understand why the author is qualified to write the book.
About Page: Designed to provide a fuller picture of the author, including their expertise, motivations, hobbies, and potentially their journey as a writer, creating a deeper connection with the audience.
Tone
Back-of-Book Bio: Matches the tone of the book and is usually professional yet approachable (e.g., witty for a humorous book, formal for serious nonfiction).
About Page: Can be more conversational and personal, giving readers insight into the author’s personality and life beyond the book.
Call to Action
Back-of-Book Bio: Sometimes includes a subtle call to action, like a website or social media handle, but this isn’t always included.
About Page: Almost always includes links to the author’s website, social media, or other works, encouraging readers to engage further.
Audience
Back-of-Book Bio: Targets readers who are deciding whether to purchase or read the book.
About Page: Targets readers who want to learn more about the author after enjoying their book or discovering their work online.
When to Use Each
Back-of-Book Bio: A must-have for any book, as it’s often the first impression readers get of the author.
About Page: Ideal for an author’s website, blog, or even the back matter of a book for readers who want to dive deeper into the author’s life and work.

#WritingCommunity
#AuthorsOfInstagram
#WritersOfInstagram
#AuthorLife
#AuthorBranding
#MeetTheAuthor
#SelfPublishingTips
#IndieAuthors
#BookLovers
#ReaderConnection
#BooksAndAuthors
#HowToWrite

Navigating the Challenges of Writing in the AI Era

I had lunch with a dear friend recently—a lovely person who discovered that writing is, in fact, a business. Yes, a business. Like selling hot dogs or running a laundromat, except with more existential dread and fewer health inspections. Over sandwiches, we discussed the latest in literary absurdity: AI-driven software that can crank out an entire book faster than you can say, “What the actual fuck?” Apparently (and I can’t confirm this, but it sounds stupid enough to be true), Kindle Direct Publishing (KDP) now limits authors to uploading no more than three books a day. Three. A. Day. Because, you know, that’s a totally normal output for a human being and not at all a sign that Skynet is moonlighting as a romance novelist.

Let’s talk about writing a book the way most authors do—or at least the way we used to before AI started pooping out novels like a malfunctioning vending machine. Writing a book used to be a deeply personal, soul-crushing process that required creativity, discipline, and the kind of stubbornness usually reserved for toddlers refusing to eat broccoli. Here’s how it went down in the pre-AI era:

1. Generating Ideas

Back in the day, authors had to rely on their own brains to come up with ideas. No ChatGPT, no Bard, no “AI Muse 3000.” Just raw, unfiltered human creativity. Inspiration came from life experiences, dreams, or that one weird conversation you overheard at Starbucks where someone said, “I don’t care if it’s illegal, I’m marrying the ferret.” Writers carried notebooks everywhere, jotting down ideas like lunatics scribbling manifestos.

For example, when I wrote a book about sailing, I didn’t just Google “how to sail” and call it a day. No, I lived it. I chartered a sailboat, had the crew walk me through the process, and spent the day pretending I was Captain Jack Sparrow (minus the eyeliner and rum). That night, when I lay down in my hotel bed, the room was still swaying. That’s the kind of detail you can’t fake. That’s world-building, baby.

2. Outlining the Story

Once you had an idea, you had to outline it. This was where the real masochism began. You’d map out the plot, develop characters with backstories more complicated than your family drama, and, if you were writing sci-fi or fantasy, create entire worlds with their own rules, languages, and economies. It was like playing God, except no one worshipped you, and you didn’t get a day off.

Some writers “pantsed” their way through the story (a.k.a. winging it like a drunk pilot), while others meticulously planned every chapter. I personally use a beat sheet from Save the Cat, because apparently, I enjoy turning my creative process into a spreadsheet. Nothing says “art” like Excel.

3. Writing the First Draft

Ah, the first draft. The part where you sit down, stare at a blank page, and think, “Why the hell did I decide to do this?” Writing was slow, painful, and required the kind of discipline usually associated with monks or Navy SEALs. You’d aim for a specific word count each day, and if you hit it, you’d reward yourself with chocolate or alcohol—or both.

Writer’s block was a constant companion. Without AI to suggest ideas, you had to push through it on your own. Some people went for walks. Others screamed into the void. I personally found inspiration in coffee, wine, and the occasional existential crisis.

4. Revising and Editing

Once the first draft was done, the real torture began: revising. You’d read your manuscript over and over, catching typos, fixing plot holes, and wondering why your protagonist sounded like a cardboard cutout. Beta readers would give you feedback like, “I didn’t connect with the characters,” or “This part was boring,” and you’d resist the urge to reply, “Well, Karen, maybe you’re boring.”

If you could afford it, you’d hire a professional editor. If not, you’d edit it yourself, which was like performing surgery on your own child. Painful, messy, and guaranteed to leave scars.

5. Research

Research is the necessary evil of writing, especially for non-fiction or historically accurate fiction. It’s the part of the process where you willingly dive headfirst into a rabbit hole of facts, only to emerge hours later wondering why you now know the mating habits of 18th-century pigeons but still haven’t figured out what your protagonist’s name is. Research is both a blessing and a curse—it gives your work depth and believability, but it also makes you question your life choices when you’re Googling things like, “How long does it take for a body to decompose in a swamp?” and praying your internet provider isn’t judging you.

For example, if you’re writing sci-fi, you might find yourself studying quantum physics or emerging technologies, which sounds impressive until you realize you’re just trying to figure out how to explain time travel without sounding like a lunatic. Or, if you’re me, you might Google “how to sabotage an airplane” and then spend the next week convinced that the FBI is about to kick down your door. I mean, imagine it: covert agents taping over your outdoor cameras, RF jamming your phone so you can’t call for help, cutting the power to your house, shooting your dogs (RIP, Fido), and snipers perched in trees a mile away, just waiting for you to answer the door in your pajamas—or, let’s be honest, nude—so they can interrogate you about your questionable search history.

Wait. I never Googled that. Nope. Never happened. But damn, wouldn’t that make a killer chapter in a thriller? Picture it: the protagonist is a writer who accidentally stumbles onto some classified government conspiracy while researching their next book. Suddenly, their innocent Google searches turn into a one-way ticket to paranoia-ville, complete with black SUVs tailing them and mysterious men in suits showing up at their local coffee shop. Someone call Netflix—I think I just wrote their next hit series.

But seriously, research is the backbone of good writing. Whether you’re crafting a historical epic or a sci-fi adventure, you need to know your shit. As Patricia Leslie points out, research is essential for both fiction and non-fiction writers. It helps develop characters, make settings believable, and weave fact and fiction together so seamlessly that readers can’t tell where one ends and the other begins

For non-fiction, accuracy is king. For fiction, it’s more like a benevolent dictator—you can bend the rules a little, but you still need to know what you’re doing.

The trick is to use research as a tool, not a crutch. Sure, you could spend weeks poring over vintage newspapers or interviewing experts, but at some point, you have to stop researching and start writing. Otherwise, you’ll end up with a head full of useless trivia and no book to show for it. And let’s be honest, no one’s going to be impressed that you know the exact dimensions of a 16th-century guillotine unless you actually use that knowledge in your story.

So, to all the writers out there: research responsibly. And maybe clear your browser history every now and then, just in case. You never know when the FBI might decide to pay you a visit.

6. Finding a Publisher

Before self-publishing, authors had to grovel at the feet of literary agents and publishers. You’d write query letters, pitch your book, and wait months for a response, only to get a rejection that said, “Not for us, but good luck!” It was like online dating, except instead of ghosting you, they sent a polite “no.”

7. Marketing and Promotion

Even after all that, the work wasn’t done. Authors had to promote their books like used car salesmen. Book tours, media appearances, social media campaigns—you name it. You’d beg people to buy your book, and they’d say, “I’ll wait for the movie.” Thanks, Aunt Linda.

The AI Problem

Now, thanks to AI, anyone can “write” a book in minutes. But let’s be honest: these programs aren’t writing books; they’re shitting them out. And the result? A flood of mediocre, soulless content clogging up the literary world like a fatberg in a sewer.

I’m all for technology as a tool. Word, Grammarly, ProWritingAid—these are great. But AI-generated books? That’s where I draw the line. I’m pushing for legislation that requires AI-generated books to wear a big, ugly label that says, “This was written by a robot.” Readers deserve to know if the “author” of their favorite romance novel is a human or a glorified toaster.

Final Thoughts

Writing is a job. A hard, thankless, occasionally soul-sucking job. There are days when I stare at my manuscript and think, “Why am I doing this?” But then I remember: because I love it. Because it’s who I am. And because the world needs more books written by real people with real stories to tell.

My book, Stupid Shit, is coming soon. Subscribe today so you can grab a copy when it drops. Trust me, it’ll be worth it. Or don’t. I’m not your mom.

-Best

Show Don’t Tell

‘Show don’t tell’ is one of the foundational principles of writing, emphasizing the importance of vividly illustrating instead of simply stating.

The principle of “show, don’t tell” is a fundamental technique in writing that enhances storytelling by allowing readers to experience emotions and events more vividly. Here are several reasons this approach is effective:
Engages the Reader’s Imagination
When writers show rather than tell, they invite readers to interpret the emotions and actions of characters through descriptive language and sensory details. This engagement encourages readers to visualize scenes and feel emotions alongside the characters, creating a more immersive experience.
Creates Emotional Depth
Showing emotions through actions, dialogue, and body language adds layers to character development. For instance, instead of stating that a character is angry, a writer might describe clenched fists, a flushed face, and a sharp tone of voice. This method allows readers to understand the character’s emotional state more deeply and personally.
Enhances Character Development
Characters become more relatable and realistic when their emotions are demonstrated through their behavior. Readers can infer motivations and personality traits based on how characters react to situations, making them feel more authentic and complex.
Builds Tension and Conflict
By showing rather than telling, writers can create suspense and tension in a narrative. For example, a character’s internal struggle can be illustrated through their actions and decisions, allowing readers to sense the stakes without explicitly stating them. This technique keeps readers engaged and invested in the outcome.
Encourages Reader Interpretation
When writers show emotions and events, they allow readers to draw their own conclusions and interpretations. This active participation can lead to a more rewarding reading experience, as readers connect with the story on a personal level and reflect on its themes and messages.

Here are some basic emotions

Joy – A feeling of great pleasure and happiness.
Trust – A positive emotion characterized by reliance on someone or something.
Fear – An emotional response to perceived threats or danger.
Surprise – A reaction to unexpected events.
Sadness – A feeling of sorrow or unhappiness.
Disgust – A strong feeling of aversion or repulsion.
Anger – A strong feeling of annoyance, displeasure, or hostility.
Anticipation – A feeling of excitement about something that is going to happen.

Detailed or nuanced emotions.

Affection
Amusement
Anxiety
Apathy
Compassion
Confusion
Contentment
Curiosity
Despair
Disappointment
Empathy
Envy
Excitement
Fearfulness
Frustration
Guilt
Hope
Horror
Hostility
Interest
Jealousy
Loneliness
Nostalgia
Pride
Relief
Remorse
Satisfaction
Shame
Surprise
Tenderness
Worry

Examples:
Opening his birthday present, Tim was joyful when he saw the latest video game.

Opening his birthday present, Tim’s face lit up with joy as he saw the latest video game. He eagerly imagined the hours of fun ahead.

Tim was disappointed to learn he would have to wait to play the game until the weekend, as tomorrow was a school day.

The following example may be a bit excessive, but it effectively conveys his disappointment.

As Tim’s face fell, a deep furrow etched itself across his brow. His eyes, which had sparkled with anticipation just moments before, now held a hint of sadness. The corners of his mouth, which had been curved up in a hopeful grin, now turned downward, reflecting the weight of his disappointment. He sighed, a long, slow exhalation that seemed to carry the burden of his unmet expectations.
He stared at the game console, its vibrant colors and intricate graphics now a stark reminder of the fun he would have to postpone. His fingers, which had been itching to wrap around the controller, now drummed a slow, disheartened rhythm against the table.
The room, once filled with the excited chatter of friends eagerly discussing strategies and predicting outcomes, now fell silent, save for the soft ticking of the clock on the wall. The hands moved inexorably forward, marking the passage of time that Tim could not reclaim.
As the reality of his situation sunk in, Tim’s shoulders slumped, and his body language indicated his despondency. He glanced at his friends, their faces a mirror of his own emotions, and then back at the game console. The screen, with its glowing promise of adventure and excitement, now seemed cold and distant, a cruel reminder of the joy that was now out of reach.
With a final, resigned sigh, Tim turned away from the game, his eyes downcast, his heart heavy with disappointment. He knew he would have to wait until the weekend to play, but for now, he could only endure the long, slow hours until then.

Try your hand at it. Pick a couple of the basic emotions, tell the story, and then show the story.

If you want more of these types of interactions, share your thoughts or stories in the comments.

-Best

Unlock Your Writing Potential: Start Your Book Today

When people discover I am an author, they often confess they have always wanted to write a book.

Why haven’t you?

“Well, where do you start?”

Writing a book is a significant undertaking that can be daunting and rewarding.
My personal account likely resembles numerous others. Much like countless individuals who are inclined towards a sedentary lifestyle, I eagerly anticipated and fervently watched a television show that revolved around a subject matter that held deep personal meaning for me. It was a clear case of escapism, and I readily acknowledge and confess to it.
Ever since the disappointing ending of that show, I have abstained from watching television entirely, a habit that has persisted for years.

The cartoon Futurama comes to mind, where a character called Hypnotoad appears on the screen with pulsating eyes. Whether you know the subject, the salient point remains that television has consumed a significant portion of my time. Besides taking up my time, I had to endure an excessive amount of mind-numbing drug advertisements. Ladies and gentlemen, it quickly became evident who controls the media through the advertising dollars urging you to consult your doctor regarding mortality: Big Pharma.
Often, writing a book requires sacrifices.

It requires time alone, not in a dark, dank dungeon but if that inspires the story, I suggest you go with it.
Seriously it is my belief that screen time along with the TV takes more of our time than we would ever care to admit. If you want to create a masterpiece, what are you willing to trade for that creation?
For me, TV was the obvious choice. We are told to write to a seventh-grade education. Do you think in your heart that the TV even makes it a fifth-grade education?
YouTube and TikTok are just as bad. While you can find a diverse number of opinions on streaming services, few, very few, will enlighten you. They engineer emotional triggers for most of them. “You don’t need that. Truly, you don’t.”

If you want your heartstrings tugged on, write about some character doing it.
Read, yes, read the good, the bad, and the horrible so you can tell the difference.
While I could pontificate about big pharma and how they make money treating and not curing you, that is outside the scope of this blog post.

The remarkable thing is that I revised the ending of that show and, as a result, uncovered my writing potential. I not only possessed the ability to write, but I derived glee from it as I maintained control over the narrative, the journey, the characters, and, above all, the result.
Upon discovering that I am an author, individuals often admit to their desire to write a book but express uncertainty regarding the initial steps.

Now that you know a little about me and my philosophy, let’s start with the basics.

We should start by understanding the Writing Process
The process of writing a book is often perceived as a daunting task, especially for novice authors. However, breaking it down into smaller, more manageable sections can make the process more approachable. By conceptualizing your book as an assemblage of concise articles or scenes, you can dedicate your attention to creating a small segment each day, which can later be restructured into a cohesive entity. This approach can help maintain motivation and make the task less overwhelming.
Before starting a book, it’s crucial to understand your motivation and purpose. The reason behind writing your book serves as the cornerstone of your project. Establishing a distinct objective can effectively steer the writing procedure and maintain concentration, whether it is for personal development, introspection, or the dissemination of a narrative.

Writing a book can be a powerful tool for self-reflection and personal growth. It allows you to explore your thoughts and experiences in a structured way, helping to clarify your thinking and examine your values and beliefs. This process can lead to a deeper understanding of yourself and your motivations, making writing a transformative experience.

On this topic, I want to pontificate just a little more. Years ago, I was in a head-on collision with an inebriated son of a bitch. He was old, a known alcoholic and his wife enabled him.
We were at highway speeds, and the story was breathtaking. I wrote that story in Carrollton League of Writers’ first Anthology, The Roads We Take. It is in the very last part of the book. I wanted to title it Oh shit Bang, and the leader of the group didn’t like that language in the book. So, if you get the book and read the story, the title is The Devil’s Rabbit Trail.

Why tell you that?

Since I still suffer from PTSD and pain from that horrible day, this was therapy for me, and I was hoping people who might drink and drive might see it and decide not to mess up someone else’s life, much less their own.
If you want to read more about it, there is a free version on the Reedsy site under my stories. Look for the story called “Why I Write.” I tell you this because it might also resonate with you.
Writing a book requires discipline and commitment. Starting and finishing are both critical steps in the writing process. It’s essential to be disciplined, protect your writing time, and not give up, even when faced with challenges. Embracing the process, including the creation of a ‘bad’ first draft, is essential to produce a polished manuscript, eventually.

Writing fiction can also be a therapeutic tool, allowing you to process emotions and experiences. Writing is a skill that improves with practice, and engaging in regular writing can lead to personal growth and enhanced critical thinking skills.

In future blogs, we will dive into publishing.

I use Reedsy for their contest, which is not so much to win but for $5 to enter a story as a ‘chance’ of winning. I get feedback from others who are serious about writing. I get nothing out of advertising for them. My goal is to help you if you are interested in writing.
My stories on this site are many, and you can read them for free. If you do, please spend a moment commenting. Feedback is why I do this.
Please inform me of your preferences, dislikes, and any additional inquiries that we can address as we proceed.

-Best

The Ubiquitous #Query Letter @badlitagent

(The following is a satirical expression of frustration with the egocentric gatekeepers of the publishing world.)

I am not picking on you @badlitagent, I like your snark.

There are many out there who claim to “know the secret” of how to write the “perfect” query letter.

If you just follow, their simple steps, agents, and publishers alike will seek your manuscript!

“Who believes that?”

I am a writer, I write! When I am writing, I am lost in the story. The characters take on lives of their own and demand that I faithfully capture their personalities and character traits, as well as their actions. The story must be cohesive, that is where I live.

When you find yourself spending more time researching each agent, constructing a query letter, creating a synopsis per their idea of what that is, and first few pages in whatever format that desire, something is wrong.

The actual hell of it is, you are not, repeat not, trying to catch the agent’s attention. They are too wrapped up in their position of power, to bother to read your query letter, much less respond to them. No, they have interns that may be going to college or maybe in high school. Hell, they might have their twelve-year-olds reading them.

(Looking for interns)

“If you like to read certain books that we represent, we will hire you as an intern. You must be able to “read” several query letters, and write a report on each in one sentence or less.”

When researching the agent, this is typical.

“If we don’t respond in eight weeks, consider it a pass.”

How fucking lousy is that! You spend hours crafting the perfect Query letter, and the agent does not have time to respond with a simple form reply..!?

“I want some fucking feedback! Why? What about this letter, or this manuscript, turned you off on the project. What was missing? What one thing if it had would make you excited?”

Some will send you the form letter “Your story is not the kind of material we represent.” Please please please continue to bang your head against the wall though; we like to hear the banging, as it keeps us awake!
(It is what you represent, because I researched your damned site, and your bio, and who you have published thus far, so either you did not read it, or your intern cannot read!)

Here is what I think they mean to say. Allow me to translate this for you.

“If you have a proven track record of selling millions of books, we might consider looking at your manuscript. If you were on the New York Times bestseller list, let us know that too, so we can ask the intern to read more than the title of what you send. We only have time to spend on sure bets. If you are not a famous author, please, do not bother us! I know we say that we are looking for first time authors but we all say that, don’t we? Whatever you have written, it is trash unless we can sell at least a million copies of it, without investing any money or time on it what so ever. As the matter of fact; if you can sell a million copies on your own, just send us 30% and we might be persuaded to have the senior intern look at your next project.”

“If you still want to send us a query letter, use one syllable words so our interns who are either stoned or still in pre-K can understand them. Thanks for your understanding now, go fuck off! And, have a nice day!”

My advice…

You cannot be a one trick pony.

You must have more than one novel in you. Get published in as many places as you can. Whether that be newsletters, magazines, short stories and unfortunately self-publish something. Consider it a giveaway because there is little to no protection for intellectual property rights once you put it on the Internet. There are programs out there that can take Kindle or other types of e-books and turn them into PDF’s so they can be “shared.”

Many write short stories and give them away just to get their “brand” out there.

Truthfully we have no idea what the intern is looking for; it could be word count, Genre, style of writing or eloquent phrases or pixie dust. Since their website does not give us any information on where they went to school or what they like to read, it is a crap shoot!

The bottom line as I see it, you must “be someone” already, to get their attention.

Your thoughts are always interesting to me, feel free to elucidate on your experiences.

Maybe you have an agent that reads his or her own query letters? Tell us about that.

Remember that most of this is satire, with some frustration mixed in.

-Best

Getting Published #writer #author

I write the following from what I have learned thus far on this subject. I would appreciate input from those of you that have made this trip successfully.

Write Well

It cannot be overemphasized enough to write well. I have read many books written by people who were self-published. They wrote their story that they wanted to tell. Not being able to make their fortune from their manuscript, they self-published. They spent the next several months trying to sell enough of their books to re-coop their investment. Not everyone was meant to be a writer or published. If they had read their work more carefully they would have discovered that it was not written well. This leads me to my next thought.

Write for your enjoyment.

The passion that most writers have is not to sell millions of books, just to write. It has been said that if you want to get to know the author, read their book. Take this one-step further. If you want to get to know yourself, who you are…, write a book. When you are reading your story, if you are listening, you will find yourself in your characters. Insight as to who you actually are will come out in their actions and feelings.

If your characters do not have feelings, you need to go back and try again. Sell the story through their actions or feelings.

Which reminds me, do not try to do this for a living, until you are famous. Your sanity might depend upon you being in this world with a day job. We are social creatures, being around people and not in your world of your story all of the time is important. Of this… I speak from experience…

Start out with a bang!

The first few pages sell your book, especially for an unknown. The prologue is a good place to entice the reader to want to know more, than you can build the story after the prologue. Once you become a JK Rowling, than you can let your name (or brand) sell your product.

Be well read

Most successful writers read a lot. While I have read some “flash in the pan” books that were not well written, nor were the authors “well read,” that actually made it. Statistics show that more often than not, books that get published, are from people who were well read.

Have a story that is unique and interesting

Your story should be unique. If it is a rehash of a common situation, there is a good chance it will sit on the circular file cabinet of some publisher, until the janitor makes his or her rounds.

Expect rejection

You must have thick skin to be in this vocation. Your own family may not like what you have written. Do not expect everyone to love it as much as you do. This is your baby, your passion not theirs. As soon as you send it off to someone, start working on something else. One of the publishers that I have been talking with might take a year before they get back to you simply telling you, no thanks!

A Good Agent

First off, agents are about as hard to sell as are publishers themselves. Many folks take up writing as a get rich scheme instead of for the pure passion of writing or telling a story. Agents get a commission for what they do. Never pay someone up front…If the agent is a true agent worth their salt, they will know from your synopsis if this is something that they can sell.

Do lots of research on your agent before signing.

Good agents are available. Locating them through a writers league might be a good idea as the others in the league might have an experience to share.

Finish your work before you think about getting it published

I have spoken with many who get some idea for a book and immediately approach an agent or publisher. “You have nothing to sell, until there is a manuscript of 120,000 words or so in your hands.”

When writing your manuscript do not get hung up on the word count! After the editing process, your 135,000 words might be around 95,000. Somewhere between 100,000 and 120,000 seems to be optimal.

Check your work well before you send it off…

As alluded to in the last point, editing your work is paramount. When you decide to send it off, it should be as good as you could possibly make it. I like to read it aloud although one trick that I found is to have something like “Nuance’s Naturally Speaking” full edition; read it back to me, one paragraph at a time. Your mind will skip over clumsy sentences or bad grammar. The program only reads what it sees so the “you instead of the your” will pop out at you!

Try to get something published in a magazine prior to getting your book published.

This is a great idea for first time writers. Write a short story or several, 5000 words or so and submit it to magazines. If they publish it, they might pay around $500 for the story (one time) but you then can write on your cover sheet…published in…. That is a great way for your manuscript to get more of a look than 3 seconds, of some agent or publishers time.

“What magazine you ask?” What do you write? Sci-Fi… Pick a science fiction magazine and approach them with a story…

Submission guidelines are critical…

Everyone has some idea of what they expect to see when they open your manuscript. I have found double-spaced block type, cover sheet etc… They should have guidelines to follow…follow them not just a little bit, to the letter.

Have a well-written synopsis keeping it to two pages.

This is a problem for writers. You need to tell the complete story, with the ending in 500 words or so…2 pages… Look for guidelines online… Oh yes, it must be written well…

Purchase The Writer’s Market published by Writer’s Digest

Query Letter

Send a query letter even if they say they are currently not accepting. The worst thing that will happen is you wasted a stamp. (One page) Many publishers may say that they do not accept unsolicited manuscripts but truth be told, they all want best sellers. A query letter cost you .50 cents and it might perk their interests.

Sending your manuscript to agents and or publishers should not be with a lot of fanfare. Simply box it “if it fits its ships” or padded envelope and let the post office do it for you. No FED EX nothing like that…Media Mail in fact… Anything else gives the appearance of desperation. “They should be lucky that you have chosen them to publish…” Ok, maybe not but, you get the gist.

Now go back to writing and tell a story….

-Best

Below are a few links that I have found while digging.

http://www.publishersmarketplace.com/

http://agentquery.com/publishing_mp.aspx

https://querytracker.net/whatisqt.php

http://www.writersmarket.com/

https://duotrope.com/

As a favor to me, many of you read and like my posts, which I thank you from the very bottom of my heart. Follow me; share what you see. Thanks!

Writers Block

As a writer, I follow many, talk with several; and listen a lot.

There are those who feel that they must complete 5 pages a day. There are those that don’t.

If you are passionate about it; writing 15 a day or more could be a piece of cake, or a bloody nightmare.

You simply cannot force creativity….

I have crawled out of bed at 3 AM and worked till well past noon the next day, as I was inspired. I have also stopped, and not touched the keyboard when nothing was happening.

There is a flow to the creative process and “external shit” can mess with that flow.

Maybe you don’t feel good, maybe the neighbor or spouse or sibling pissed you off…

Writing and painting to me are one in the same…I am an artist; I paint with oils…I can paint from my head, or from a model, or from a picture…it depends what I am going for.

I can also paint with words. In many cases I am much better with words than oils. My paintings have sold in many different countries, and yet I aspire to invoke emotions through language. Many artist do it through painting, or music, and that is all great and good. While I too play instruments; that is not my passion… I love music but telling a story…Ah…That excites me….!

Tonight I had a block…The story stood still and I sat here… I looked at the words and my characters were frozen. A fluid story stopped … as my creative process stopped….

I walked away…took a long shower and in that shower the next chapter sprang to life as the water danced off my hands and arms and…the rest of me….

Sometimes you simply have to wash the block away…..

Five pages a day….no…..I could force it but it would suck, and be badly created, and poorly read and most probably deleted the next day when I reread it….

You simply cannot force creativity….

-Best

Creative writing II or Happy Place!

So, I get this email regarding “good writing”….

It would seem that many of you liked it but, some “at least one” took issue with the example of the bathroom… 🙂

To me that example was perfect in that you have all heard this before or maybe said it, “Find a bathroom that looks clean.” This is said as you are motoring down the road at some speed at or slightly above posted limits! That phrase or statement always made me chuckle as in, “how the hell do I know if the bathroom will be acceptable to your standards from this distance at this speed?

If you are guilty of this statement, I promise I am not picking on you… I actually know what you mean; as men sometimes must sit too…..

I don’t understand however; why some will not lift the seat to pee and instead, pee all over the seat and leave! It is my fervent wish that all who did or do that have to clean someone else’s pee off of the seat, so they can sit and relieve themselves.

Anyway, enough on my bathroom story.

Creative writing is definitely an art form as I have spoken about in the last post on writing.

I mentioned my happy place.

Before I write, I sometimes will find my happy place, and ponder on it for a while.

My Happy Place

Under a huge tree, up on a hill overlooking the countryside, the sun has risen enough to warm the tall grasses and dry the morning dew that dampened my feet a short while ago as I wondered up the hill to greet the sun from its slumber. The sky is now a cerulean blue, after shifting from its former oranges and yellows; sporting a few wispy clouds, lazily floating by. A slight breeze caresses my face and carries with it the scent of salt water, from the beach down the hill.

In the distance, there are a few people setting up their blankets and umbrellas, as they prepare to spend the day collecting shells, digging their toes into the sand, and watching the seabirds call out to the wind, in eager anticipation of their next meal.

My morning watching the sunrise has ended, I too seek the company of strangers, as well as the feel of the sand between my toes; and the warm water circling between my legs and eventually immersing my body in its warm embrace.

I watch from a distance the young families building sand castles with their children, remembering with fondness the days of doing the same with mine. The sand sticks to my feet up to my ankles as I sit on my lounge, peering into the distant waves as they meet the sky.

A shriek from a young child brings me back to the here and now, as a small crab scuttle’s by the imaginary moat; protecting the castle against all invaders. While the white winged dragons in the sky see the invader as lunch; they too are afraid to get too close to the giants wearing pink frilly armor. They seem interested in the morsel as well. The dragons call out to the giants but to no avail, the invader of the castle has been captured and placed into a small vessel, held by the giants for examination. The giants speak in a language that only they can understand, as it is full of squeals and single syllable utterances that the taller giants seem to understand.

The dragons return to the skies, looking for less protected invaders. The giants quiet down from the excitement. My thoughts once more return to the waves, the clouds dancing above us in a slow waltz, while a ballerina does a slow pirouette in front the spot light, which immediately cools my skin and brings me once again to the here and now.

Looking around, I see more families and others like myself who are there to simply enjoy the beach. Some come as couples and others by themselves, and of course there are those with stories in paper format to lose their selves into, while allowing the sun to warm parts of them that rarely is seen by the sun, much less others.

Very soon, their openness comforts me, as my attention turns back to act II: the ballerina morphs into a butterfly! The other dancers on stage also morph into dogs, and rabbits, and even a shark! The audience calls out to them, as they too perform amazing acts of aerobatics, not be outdone by the vaporous ghost of the sky.

The spotlight is now bright upon me, and the others who have joined me. The smell of coconuts and other potions punctuates the fluidity of my thoughts. I decide to lay on my tummy and allow the sun to tan my back for a while, as I drift off into a deep slumber, with the sounds of the ocean, the birds and the children to lull me into another world, where my thoughts are not constrained by anything physical. The sounds actually guide my imagination to other worlds, occasionally bringing me back to this one, as I take stock of my own lotions, and my growing desire for food as somebody has decided to light a grill.

I too must return to the real world, and it is this grill and the thought of a sizzling parcel of meat that drives me to sober from my thoughts, wipe the now dried sand from my feet, and leave this paradise for other adventures, in other realities.

May you too find your happy place, and revere in its existence. When in the real world your happy place is always there, look for it. It might be in the small flowers attached to tiniest of plants, or simply above you; inviting you to take part as they too dance and entertain.

-Best