Tag: love

“From ‘You Shithead’ to ‘Have a Nice Life’: A Journey in Self-Restraint”

Hey, happy Sunday night, wherever the hell you might be. So, I’ve been way too glued to social media lately. Honestly, people are losing their minds out there. Half of them are raging about TDS, and the other half look like they’d gladly watch the world burn if it meant kicking Trump out. It’s like everyone’s main hobby is being pissed off at each other. Grab some popcorn, because apparently, this is the new national sport.

Let me introduce you to something I like to call the “you shit head letter.”

Let me tell you about something I’ve perfected over the years. I call it the “you shit head letter.” It’s not trademarked or anything, but it damn well should be. The concept is simple: whenever some insufferable asshole—like the kind who makes you question if they share DNA with a brick wall—pushes you to the edge, you don’t respond right away. Nope. You take a deep breath, resist the urge to hit “send,” and instead, you write the most cathartic, profanity-laden masterpiece you’ve ever created. This isn’t just any letter. Oh, no. It’s a literary middle finger wrapped in words.

Let me tell you how this whole thing works. First, I write. And then, I write some more. Seriously, by the time I’m done, I’ve practically written a novella—just to explain, in excruciating detail, how fucking stupid someone is. And then, when I think I’ve exhausted every creative insult in the English language? I keep writing. Because why not?

Then what? Do I send it? Oh, hell no. I save it. Somewhere on my OneDrive, there’s a folder of these masterpieces. And honestly, I wouldn’t be surprised if some government spy is sitting in front of a monitor right now, reading my rants and laughing their ass off. That’s fine. Laugh it up, buddy. Just don’t publish it, or I will absolutely sue under copyright law. I might be petty, but I’m not stupid.

Anyway, once I’ve exorcised the stupidity-induced rage from my system, I sleep on it. And when I wake up—calmer, slightly less homicidal—I go back and read the letter. That’s when I follow a little exercise in self-restraint that I like to call THINK.

Here’s how it works:

T: Is it the Truth?

H: Is it Honest?

I: Is it Inspiring?

N: Is it Necessary?

K: Is it Kind?

And let me tell you, the “You Shithead” letter absolutely fails this test. Every single time.

Is it the truth? Oh, most definitely.

Is it honest? You bet your ass it is.

Is it inspiring? Uh…no. Unless you consider inspiring someone to cry into their pillow a win.

Is it necessary? It felt like it last night, but in the cold light of day? Probably not.

Is it kind? Fuck no. It’s the opposite of kind. It’s downright savage.

So yeah, the “You Shithead” letter never sees the light of day. But damn, does it feel good to write.

But guess what I didn’t do?

Yeah, start a war with someone I disagreed with.

There is common ground out there. Somewhere. Probably buried under all the bullshit we keep piling on top of it. The problem is, we’d need to stop tripping over our own egos long enough to actually look for it. And let’s be real, that’s not exactly humanity’s strong suit. Here’s the kicker, though: searching for common ground? Not sexy. Not flashy. It doesn’t go viral, it doesn’t rack up likes, and it definitely doesn’t make you the star of some TikTok rant. You know what does get attention? Being a keyboard warrior.

Social media has basically turned us all into part-time gladiators, except instead of swords, we’re armed with shitty opinions, zero accountability, and a Wi-Fi connection. And let’s face it—it’s so much easier to call someone a moron online than to actually have a real conversation. Who needs nuance when you can just drop a snarky comment and rack up some imaginary internet points? Nuance takes effort. Snark is instant. And honestly, it’s addicting. You hit “post” and BAM—you’re a hero in your own head, even if you’re just shouting into the void.

But here’s where it all goes to shit. This constant stream of digital venom isn’t just harmless venting. It’s like dumping gasoline on a fire that’s already out of control. We’re not just creeping toward the edge of some global catastrophe, we’re practically sprinting toward a full-blown war with each other. Not, like, a nation-against-nation war. No, this is worse. It’s a war where empathy, understanding, and basic human decency are the first casualties. And for what? So you can roast someone who used the wrong “your/you’re” on Facebook?

So yeah, common ground exists. But finding it means doing the one thing most people on the internet absolutely refuse to do: shutting the fuck up. It means resisting the urge to win every argument, humiliate every stranger, and prove you’re smarter than some random person you’ve never even met. It means pausing for a second and remembering that behind every screen is another flawed, messy, probably-overcaffeinated human being. Just like you.

I’ve got a lot of people on my social media. If you’re on my “friends list,” odds are pretty good I’ve met you, shaken your hand, and wouldn’t mind grabbing a drink with you if the stars aligned. I mean, I don’t just friend random strangers—I save that kind of recklessness for impulse Amazon purchases and gas station sushi.

Now, writers? Writers are some of the most wildly diverse people I know. And by diverse, I mean they can range anywhere from “delightful conversationalist” to “I need a drink to survive this interaction.” I remember one left-wing loon in particular. Trying to find common ground with her was like trying to convince a cat to take a bath—it just wasn’t happening. In the end, the best I could do was agree that we both have red blood. That’s it. That’s all we had in common.

I have no idea where she was born, where she grew up, or what series of life events convinced her that she was right about absolutely everything and the rest of us were just walking disasters. But hey, she probably thought the same thing about me. That’s the fun of it, right?

At the end of the day, when we parted ways, we both managed to wave goodbye—using all of our fingers, mind you, not just the middle one. And that’s the point. The thing worth noting here is this: it’s not about agreeing on everything. The real effort, the thing that makes us human and keeps us from tearing each other apart, is striving to find common ground. Even if that ground is just, “Well, at least we’re both technically alive.”

Here’s one last piece of advice I’d offer, and it’s this: try arguing the issue from the other person’s point of view. No, seriously. Give it a shot. Pretend you’re them and make the case for whatever it is they’re so passionate about. Like, why 64 million abortions is biblical, or totally fine, or falls under “my body, my choice.” Hell, even try arguing why abortion up to the ninth month is perfectly acceptable.

Now, let me be clear—any sane person is probably going to struggle (read: fail spectacularly) at making a convincing argument for something they fundamentally disagree with. And honestly, you might not get very far. But here’s the thing: I’ve found it’s a pretty effective learning experience to at least try to see where the other person is coming from. Even if their logic feels like it was cooked up on a rusty waffle iron.

And if that doesn’t work? If, after all your mental gymnastics, you still can’t find a shred of common ground or even a glimpse of understanding? Well, that’s when you break out the trusty “you shit head letter.” Write it all down, every insult, every “how the hell do you function in society” thought that crosses your mind. Don’t hold back. But—this is key—don’t send it. Sleep on it.

Then, when you come back to it the next day, edit it down to a simple, “Bless your heart, have a nice life.” Trust me, it’s the perfect mix of passive-aggressiveness and closure. Plus, it saves you the headache of a long, drawn-out argument that neither of you is ever going to win.

While I’m sitting here typing this, just remember: this shit doesn’t write itself. Seriously. So how about throwing me a little love? A like, a share, maybe even a follow if you’re feeling generous. And hey, a comment wouldn’t hurt either—bonus points if it’s not spam or you telling me I’m wrong about something.

In case you didn’t know, I’m an author. And while this blog post was fun to write, let’s not kid ourselves—it’s also marketing. Gotta keep the hustle alive, right?

Anyway, have a great week next week. Or don’t. I’m not your boss.

-Best

#YouShitheadLetter
#SocialMediaRage
#KeyboardWarriorsUnite
#CommonGroundOrBust
#BlessYourHeart
#PassiveAggressive101
#RantTherapy
#DontHitSend
#ArgueBetter
#SocialMediaMeltdown
#ThinkBeforeYouPost
#FlawedButHuman
#WritingIsTherapy
#LetItOutDontSendIt
#WritersWithSnark
#StopKeyboardWars
#NuanceMatters
#StayPettyStayCalm
#InternetArgumentsSuck
#ShitDoesntWriteItself

The Power of Neighborly Love in Today’s World

Can we sit a spell and talk?

This post is quite different from my previous post about my latest novels.

I’ve been thinking a lot about family, friends, and the folks whom I care about, some of whom live a few doors down. For the last nine months, it seems like people are mad at things none of us can control, and that anger spills onto the people right beside them—at home, at school, and especially online.

I miss the days of front-porch talks after church, your great‑grandmother’s fried chicken and lemonade, and the squeals of kids on the swings and that dizzy old merry‑go‑round. I miss running through the sprinkler as a child and chasing fireflies with a mason jar after dark—when just holding someone’s hand could make your heart flutter. You might not be there yet with those feelings—and that’s okay. One day you’ll understand. For now, just know there was a sweetness to those simple moments.

I blame social media and information overload for much of this. There are those who wish to control the narrative by spreading evil, yes, evil, through ignorance, both spewed by them and by those who are unwilling to see the hate for what it is, propaganda.

These days, it feels like there’s a different kind of bug going around—not a sickness of the body, but of the heart. I see rooms full of people, all together, and yet most eyes are glued to a screen. The trouble isn’t just social media itself; it’s that anyone, no matter their maturity, can throw words into the wind. Some of those words can poison minds and hearts. There are folks who know how to push your buttons—fear, anger, outrage—because those spread fastest. Love doesn’t trend as easily, have you noticed?

It’s Sunday for me—a day to pause and remember what can get lost without a little refresher. I saw some posts today that weren’t thought through, and it nudged me to share this: in a world of fences, passwords, and polarized feeds, being a good neighbor is a quiet revolution. Jesus put it simply: love your neighbor as yourself (Matthew 22:39). He also taught us to pray, “Forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us” (Matthew 6:12). That gets real when your “neighbor” has hurt your feelings or crossed a line.

Why be neighborly—even to someone who offends you

It shows God’s heart: He is kind even to the ungrateful (Luke 6:35–36).

It breaks the get‑even cycle: overcome evil with good (Romans 12:21).

It frees your heart from bitterness (Ephesians 4:31–32).

It points people to the good news: like the Good Samaritan did (Luke 10:25–37).

It helps whole communities heal (Matthew 5:9).

What neighborly love is not

Not excusing harm. Wrong is still wrong (Isaiah 5:20).

Not boundary‑free. Guard your heart; rebuild trust slowly (Proverbs 4:23).

Not enabling. Restore gently, don’t permit harm (Galatians 6:1).

Not against justice. Accountability can be loving (Micah 6:8; Romans 13:1–4).

Not always reconciliation. Forgiveness takes one; reconciliation takes two (Romans 12:18).

A simple path for everyday misunderstandings

Start with your heart: pray for a clean heart and for the other person by name (Psalm 51:10; Matthew 5:44). Ask, “What’s my part?” (Matthew 7:3–5).

Choose a gentle tone: a soft answer turns away anger (Proverbs 15:1; James 1:19).

Talk privately and plainly. Example: “I want to be good neighbors. When the music’s loud after 10 p.m., I can’t sleep. Could we set quiet hours?”

Offer forgiveness: name the hurt and release the debt to God (Colossians 3:13). You may need to forgive more than once as feelings pop back up.

Seek solutions, not victory: small, practical compromises help everyone.

Ask for help if needed: bring one or two trusted people to mediate (Matthew 18:15–16).

Keep doing small kindnesses: a wave, a shared tomato, a hand with a bin (1 Peter 3:9).

Habits that grow a neighborly life

Pray for your street by name as you walk (Jeremiah 29:7).

Create regular touchpoints: porch time, a seasonal potluck, or a simple group chat for practical updates.

Be first to apologize: “I was short yesterday. I’m sorry.”

Serve together: pick up litter, organize a meal train, check on elders.

Keep short accounts: handle small irritations kindly and early (Ephesians 4:26–27).

Words you can borrow

To start: “I want a good relationship as neighbors. Could we talk about something on my mind?”

To share impact: “When X happens, Y is the impact for me. Can we find a solution that works for both of us?”

To forgive: “I was hurt by what happened. I choose to forgive you. Let’s move forward with clearer boundaries.”

To set a boundary: “I care about being good neighbors. I need X to feel safe. If X can’t happen, I’ll need to do Y.”

Scripture anchors

Love your neighbor: Matthew 22:37–39

Forgive as forgiven: Matthew 6:12; Ephesians 4:32; Colossians 3:13

Peacemaking and enemy‑love: Matthew 5:9, 38–44; Romans 12:17–21; 1 Peter 3:9

Gentle correction: Galatians 6:1; Matthew 18:15–17

Compassion in action: Luke 10:25–37

Do justice, love mercy, walk humbly: Micah 6:8

A short prayer Lord, make me a neighbor after Your heart. Give me courage to seek peace, grace to forgive, wisdom to set good boundaries, and love that overcomes evil with good. Make our street a place of safety, kindness, and hope. Amen.

A simple next step this week

Do one neighborly act: a hello at the mailbox, a thank‑you note, a bag of garden produce, or a text to set up a friendly chat.

Name one hurt you’re holding before God and choose to forgive. If it’s wise and safe, begin a gentle conversation.

Loving neighbors who trespass isn’t naïve—it’s following Jesus. It’s steady, courageous love that tells the truth, keeps boundaries, seeks justice, and keeps working for peace. And when your day comes to chase fireflies with someone who makes your heart flutter, I hope you’ll bring that same kind of love to your friendships and your neighborhood. I’m cheering you on.

Who Are You? (The Sarcastic, No-BS Edition)

Let me tell you who I am. I’m the person who spent years in the corporate trenches, leading teams of programmers and professionals, trying to convince them that being themselves wasn’t just some cheesy motivational poster bullshit. You know the one: “Be yourself. Everyone else is taken.” Yeah, that. Except I actually meant it. I told my people to embrace who they were—quirks, flaws, and all—because pretending to be someone else is exhausting. And frankly, most people suck at it anyway.

But here’s the kicker: in today’s world, being yourself is practically a revolutionary act. Why? Because half the country is too busy being spoon-fed propaganda by the fake news machine to even remember who they are. They’re like zombies, but instead of brains, they’re after the next trending hashtag. And don’t even get me started on the other half—they’re too busy arguing with the first half to notice they’re just as lost. It’s a circus, and everyone’s the clown.

In my upcoming book, Stupid Shit (yes, that’s the title, and no, I’m not changing it), I dive into the absurdity of it all. I’ll teach you how to spot the tricks, the traps, and the outright stupidity that keeps people from living authentically. Spoiler alert: it’s everywhere. But hey, at least it’s entertaining.

Why Be Who You Are (Even When Everyone Else Thinks You’re an Idiot)?

Let’s get real for a second. Being yourself is hard. It’s not all sunshine and rainbows and inspirational Instagram quotes. Sometimes, it’s more like standing in the middle of a storm, holding a lightning rod, while everyone around you screams, “Why can’t you just be normal?” But here’s the thing: being yourself is the only way to live a life that doesn’t make you want to punch a wall every morning.

Let me break it down for you:

1. Living Authentically Brings Fulfillment (And Fewer Headaches)

Pretending to be someone you’re not is like wearing a pair of shoes that are two sizes too small. Sure, you might look good for a minute, but eventually, your feet are going to bleed. Living authentically means you stop giving a shit about what other people think and start doing what actually makes you happy. And no, I’m not talking about the kind of “happy” that comes from binge-watching Netflix while eating an entire pizza. I mean the deep, soul-level kind of happy. The kind that makes you wake up and think, “Yeah, I’m killing it.”

2. External Validation Is a Scam (Stop Chasing It)

Here’s a fun fact: no matter how hard you try, you’re never going to make everyone like you. Why? Because people are fickle, judgmental, and often just plain wrong. Chasing their approval is like trying to win a game of Monopoly with no money and no properties—it’s not going to happen, and you’ll just end up flipping the board in frustration. Carl Jung said it best: “The world will ask who you are, and if you don’t know, the world will tell you.” And trust me, the world’s version of you is probably boring as hell.

3. Fake People Attract Fake Friends (And Who Needs That?)

When you’re not being yourself, you attract people who like the fake version of you. And guess what? Those relationships are about as deep as a kiddie pool. When you’re authentic, you attract people who actually like you—flaws, quirks, and all. Sure, it might take longer to find your tribe, but when you do, it’s worth it. Plus, you won’t have to pretend to like pumpkin spice lattes just to fit in. (Unless you actually like them, in which case, carry on.)

4. Your Weirdness Is Your Superpower (Embrace It)

Newsflash: the things that make you different are the things that make you awesome. Trying to fit into someone else’s mold is like trying to shove a square peg into a round hole—it’s awkward, painful, and completely unnecessary. So, you’re a little weird? Good. The world needs more weird. Normal is overrated, and frankly, it’s boring as hell.

5. Rejection Is Inevitable (So You Might as Well Be Yourself)

Here’s the harsh truth: not everyone is going to like you. Some people will think you’re too loud, too quiet, too weird, too whatever. And you know what? That’s fine. Because the people who reject you for being yourself are doing you a favor, they’re clearing the way for the people who actually matter—the ones who will love you for exactly who you are. So, let them go. Bye, Felicia.

At the end of the day, being yourself isn’t just about living authentically—it’s about living without regrets. It’s about looking back on your life and thinking, “Yeah, I did it my way,” instead of, “Why the hell did I spend so much time trying to impress people I don’t even like?” So, stop worrying about what everyone else thinks. Stop trying to fit in. And for the love of all that is holy, stop pretending to like kale. Just be you. The world might not always appreciate it, but trust me, your sanity will.

Don’t forget to subscribe and follow so you can stay updated on my latest posts and be the first to know when and where you can grab your own copy of Stupid Shit. Despite a misleading title, the product’s humor will keep you laughing while also provoking thought.

-Best

The Power of Embrace

Unveiling the Transformative Benefits of Hugging

Yes, hugs play a significant role in our emotional and physical well-being. Hugs provide comfort and support, especially during difficult times. When someone is facing challenges, a hug can help reduce their stress levels and make them feel more supported. This physical touch fosters a sense of connection and reassurance.

Hugging stimulates the production of oxytocin. This hormone not only helps to ease stress but also promotes feelings of bonding and connection between individuals. Also, hugging releases other hormones like dopamine and serotonin, enhancing mood and overall mental health.

Regular hugging can lead to various health benefits, including improved heart health. It has been shown to lower blood pressure and reduce the risk of heart disease. The act of hugging can also help mitigate the effects of high-stress hormones, which are linked to many health issues.

Hugs are a powerful way to strengthen social bonds. They can enhance feelings of closeness and intimacy in relationships, contributing to higher self-esteem and improved mental health.

Not only is hugging like the old song “I want to buy the world a Coke and live in harmony,” but think about how we lead by example. What we do in our homes has long-term effects on our progeny. They watch us as parents. Much like sponges, the nut doesn’t fall far from the tree.

Hugging plays a crucial role in children’s emotional, cognitive, and physical development.

Hugging provides children with a sense of security and comfort. This physical affection helps to foster emotional resilience, allowing children to better manage stress and anxiety. Research shows that hugs can effectively reduce tantrums and promote calm, essential for emotional regulation during early development.

Hugging stimulates the release of oxytocin, a hormone that not only enhances bonding but also supports brain development. This hormone can promote the release of growth hormones vital for cognitive development. Children who receive regular hugs may experience enhanced brain growth and improved learning capabilities.

Regular hugging can boost a child’s immune system, making them less susceptible to illness. Studies show that the physical touch of hugging reduces inflammation and promotes overall health, especially important during childhood development. This nurturing behavior contributes to a child’s physical well-being, allowing them to thrive.

Hugging is a powerful way to enhance the emotional bond between parents and children. This connection fosters trust and security, which are foundational for healthy relationships. Children who feel loved and secure are more likely to develop positive self-esteem and social skills.

We are role models for our children.

Witnessing their parents express affection through hugging teaches children about the importance of physical touch in relationships. It sets a positive example of how to show love and support, helping them understand that affection is a natural and healthy part of human interaction.

Seeing their parents hug can create children’s sense of safety and security. This physical expression of love reinforces the idea that their parents are emotionally connected and supportive of each other, which can help children feel more secure in their own relationships.

Children who witness affectionate interactions between their parents are more likely to develop strong emotional intelligence. They learn to recognize and express their own emotions, as well as understand the feelings of others. This exposure to positive emotional expressions can lead to higher self-esteem and better social skills.

When children see their parents hugging, they are likelier to engage in similar affectionate behaviors. This can lead to a nurturing atmosphere where children feel comfortable expressing love and care towards their peers and family members, fostering healthy relationships throughout their lives.

All too often we see children from families of stoic parents become stoic adults, thus making relationships rife for marriage counselors and rocky starts.

Some people might dismiss demonstrativeness as they think back and remember they hugged their spouse or child recently, but it might have been weeks or months ago that they were actually there for the hug, if at all.

If you think about the different behaviors of some cultures, you might fit into that category.

Cultural expressions of affection, including physical touch like hugging, vary significantly across different societies. Here’s a breakdown of cultures that tend to be more demonstrative versus those that are less so:

Many Latin American, Mediterranean, and Middle Eastern societies are often characterized as more demonstrative. In these cultures, physical expressions of affection, such as hugging, kissing, and holding hands, are common and socially accepted. For example, in countries like Brazil and Italy, people frequently greet each other with hugs and kisses, reflecting a warm and open approach to interpersonal relationships. These cultures value emotional expressiveness and view physical touch as vital to social interaction.

In contrast, cultures considered less demonstrative include many East Asia and Northern European societies. For instance, in countries like Japan and Finland, there is often a greater emphasis on personal space and restraint in physical expressions of affection. In these cultures, public displays of affection may be viewed as inappropriate or uncomfortable. People may hint at their feelings, relying on verbal communication or non-verbal cues rather than physical touch.

As we enter a period of life where health comes from the drug store via big pharma, one must wonder how much of the medicine prescribed today could be rendered mute with a few changes in our social mores and diet.

Are you there for the hug?

The intention behind a meaningful hug is crucial. People give hugs purposefully, whether to celebrate a joyous occasion, comfort someone in distress, or express affection. This intentionality enhances the emotional impact of the hug, making it a memorable and significant experience.

A meaningful hug typically lasts longer than a quick greeting. It involves a genuine embrace where both parties engage fully, often accompanied by a gentle squeeze or a soft pat on the back. This prolonged contact can deepen feelings of connection and intimacy.

While a meaningful handshake might suffice upon meeting someone for the first time, graduating to a hug over consecutive meetings will undoubtedly go a long way towards cementing that friendship for years to come.

Just some food for thought.

Yes, I’m an author. I’m currently juggling several exciting projects. One delves into the mystical world of magic, while another explores the dark and thrilling world of a forensic assassin, a project filled with suspense and unexpected twists. Stay tuned.

-Best

Thanks for the hug!

Why are hugs important?

Hugs are part of a more complex subject, “Love Language.”

Recognizing and understanding love languages can significantly improve relationships. It helps partners communicate their needs more effectively and fosters a deeper emotional connection. When both partners understand each other’s love languages, they can express love in ways that resonate most with one another, leading to greater satisfaction and harmony in the relationship.

Love language doesn’t stop in your home. In our increasingly social world, we tell people we barely know happy birthday. How does social media affect the fabric of the human condition?

I want to discuss five different aspects of the love language. I want to focus on the fifth one specifically.

Words of Affirmation: This language involves expressing love through verbal compliments, encouragement, and affirming words. People who resonate with this love language feel valued when they hear kind words.
Acts of Service: For some, actions speak louder than words. This love language emphasizes doing things for your partner, such as helping with chores or running errands, to show care and support.
Receiving Gifts: This language is about giving thoughtful gifts that show you are thinking of someone. It’s not about the monetary value but the sentiment behind the gift that matters.
Quality Time: This love language focuses on giving your partner undivided attention. Spending meaningful time together without distractions is crucial for those who value this form of love.

I want to expand on this form of expressing love. Without going into a lengthy explanation, let’s talk about what it means to be “without distractions.” Kindly disable the phone and store away any other electronic devices. When I say quality time, I truly mean it. You are important to me, and I truly want to hear about what’s happening in your life. How many times have you interrupted or been interrupted by something on some electronic leash? Have you done it to people? Are you guilty of putting them in some lower class of person by elevating a Facebook post or reel? It’s important to put them first, period.

Physical Touch: For many, physical affection such as hugs, kisses, and holding hands is essential. This love language emphasizes the importance of physical closeness in expressing love.

The first four are self-explanatory, and we can accomplish many of them through social media. We can also do the opposite through an unkind word. I have told many people never to drink and drive and never to drink and get on social media. While you might not kill someone on social media, your words can cut like knives (yeah, I know it was in a song), and the damage your thoughtlessness can do is far-reaching.

What about physical touch?”

Not that many years ago, I topped a hill at freeway speeds to meet head-on with a drunk guy in a Cadillac that his wife had just bought him because he promised to stop drinking after he drove his truck into a tree. True story…you can read about it here…

Beeping monitors, wires, and tubes mixed with needles, and the sterile odor of a hospital is only part of the process. The thought of never being held or holding someone again sets the stage for an emotional roller coaster.

To live through an experience like that makes one appreciate life and its simple pleasures.

Why physical touch, why hugs?

The truth is you have no idea what someone else is going through. People don’t fake depression, they fake happiness. When you ask someone how they are doing and they say “fine,” do you buy it? We are all going through stuff. We also know that when someone asks us how we are doing they rarely want to know the truth.

“Fine great. Did you see the Cowboys?”

“What if we asked, “No, really…how are you doing, and then listened?”

A simple hug can do that. I care about you and I don’t know what you are going through but this hug is my way of showing…not telling you…that I care about you. If you need an ear or a shoulder, I am here.” Would the world be so much better if we showed more people that we care about them?

Are we that kind of friend? So, why hug?

Hugs play a significant role in our emotional and physical well-being. Here are some key reasons why hugs are important:

1. Emotional Connection

Hugging fosters a sense of connection and belonging. It communicates feelings of safety, love, and support, which can be especially comforting during difficult times. This emotional bond is crucial for mental health, as it helps reduce feelings of loneliness and isolation.

2. Physical Health Benefits

Research indicates that hugging can have tangible health benefits. For instance, it promotes the production of oxytocin, often referred to as the “love hormone,” which acts as a stress buffer and can enhance overall well-being. Additionally, frequent hugging has been linked to reduced severity of infections, highlighting its role in bolstering the immune system.

3. Stress Reduction

Hugs can significantly lower stress levels. The act of hugging can help ease feelings of anxiety and depression by boosting the release of feel-good hormones, which can improve mood and emotional resilience.

4. Pain Relief

Interestingly, hugging may also help reduce physical pain. Touch, including hugging, is a powerful form of communication that can convey comfort and support, potentially leading to a decrease in pain perception. Were you aware that your state of mind has an effect on your general health?

True story time:

We had a blood drive at work. One of my employees got a call from them telling her to check with her doctor, something wasn’t right with her blood. This girl had never missed work and was always up. She was delightful in every way. Two weeks after she got the news that she had cancer, she died. Her brain shut her down.

What if she had positive support from just a few hugs? There are cancer centers that focus on treating the whole body, not just the disease. I believe in something I call PMA or a positive mental attitude. There is scientific evidence that your mind is powerful. How could we develop more PMA in people we know? It’s like the butterfly effect, ripples in a pond. The media for whatever reason wants us at each other throats, scared of everything. Would hugs be the middle finger to the talking heads stoking fear and hatred? I think it would be worth a try. Whatever happened to Flower Power?

Did you know there are different types of hugs?

Hugs come in various forms, each conveying different emotions and meanings. Here are some common types of hugs and what they typically signify:

Bear Hug A bear hug is a strong, enveloping embrace that conveys warmth and affection. It often signifies a deep emotional connection and is typically shared between close friends or loved ones.
Side Hug In a side hug, two people stand next to each other and wrap one arm around the other. This type of hug is often seen as more casual and can indicate friendship or comfort without being overly intimate.
Romantic Hug This hug is characterized by a close embrace, often with bodies pressed together. It signifies romantic feelings and intimacy, typically shared between partners.
Back Hug A back hug occurs when one person hugs another from behind. This type of hug can express protection, affection, and surprise, often making the person being hugged feel cherished and secure.
Polite Hug A polite hug is usually brief and may occur in social situations where a more formal greeting is appropriate. It often lacks the emotional depth of other hugs and is more about social etiquette.
Comforting Hug This hug is given to provide support and reassurance during tough times. It is often longer and more enveloping, conveying empathy and understanding.
Group Hug A group hug involves multiple people coming together for a collective embrace. It signifies unity, friendship, and shared joy, often seen in celebrations or moments of camaraderie.
Lift Hug In a lift hug, one person lifts the other off the ground while hugging. This playful gesture often signifies excitement and joy, commonly seen in romantic relationships or among close friends.

I am all for meaningful hugs. The gift of a hug, a genuine hug, is worth more than just about anything you can think of. When we draw our last breath, everything that we own stays behind—all the money, cars, collections, clothes, friends, all of it.

What do you take with you?

I pray we take the memories of the kindnesses we were shown.

The Mormons believe they group around their family members. That is one reason they are so adept at genealogy. I guess they want to know who is waiting for them.

The love language of kindness, touch, empathy, and caring for another person is a selfless act and a treasure that one takes with them, I hope.

Always resolve conflicts before going to sleep and make a point to express appreciation to your loved ones. Nothing compares to the impact of a warm embrace over verbal communication.

What if we incorporate the phrase in our daily walk, “I may not agree with you, but I love you anyway?”

Words to think about.

-Best