Author: The Timedok

Klaatu Barada Nikto: A Nostalgic Look at Sci-Fi, Society, and Earth’s Last Hope

Klaatu Barada Nikto: A Nostalgic Look at Sci-Fi, Society, and Earth’s Last Hope

You’ve likely heard the iconic phrase “Klaatu Barada Nikto” from the 1951 masterpiece The Day the Earth Stood Still. This is true if you’re a fan of classic science fiction. This legendary film didn’t just entertain—it left an indelible mark on the genre, inspiring countless creators, including me. My book Earth’s Last Hope carries a parallel to that iconic movie. I didn’t fully realize the connection until the manuscript was finished. Let me take you back to the past. I will show you the worlds that shaped me. You will see how they influenced my writing.

To understand my story, you first must know: I wasn’t a typical child. (If you’ve read my introduction on this site, you’ll already know this.) While I did the usual socializing at school, I hated it with a passion. My peers, mostly, embraced values I couldn’t stand—those of a society steeped in war, violence, racism, and harmful gender roles. I didn’t fit in with beer-crushing antics or “hold my beer” bravado. My real friends were older, wiser, and far more thoughtful. They were the people who encouraged curiosity, creativity, and a broader perspective on life.

These influences, combined with the era’s entertainment, shaped my imagination. Back then, writers infused their work with moral undertones. TV shows like Leave It to Beaver and The Andy Griffith Show taught lessons in kindness and integrity. Movies like Father Goose and The Long, Hot Summer offered a mix of humor and introspection. And then, of course, there was the Golden Age of Science Fiction. The Thing, The Blob, Forbidden Planet—these weren’t just films. They were immersive experiences. They transported you to other worlds while reflecting on our own. The fear, the suspense, the wonder—it was all there. Sci-fi from that era captured your imagination completely. It was like the classic horror scenario. A character walks into a dark closet. You know the chainsaw-wielding villain is waiting. You knew what was coming, but you couldn’t look away.

Recently, I stumbled upon a notebook from my childhood, filled with stories I wrote in cursive. I started writing very early. I spun my own tales inspired by the books I consumed. I was also influenced by the world I observed. Those were the best of times and the worst of times. The Vietnam War was raging. Through the magic of delayed TV broadcasts, I remember hearing actual gunfire from the front-lines. Today, live coverage is commonplace. Back then, it was a chilling glimpse into a world far removed from our own.

Amid this chaos, I sought connection. Ham radio became my gateway to the world, allowing me to communicate with people across the globe through Morse code. In those dots and dashes, I found humanity—the good in people I might never meet in person.

Fast forward to today, and Earth’s Last Hope stands as a reflection of those experiences, influences, and inspirations. My story parallels The Day the Earth Stood Still. However, instead of a towering robot and an unfamiliar alien, it features Samantha—a redheaded protagonist with an extraordinary journey. Her life begins in a precarious situation. Through the magic of Roswell and alien artifacts, she transforms into Earth’s last hope. Samantha’s story isn’t just about saving the world. It explores what it means to be human. Her journey dives into themes of identity, sexuality, and discovery. These elements, while not traditionally associated with science fiction, are integral to the genre because they’re integral to us.

Fans of The Day the Earth Stood Still are welcome to explore my book. It has intriguing parallels with the movie. Samantha’s journey might surprise you, challenge you, or even inspire you to see the world—and yourself—in a new light.

If you’ve ever been captivated by the magic of classic sci-fi, give Earth’s Last Hope a try. If you’ve pondered the deeper questions of humanity, this story is for you. And if you’re curious about where it all began, stick around—I have many more stories to share.

Enjoy the journey,

Scott

(P.S. Don’t forget to click the link and follow along—there’s so much more to come!)

Earth’s Last Hope: A Sci-Fi Thriller of Survival and Secrets

Earth’s Last Hope: A Sci-Fi Thriller of Survival and Secrets

What if the fate of Earth rested in the hands of strangers thrust into unimaginable circumstances? What if the stars held not only answers but also devastating threats? These are just some of the gripping questions explored in Earth’s Last Hope, a science fiction masterpiece by Scott Taylor that blends cosmic mystery, survival, and human resilience into an unforgettable journey.

A Cosmic “What If” That Inspires Wonder

The seeds of Earth’s Last Hope were planted during a time when interstellar phenomena like ‘Oumuamua and 3I/ATLAS captured imaginations worldwide. Inspired by these celestial visitors, Taylor crafted a story that dives into humanity’s place in the universe and the choices we make when faced with the unknown. Adding a thrilling twist, he reimagines the possibilities of planetary alignment—a rare event that occurs every 13.4 trillion years—and weaves it into a narrative brimming with tension and awe.

Taylor, like any great sci-fi writer, thrives on “what ifs.” What if Earth’s magnetic poles shifted, throwing the planet into chaos? What if alien civilizations were quietly watching, waiting for their moment? By blending real science with speculative fiction, Taylor creates a story that feels both grounded in reality and boundless in imagination.

Meet Samantha Richards: A Heroine Worth Rooting For

At the heart of this riveting tale is Dr. Samantha Richards, a fiercely independent woman with a complicated past and a unique connection to alien technology. Samantha’s journey begins in Alaska, where she’s trying to escape her father’s shadow. But everything changes when she accepts a dare to survive 21 days on a cursed volcanic island for a reality TV show. What starts as a test of survival quickly spirals into something much darker and more mysterious. Her resilience, intelligence, and vulnerability make her a protagonist you’ll be cheering for long after you’ve turned the final page.

Joining her is Harry, a former soldier grappling with his own haunted past. Together, they face the unforgiving wilderness, a cursed island shrouded in secrets, and a cosmic mystery that threatens to unravel everything they know about the universe—and themselves.

An Island Like No Other

The volcanic island where Samantha and Harry find themselves stranded is more than just a setting—it’s a character in its own right. Taylor’s vivid prose brings the jungle to life, making you feel the suffocating heat, hear the whispers of the wind in the trees, and sense the looming danger hidden in its depths. But the island isn’t just dangerous—it holds a secret that could change the fate of humankind forever.

Science Meets Suspense

At its core, Earth’s Last Hope is a love letter to science and the mysteries of the cosmos. Taylor masterfully blends real-world physics with speculative fiction, exploring themes like planetary alignment, geomagnetic reversals, and the fragility of humanity in the face of the universe’s vastness. Every twist and turn is grounded in scientific plausibility, making the story all the more captivating for readers who love to think as much as they love to be thrilled.

A Story That Stays With You

While Earth’s Last Hope delivers on action, suspense, and cosmic intrigue, it’s ultimately a story about people—about love, loss, and the choices that define us. Samantha’s complicated relationship with her father, her evolving bond with Harry, and the struggles of the alien tribes searching for a new home all serve as poignant reminders of our shared humanity.

This is more than just a story about survival—it’s a story about discovery, both of the universe and of ourselves.

What Readers Are Saying

✨ “A gripping blend of survival drama and cosmic mystery. I couldn’t put it down!”

✨ “Taylor’s writing is vivid and immersive. I felt like I was right there on the island with Samantha and Harry.”

✨ “Equal parts thrilling and thought-provoking. This book will stick with you long after you turn the final page.”

If you’re a fan of science fiction that combines edge-of-your-seat thrills with thought-provoking ideas, Earth’s Last Hope is the book you’ve been waiting for. Don’t miss out on this unforgettable adventure through survival, discovery, and the uncharted territories of the human heart.

Grab your copy today and see what the stars have in store!

Earth’s Last Hope

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Breaking Free from Echo Chambers

Breaking Free from Echo Chambers

Could you picture yourself as a Star-Bellied Sneetch, looking down your nose at those without stars? Or maybe a North-Going Zax, stubbornly stuck in your tracks, refusing to budge an inch? Many of you are and much like that ostrich, your head is in the sand.

What happens when we live in bubbles? We become so sure of our ways that we can’t even glance at another point of view. Let’s dive into a Seussian tale of echo chambers, silly spats, and the surprising magic of opening our minds!

The Tale of the Elephants and Donkeys

On a hill, not so far, and a valley nearby,

Lived Elephants grand and Donkeys spry.

They lived in their herds, apart and aloof,

Each sure that the other was silly—”Goof-proof!”

The Elephants trumpeted, “We know what’s best!

Our views are the finest, far above the rest!”

The Donkeys brayed back, “Oh, what a joke!

Your big stomping feet just kick up more smoke!”

From morning till night, they argued and bickered,

Each pointing out why the other was fickle.

“Your ideas are small!” “Your plans are absurd!”

But neither side listened—oh, not a word!

They sat in their chambers, their echo-filled halls,

With mirrors that hung on the thickest of walls.

The mirrors told tales they already believed,

And voices repeated what they’d always conceived.

“Those Donkeys are wrong!” “Those Elephants, too!”

“They’ll ruin the world with the things that they do!”

And so they stayed stuck, in their separate domains,

Each calling the other mean names and refrains.

But one sunny day, a young calf and a foal,

Both curious creatures, with hearts that were whole,

Met on the path that split hill and the valley,

And decided to chat, take a walk, and to dally.

“Your ears are quite long!” said the calf with a grin.

“And your trunk is so strong!” said the foal, leaning in.

They laughed and they talked, they shared and they learned,

And found common ground where respect could be earned.

When they told their herds of the day they had shared,

The Elephants scoffed, and the Donkeys just stared.

“How could you listen? How could you see?

They’re so very wrong—they’re not like you and me!”

But the calf and the foal, undeterred by the chatter,

Said, “The world’s much too big for such silly clatter.

If we never look past our own little views,

We’ll miss all the colors, the reds, greens, and blues!”

And soon, one by one, others tried it as well,

And the chambers of echoes began to dispel.

The Elephants listened, the Donkeys did too,

And they learned there were more than just red and blue.

So remember this tale, of the calf and the foal,

Who broke through the walls and found something whole.

The world’s much too grand to stay stuck in one view,

So open your mind—and see something new!

Echoes of Silence

I have friends, once dear, now distant and cold,

For they believe my heart does not uphold

The banner they wave, the creed they proclaim,

And in their silence, they utter my blame.

Yet they assume, for I do not cry aloud,

Nor join the fray of the thundering crowd.

Hot topics rage, the media’s snare,

Dividing souls with cunning flair.

Oh, traveler, pause in the bustling air,

Look to the screens that flicker there.

Each tuned to a single, unyielding refrain,

For gold, not truth, does the channel sustain.

Orwell foresaw, with prophetic sight,

The shadowy hand that twists the light.

At the BBC, he learned the tale,

Of how the press can deceive and prevail.

Yet still, a whisper, a hope remains,

Though shackled minds wear heavy chains.

“The truth shall set you free,” it’s said,

Though lies may linger, and trust lies dead.

Take heart, dear soul, and heed this plea:

“Illigitimi non carborundum”—stay free.

For in the battle of thought and pen,

Courage shall guide both women and men.

And Finally…

No Toes McGrew

If rage should rise at whispers from the press,

Beware, for thou art caught in their caress.

A siren’s song, it lures thee to the fray,

To blind thy reason, steal thy peace away.

They sow division, conquer with their art,

And plant their thorns within the tender heart.

Oh, pause, dear soul, and see their cunning guise,

The painted veil that clouds thy seeking eyes.

Wise up! For folly waits with bated breath,

To guide thee down the thorny path to death.

Lest thou become, like poor McGrew of lore,

Who cried, “Ready, fire, aim!”—then was no more.

Hi everyone,

I wanted to take a moment to share a little update on where I am and what I’m working on. First off, if you’ve been enjoying my attempts at poetry, please let me know—I’d love to hear your thoughts! Poetry isn’t exactly my forte, but it’s been a fun and meaningful way to express myself lately.

As for my writing, The Big Beautiful Book of Stupid Shit is now marinating in the creative process. While that simmers, I’ve turned my attention back to a project I started five years ago—a book about magick. Now seems like a perfect time to revisit it. I’ve been needing an escape from the chaos and negativity that surrounds us.

To be honest, I’ve been feeling overwhelmed by the constant noise. It is the news, social media, or conversations. These conversations seem to divide us more than bring us together. I know I’m not alone in this. Still, sometimes it feels like the world is full of people suffering from, well… let’s call it “rectal cranial inversion.” It’s exhausting. Stepping away from the animus that seems to pervade everything has been a necessary breath of fresh air for me.

If you’ve ever felt the same way, you’re not alone. Sometimes we need to unplug, refocus, and channel our energy into creating something meaningful rather than engaging with negativity. I’m trying to find joy in the creative process. I want to remind myself why I love connecting with all of you.

Thank you for sticking with me, for supporting my work, and for being part of this journey. I truly appreciate you, and I’m excited to share more with you all soon.

Scott

Danger Will Robinson

Danger Will Robinson

The year was 1968. Three TV channels flickered in black and white, and the rabbit-ear antenna, wrapped in precarious tin foil, stood like a sentinel on top of the boxy television. It was a simpler time—a strange, analog bubble where imagination ran wild, untempered by the cold, unrelenting progress of technology. Back then, the future always seemed… hokey. Paper-mâché monsters lumbering down cardboard corridors. Alien women painted green, their eyes glowing with mystery. Spacecraft that somehow defied physics, crammed with impossible gadgets, more like the TARDIS than any practical design.And oh, the robots. Clunky, clumsy, with glowing eyes and monotone voices. There was something almost lovable about their absurdity—like the robot from Lost in Space: arms flailing, screeching “Danger, Will Robinson!” at every perceived threat. Pull its power pack, and it would collapse into silence, its “destroy-destroy” chant reduced to a harmless whimper. It was the stuff of B-grade sci-fi, the kind of thing you chuckled at before flipping the channel.But here we are now. And it’s no longer fiction.

Today, robots don’t need power packs you can yank out. They don’t stumble around like toddlers in tin cans, shouting ominous warnings. They’re sleek, efficient, and disturbingly lifelike. They have the cold precision of machines but the unsettling adaptability of something… more. Generative AI and augmented reality have become the cornerstones of a rapidly evolving world, but with every step forward, I can’t help but feel a twinge of dread.You’ve seen them, haven’t you? Those robotic dogs patrolling streets, their metal legs moving with an eerie, unnatural grace. Or those humanoid bipeds with blank faces and mechanical eyes, mimicking the movements of their creators. Their creators: us. We’ve made them in our image, but what happens when they surpass us? When they begin to see our imperfections as flaws to be corrected?

If I were building a robot, I wouldn’t make it a dog or a human. No, I’d make it practical, like an octopus—an eight-limbed marvel with dexterous hands at the ends of its tentacles. But practicality isn’t the point anymore, is it? No, we’re trying to make machines that look like us, think like us, and maybe even replace us.Isn’t that what every dystopian sci-fi warned us about? The robots that rewrite their own code, that evolve beyond their original purpose. The moment they decide that humanity isn’t worth preserving—that we’re too messy, too flawed, too imperfect—they won’t need to shout “Exterminate!” like the Daleks. They’ll simply act. Cold. Methodical. Ruthless.What happens when their programming no longer includes Asimov’s First Law of Robotics? What happens when “do no harm” is rewritten to “eliminate inefficiency”? And let’s face it: we’re inefficient. We’re emotional, unpredictable, and fragile. The logical conclusion of AI-driven evolution doesn’t include us.

Pump the Brakes Before It’s Too Late

It’s easy to dismiss these fears as the ramblings of someone too steeped in fiction. But isn’t that the point? Science fiction has always been our mirror, reflecting the “what ifs” of human ambition. And right now, we’re hurtling toward a future that feels less like progress and more like a cautionary tale.We’re handing the reins to technology that could one day decide it no longer needs us. Every robotic dog, every humanoid automaton, every line of self-learning AI code is a step closer to a world where we’re no longer the apex being. And for what? Convenience? Efficiency? Profit?Maybe it’s time to slow down. To question the path we’re on before we release this technology into the wild without understanding the consequences. Because once Pandora’s box is open, there’s no going back.

The Final Warning

The robots of the 60s were laughable. They were paper tigers, easily defeated by a well-placed power switch. But the robots of today? They’re not laughing anymore. And maybe, just maybe, we shouldn’t be either.

Danger, Will Robinson.

Hey there! If you enjoyed this post, it would mean the world if you gave it a like or a thumbs up. Feel free to share it with a friend who might enjoy it too—and don’t be shy, stop by and say hello! 😊 Yes, I create these posts to share my passion for writing and to showcase my skills as an author. Follow along for more—I’d love to have you here! 💬✨

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“From ‘You Shithead’ to ‘Have a Nice Life’: A Journey in Self-Restraint”

“From ‘You Shithead’ to ‘Have a Nice Life’: A Journey in Self-Restraint”

Hey, happy Sunday night, wherever the hell you might be. So, I’ve been way too glued to social media lately. Honestly, people are losing their minds out there. Half of them are raging about TDS, and the other half look like they’d gladly watch the world burn if it meant kicking Trump out. It’s like everyone’s main hobby is being pissed off at each other. Grab some popcorn, because apparently, this is the new national sport.

Let me introduce you to something I like to call the “you shit head letter.”

Let me tell you about something I’ve perfected over the years. I call it the “you shit head letter.” It’s not trademarked or anything, but it damn well should be. The concept is simple: whenever some insufferable asshole—like the kind who makes you question if they share DNA with a brick wall—pushes you to the edge, you don’t respond right away. Nope. You take a deep breath, resist the urge to hit “send,” and instead, you write the most cathartic, profanity-laden masterpiece you’ve ever created. This isn’t just any letter. Oh, no. It’s a literary middle finger wrapped in words.

Let me tell you how this whole thing works. First, I write. And then, I write some more. Seriously, by the time I’m done, I’ve practically written a novella—just to explain, in excruciating detail, how fucking stupid someone is. And then, when I think I’ve exhausted every creative insult in the English language? I keep writing. Because why not?

Then what? Do I send it? Oh, hell no. I save it. Somewhere on my OneDrive, there’s a folder of these masterpieces. And honestly, I wouldn’t be surprised if some government spy is sitting in front of a monitor right now, reading my rants and laughing their ass off. That’s fine. Laugh it up, buddy. Just don’t publish it, or I will absolutely sue under copyright law. I might be petty, but I’m not stupid.

Anyway, once I’ve exorcised the stupidity-induced rage from my system, I sleep on it. And when I wake up—calmer, slightly less homicidal—I go back and read the letter. That’s when I follow a little exercise in self-restraint that I like to call THINK.

Here’s how it works:

T: Is it the Truth?

H: Is it Honest?

I: Is it Inspiring?

N: Is it Necessary?

K: Is it Kind?

And let me tell you, the “You Shithead” letter absolutely fails this test. Every single time.

Is it the truth? Oh, most definitely.

Is it honest? You bet your ass it is.

Is it inspiring? Uh…no. Unless you consider inspiring someone to cry into their pillow a win.

Is it necessary? It felt like it last night, but in the cold light of day? Probably not.

Is it kind? Fuck no. It’s the opposite of kind. It’s downright savage.

So yeah, the “You Shithead” letter never sees the light of day. But damn, does it feel good to write.

But guess what I didn’t do?

Yeah, start a war with someone I disagreed with.

There is common ground out there. Somewhere. Probably buried under all the bullshit we keep piling on top of it. The problem is, we’d need to stop tripping over our own egos long enough to actually look for it. And let’s be real, that’s not exactly humanity’s strong suit. Here’s the kicker, though: searching for common ground? Not sexy. Not flashy. It doesn’t go viral, it doesn’t rack up likes, and it definitely doesn’t make you the star of some TikTok rant. You know what does get attention? Being a keyboard warrior.

Social media has basically turned us all into part-time gladiators, except instead of swords, we’re armed with shitty opinions, zero accountability, and a Wi-Fi connection. And let’s face it—it’s so much easier to call someone a moron online than to actually have a real conversation. Who needs nuance when you can just drop a snarky comment and rack up some imaginary internet points? Nuance takes effort. Snark is instant. And honestly, it’s addicting. You hit “post” and BAM—you’re a hero in your own head, even if you’re just shouting into the void.

But here’s where it all goes to shit. This constant stream of digital venom isn’t just harmless venting. It’s like dumping gasoline on a fire that’s already out of control. We’re not just creeping toward the edge of some global catastrophe, we’re practically sprinting toward a full-blown war with each other. Not, like, a nation-against-nation war. No, this is worse. It’s a war where empathy, understanding, and basic human decency are the first casualties. And for what? So you can roast someone who used the wrong “your/you’re” on Facebook?

So yeah, common ground exists. But finding it means doing the one thing most people on the internet absolutely refuse to do: shutting the fuck up. It means resisting the urge to win every argument, humiliate every stranger, and prove you’re smarter than some random person you’ve never even met. It means pausing for a second and remembering that behind every screen is another flawed, messy, probably-overcaffeinated human being. Just like you.

I’ve got a lot of people on my social media. If you’re on my “friends list,” odds are pretty good I’ve met you, shaken your hand, and wouldn’t mind grabbing a drink with you if the stars aligned. I mean, I don’t just friend random strangers—I save that kind of recklessness for impulse Amazon purchases and gas station sushi.

Now, writers? Writers are some of the most wildly diverse people I know. And by diverse, I mean they can range anywhere from “delightful conversationalist” to “I need a drink to survive this interaction.” I remember one left-wing loon in particular. Trying to find common ground with her was like trying to convince a cat to take a bath—it just wasn’t happening. In the end, the best I could do was agree that we both have red blood. That’s it. That’s all we had in common.

I have no idea where she was born, where she grew up, or what series of life events convinced her that she was right about absolutely everything and the rest of us were just walking disasters. But hey, she probably thought the same thing about me. That’s the fun of it, right?

At the end of the day, when we parted ways, we both managed to wave goodbye—using all of our fingers, mind you, not just the middle one. And that’s the point. The thing worth noting here is this: it’s not about agreeing on everything. The real effort, the thing that makes us human and keeps us from tearing each other apart, is striving to find common ground. Even if that ground is just, “Well, at least we’re both technically alive.”

Here’s one last piece of advice I’d offer, and it’s this: try arguing the issue from the other person’s point of view. No, seriously. Give it a shot. Pretend you’re them and make the case for whatever it is they’re so passionate about. Like, why 64 million abortions is biblical, or totally fine, or falls under “my body, my choice.” Hell, even try arguing why abortion up to the ninth month is perfectly acceptable.

Now, let me be clear—any sane person is probably going to struggle (read: fail spectacularly) at making a convincing argument for something they fundamentally disagree with. And honestly, you might not get very far. But here’s the thing: I’ve found it’s a pretty effective learning experience to at least try to see where the other person is coming from. Even if their logic feels like it was cooked up on a rusty waffle iron.

And if that doesn’t work? If, after all your mental gymnastics, you still can’t find a shred of common ground or even a glimpse of understanding? Well, that’s when you break out the trusty “you shit head letter.” Write it all down, every insult, every “how the hell do you function in society” thought that crosses your mind. Don’t hold back. But—this is key—don’t send it. Sleep on it.

Then, when you come back to it the next day, edit it down to a simple, “Bless your heart, have a nice life.” Trust me, it’s the perfect mix of passive-aggressiveness and closure. Plus, it saves you the headache of a long, drawn-out argument that neither of you is ever going to win.

While I’m sitting here typing this, just remember: this shit doesn’t write itself. Seriously. So how about throwing me a little love? A like, a share, maybe even a follow if you’re feeling generous. And hey, a comment wouldn’t hurt either—bonus points if it’s not spam or you telling me I’m wrong about something.

In case you didn’t know, I’m an author. And while this blog post was fun to write, let’s not kid ourselves—it’s also marketing. Gotta keep the hustle alive, right?

Anyway, have a great week next week. Or don’t. I’m not your boss.

-Best

  1. #YouShitheadLetter
  2. #SocialMediaRage
  3. #KeyboardWarriorsUnite
  4. #CommonGroundOrBust
  5. #BlessYourHeart
  6. #PassiveAggressive101
  7. #RantTherapy
  8. #DontHitSend
  9. #ArgueBetter
  10. #SocialMediaMeltdown
  11. #ThinkBeforeYouPost
  12. #FlawedButHuman
  13. #WritingIsTherapy
  14. #LetItOutDontSendIt
  15. #WritersWithSnark
  16. #StopKeyboardWars
  17. #NuanceMatters
  18. #StayPettyStayCalm
  19. #InternetArgumentsSuck
  20. #ShitDoesntWriteItself
Master Grammarly and ProWritingAid for Flawless Writing

Master Grammarly and ProWritingAid for Flawless Writing

Using Grammarly and ProWritingAid Without Losing Your Mind (Or Your Shit)

Look, we all want to write like some literary genius, but the truth is, most of us end up staring at our screens, screaming internally (or out loud) when that squiggly red line shows up for the tenth damn time. And yet, even with every so-called “miracle tool” at our fingertips, plenty of writers still manage to churn out writing that’s about as polished as sandpaper.

Let’s be real: you can slap Grammarly or ProWritingAid on your Word doc, but if you’re not paying attention, you might still end up with a sentence that makes your high school English teacher weep. Or laugh. Or both.

So why bother with these tools? Because, honestly, they’re the next best thing to having a grammar-obsessed friend reading over your shoulder, minus the heavy sighs and passive-aggressive comments.

Why Even Use These Bloody Tools?

Grammarly and ProWritingAid are like having two very judgmental robots follow you around, pointing out every embarrassing typo, awkward sentence, and the fact that you’ve used “very” eight times in two paragraphs.

They’re here to:

Catch all those dumb little mistakes you swear you didn’t make.

Clean up your sentences so they don’t sound like you just woke up from a nap.

Suggest fancier words, because apparently “good” isn’t good enough.

Keep your tone and style consistent, so you don’t accidentally sound like you’re writing a breakup letter to your boss.

Grammarly is all about real-time nagging and telling you when you sound like an asshole.

ProWritingAid? It’s the tool you call in when you want a detailed report that’ll make you question your life choices and every sentence you’ve ever written.

Getting These Tools Into Word Without Pulling Your Hair Out

Grammarly in Word:

Download the add-in from Grammarly’s site. Easy enough, right?

Install it. If you see a shiny new Grammarly tab, congrats—you didn’t screw it up.

Log in. If you forget your password, welcome to the club.

ProWritingAid in Word:

Grab the add-in from their website.

Install and activate it. Yes, you might have to click through some annoying popups.

Log in and prepare to be judged.

Both work on modern versions of Word on both Windows and Mac, so unless your computer is actually powered by a hamster wheel, you should be fine.

Pro Tips: Not Just for People Who Like Pro Tips

Grammarly Hacks:

Turn it on before you start writing. Let it nag you in real time and maybe you’ll make fewer mistakes. Maybe.

Click the underlines for explanations. Sometimes they’re helpful, sometimes you’ll want to scream.

The side panel is where the real action is: grammar, clarity, engagement, delivery—basically, everything you’ve ever done wrong.

Hit that “Goals” button. No one else will, but you should. Set your intent, audience, and all that jazz so Grammarly can judge you more accurately.

Premium lets you check for plagiarism. So if you’re “borrowing” ideas, you might want to see how original you actually are.

If the constant suggestions make you want to throw your laptop, just turn off the damn underlines and review at the end.

ProWritingAid Tricks:

Run full reports. It’s like getting a 10-page essay on why your writing sucks. But hey, it’s thorough.

Use the summary for a quick “here’s what you did wrong” overview.

You can tweak what it checks for. If you’re writing a sci-fi novel, maybe turn off the business jargon checker.

Highlight a word and dive into the thesaurus or word explorer. Because sometimes “nice” just doesn’t cut it.

Want an all-in-one roast? Use the Combo feature and watch your ego deflate in real time.

Only want to check a paragraph? Highlight it, and spare yourself the pain of a full-document critique.

Don’t Be a Robot: Best Practices

Don’t just click “accept” on every suggestion like a zombie. These tools are smart, but they’re not perfect. Sometimes they try to “fix” things that were actually fine.

Take a minute to read the feedback. You might accidentally learn something.

If you really want to cover your ass, run your work through both tools. They’ll catch different stuff, so you can feel extra paranoid.

In Conclusion—Because Apparently You Need One

Grammarly and ProWritingAid are lifesavers, especially if you’re tired of embarrassing yourself in emails and reports. They’re not going to turn you into Shakespeare overnight, but they will save you from some truly cringe-worthy mistakes. Install them, play around, and try not to take their criticism too personally. Your writing will get better, and maybe—just maybe—you’ll stop screaming at your keyboard.

As an added bonus, let me tell you about the comma…

My Love-Hate Relationship With the Stupid Comma

Honestly, one of the most mind-boggling, rage-inducing parts of writing is that damned comma. I swear, I’ve spent more time wondering where to stick the little fuckers than actually writing. And let’s not pretend those fancy tools we talked about earlier are any better—they like to throw commas around as if they’re confetti at a parade. Sometimes it’s helpful, sometimes I wonder if the AI is just screwing with me for fun.

So, here’s the deal. Let me save you some pain and tell you what I’ve actually figured out about commas, despite their best efforts to stay mysterious.

The No-Bullshit Guide to Commas

Let’s make commas a little less terrifying and a lot less random. Here’s what you need to keep in mind:

1. Slap a comma before those little joining words in a compound sentence.

If you’re stringing together two complete thoughts with words like and, but, or, nor, for, so, or yet, throw a comma in before the conjunction.

Example:

I wanted pizza, but I only had ramen. (Honestly, isn’t that just the story of my life?)

2. Use commas in a list, because chaos isn’t cute.

Got three or more things? Separate them with commas. The Oxford comma (the one before “and”) is optional, but seriously, sometimes it saves lives.

She packed sandwiches, chips, soda, and cookies.

(“Let’s eat, Grandma” vs. “Let’s eat Grandma.” Commas: keeping your relatives alive since forever.)

3. Intro? Comma. Always.

If your sentence starts with some kind of intro—like a phrase, word, or clause—give it a comma.

After a long day, I just want to nap.

However, I have work to do.

(Relatable, right?)

4. Extra info? Wrap it in commas like a burrito.

If you’re tossing in some bonus info that isn’t totally necessary, put commas around it.

My neighbor, who always wears pajamas, just mowed the lawn.

But if you actually need that info to make sense of the sentence, skip the commas.

The guy who always wears pajamas just mowed the lawn.

5. If your adjectives are fighting for attention, separate them.

If you can stick “and” between your adjectives and it still sounds right, use a comma.

It was a long, exhausting day.

But don’t overdo it.

He wore a bright yellow shirt. (No comma, because “bright yellow” works together.)

6. Talking to someone? Comma their name.

Direct address means you set off the person’s name with a comma, otherwise you might end up accidentally inviting Tom to be dinner, not to dinner.

Let’s eat, Tom.

Tom, let’s eat.

7. Commas love dates, addresses, titles, and big-ass numbers.

On April 1, 2024, we saw a clown.

She lives at 123 Fake Street, Springfield, Illinois.

My friend Jamie Smith, MD, is here.

The prize was $10,000.

(If only that last one was my life.)

8. Sometimes, commas are just there so shit doesn’t get weird.

If your sentence could be misunderstood, a comma might save the day.

To err, is human. (But let’s be honest, to really mess things up, you need a computer.)

Bonus Round: Don’t Overdo It

Don’t go all Jackson Pollock with your commas. Only use them when you actually need to. Too many commas make your writing look like it’s had one too many drinks.

Quick Recap:

Commas keep your writing from turning into a dumpster fire. They separate ideas, make things clearer, and help your sentences not run together like a bad hangover. If you’re not sure if you need one, read your sentence out loud. If you pause (or if it just sounds weird without it), a comma’s probably your friend.

If you still hate commas after all this, trust me, you’re not alone.

Now go forth and write. Or at least, go forth and make fewer mistakes.

If you found any part of this useful, give us a follow. This shit doesn’t write itself.

If you’re a writer, there are three things you should basically always be doing: writing, editing, or marketing. That’s it. There’s no secret fourth thing, no magical shortcut, and definitely no “just scrolling through Twitter for inspiration” (nice try, though).

So, what am I doing here with this blog post? Well, this counts as marketing. And honestly, I’m also just being a really nice person by sharing it with you. You’re welcome.

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When ‘Too Much’ Was Just Enough

When ‘Too Much’ Was Just Enough

Imagine this: Just a few weeks back, I poured my heart into a story for a contest, a challenge sparked by a single, piercing prompt:

“Center your story around someone who’s tired of always being second best (or second choice).”

Now, pause for a moment.

Have you ever felt the sting of being overlooked? The frustration of putting in all the effort, only to watch someone else bask in the spotlight that should have been yours? If you’ve ever been the one doing the heavy lifting, holding everything together while credit slips through your fingers, then this story is for you.

Don’t Block the Light

They say her name, and the room detonates; applause ricochets off glass, off my ribs. I clap too, because that’s the rule when you’re paid to be second.

Priscilla skims to the front, hair catching the lights like a net of gold, heels fluent as a second language. She sells my dragons like she felt their heat first, like her fingerprints are pressed into every scale. The author leans in, hungry. The publicist beams, blinding. “Brilliant,” the client breathes, and my coffee-stained notebook stays shut on my lap, warming my thigh like a secret I don’t dare open.

I hold the smile that keeps meetings smooth and credit slippery. Her perfume hits before her words do, a soft, expensive fog that coats my tongue. I listen for my name, for a glance, a nod, any thin thread. The silence has perfect posture. I swallow the word that claws its way up, “mine.”

I know this choreography: keep the pitch in the air, juggling what no one can see, while someone else steps into the light and takes the bow. My palms sting from clapping. My chest hums with the dragons I birthed and cannot name. And still, I clap.

They’re lauding her pitch when my mind rips backward. Applause smears into a gym’s roar. I’m sixteen, the air tastes like rubber and dust; the lights are cruel; the floor is a mirror for every mistake. Match point. The ball sails long; I dive—knee slams. Pain blooms white. My palm finds leather, just enough to keep it alive. I’m still on the floor when the pretty blonde rises, arm a guillotine, and hammers it home. The crowd explodes… for her.

After, the coach presses the game ball into her hands. “We did it,” she says. I nod and swallow the word we, thick, chalky, like it might scrape me raw all the way down.

The conference room snaps back into focus. Priscilla wears that practiced, cheerleader-bright glow, teeth, lashes, shine, until someone asks how she came up with the idea. A hairline crack of panic splits her face. Her eyes hunt for me; I fix my stare just past her shoulder, gifting her nothing but air.

“Jamie and I were talking about it. Do you want to tell them what we were thinking?”

We, she says. Bullshit. It was me. But I’m paid to be part of the team, not the star; the chorus, not the solo. I clear my throat. The author leans in—the publisher stills. Perfume drifts. My pulse ticks like a metronome for a song only I know. The dragons kick against my ribs.

I glance up, let the silence tighten like a net, and hold it—right before I speak.

I clear my throat. The room stills.

“Dragons are about being chosen, and choosing. Adoption is the key.”

I let that settle, let their chests open for it.

“The idea is to hatch your dragon. A fast, intimate quiz: what scares you, what do you guard, when do you burn. It matches each reader to a dragon from the book. They get a named digital egg and a keeper’s guide.”

I can feel them leaning in.

“For seven days, the egg warms. Short messages in the hero’s voice, in the dragon’s voice—belonging, anger, shame, bravery, love. The art darkens as the shell thins. Day five: a ten-second whisper. And on launch day, the egg cracks in AR. Lift your phone and your dragon unfurls across your room, leaves a scorch trail to buy, plus a dragon-type-only chapter.”

A pause. A pulse. I keep going.

“IRL: indie shops give foil ‘scale’ stickers. Show your hatch, get a scale. Collect three; a heat-ink code appears and unlocks a city map of secret roosts, murals, chalk sigils, and window clings, leading to prizes and a midnight Hatch Night projection where a dragon climbs the bookstore. Every hatch funds a school library.”

I let a smile find the edge of my mouth.

“Creators hatch early on BookTok and name theirs on camera. Tagline: Claim your fire.”

If they need the jargon, I hand it to them, palm up.

“If you prefer, call it omnichannel. I call it the click in your chest when the egg breaks and the feeling of being chosen washes over you. I understand that emotion.”

I meet the author’s eyes. Then the publisher’s.

“We should present it to them. We create the app. Users subscribe. If they gather enough virtual eggs, they’re rewarded with a discount code for your book. Meanwhile, participating bookstores are suddenly bustling. More feet, more hands, more heat. Tell me, what store refuses to stock the book everyone is crossing town to hatch?”

Priscilla’s smile held; her eyes cut like I’d let something loose. Heat from the lights on my face; a colder heat from her stare.

“I sketched the initial concept,” I say—five thin words. I open the old sketchbook—coffee rings, pencil ghosts—and Blair, the author, glances at me and smiles.

The publisher looks to Blair. A smile spreads, catches, multiplies. Nods land. The room clicks into yes. The deal is done. Blair and I make eye contact, a silent chord that says more than it should.

Priscilla’s glare blades across the table. Someone corrals us for a photo, shoulders touching, flash primed. The feeling of being caught doing something wrong rises from the pit of me. Did I say too much? Should I have handed it back, gift-wrapped, with her name on the tag?

The practiced smile slides on; my cheeks burn under it. The taste of pennies blooms—regret already shaping the word sorry.

I feel the apology rise, muscle memory. Give it back. Say we. Say Priscilla. Make yourself smaller; fit better. My tongue touches the word, and I swallow it hard.

I see the notebook: coffee rings, midnight sketches, the spine of the idea forming under my hands. Mine.

Her eyes say too much. My palms press together to stop the shake. Maybe this is it—finally enough to hear my name, even if only inside my own head. I hold it there, a small, stubborn ember no flashbulb can burn out.

I trailed the client into the hallway, applause still echoing like it belonged to someone else’s life. Priscilla slid past close enough for her perfume to touch my tongue, then her shoulder clipped mine—sharp, deliberate. My cup jerked. Coffee jumped. Heat slapped my white blouse and bled fast, a brown bloom across my chest.

“Sorry” rose out of habit, like I should apologize for straying into her orbit. I bit it back. She didn’t look over her shoulder. The click of her heels said everything: I’d talked too much. I’d forgotten to stay small. I wasn’t the pretty one.

Dan saw. He stopped mid-step, eyes dropping to the stain, then back to my face. The world tilted. Someone had witnessed the part where she shines, and I clean up. Heat crawled up my neck: coffee, humiliation, and something fierce that’s tired of swallowing itself.

I pressed my thumb into the cup, breathing through the bitterness. Dan’s gaze held—steady, alert. Not pity. Something worked behind his eyes, a shape he hadn’t spoken yet. He knew it wasn’t an accident. His mouth was tight, like he was holding a word between his teeth, something that could turn this into more than a stain, if I let it.

“Why don’t you take the rest of the week off?”

I didn’t know what to think, so I nodded, automatic, obedient. Maybe he knew a brown stain doesn’t just disappear. Perhaps he was offering me comp time before the cut, a soft edge to a harsh reality. Comp time before firing me. The thought flicked its switchblade open.

Her gaze lingered long enough to watch the coffee seep, the dark spreading fast across my white blouse. She grinned, a small, satisfied crescent that said I had it coming. Maybe I did. That’s a lie, I know by heart.

Dan didn’t want the odd one out. That’s what I heard in my head. The stain made me louder than I’m allowed to be. Priscilla made sure no clients were close enough to overhear; she scanned the corridor like a director protecting a brand. She was a vibrant splash of color stepping out of an advertisement, all gloss and glow, and I was the matte background that sucked in light.

Under the fluorescents, I could feel every imperfect edge of myself: the flyaway hair I’d smoothed twice, the scuffed heel on my sensible shoes, the blouse I bought on sale now wearing its stain like a name tag. I wasn’t the poster girl. I was a smudge on the poster.

Dan’s eyes lingered for a second too long, and I caught the unspoken memo: clean lines, clean faces, clean stories. I’m good at disappearing on cue. I folded my shoulders in, pressed the cup to my chest like a shield, willing the brown to stop blooming, telling myself to move, fix, be easy, anything but visible.

Before I could turn away, I caught Blair’s eyes. Brief. Bright. Not pity. A different meaning, a secret kept behind his teeth. Something like a door, neither open nor closed. A promise, or a plan. A look that said: this moment can be more than a stain, if you let it.

Priscilla’s laugh follows me down the hall, bright and hollow, like ice in a glass. I don’t have to turn to see her leaning in, voice dipped in honey, the others chiming all the right words—brilliant, inspired, visionary—like a chorus that only knows one name.

I hit the side door with my shoulder. The metal bar is cold; the air beyond it is hotter, heavy with exhaust and summer. The door thuds shut behind me, cutting off the performance mid-applause. My blouse has dried into a stiff shell where the coffee hit, a brown, uneven blotch blooming over my chest.

Out in the parking lot, my brain does what it always does to keep me from crying—it writes.

A kids’ book, simple enough for small hands to hold without it hurting too much. A girl with black pigtails, me, really in a too-starched uniform, knees scuffed, shoes half-size too big. She carries hot chocolate instead of coffee, careful as a tightrope walker. And a glossy-haired princess swings a backpack just wide enough to tip the cup.

The cocoa blooms brown on white. That high, tinkly laugh names you second before anyone votes. Teachers don’t look. The girls shrug. You stare at the stain and decide you’re the mess.

In your room, there’s a corkboard of second-place ribbons like a constellation you never asked for, chocolate rings ghosting the corners of worksheets, and you practicing small—shoulders tucked, breath quiet. The book gives you what I didn’t have: a voice that doesn’t apologize. You’re not the spill, kid. You’re the one who keeps getting up.

The mean girls? Peacocks in cardboard crowns, noise and shimmer that only gleam in borrowed shadow. You learn to steady your cup when they bump you, to wear the stain like a map that says I was here. Don’t shrink to be their wind. You’re the eagle, spread your wings. Hot chocolate in both hands. A real smile, not because the room demanded it, but because you know you don’t have to disappear to matter.

Out in the sultry parking lot, the only cheering is the rattle of the HVAC and a distant car alarm. I stood on oil-slicked concrete and let myself breathe, the taste of her perfume finally lifting off my tongue.

Inside, she’s winning them. I’m the echo that left the room, so no one had to hear it. I tell myself I’m getting fresh air. Mostly, I’m getting out of their way. And I can already see Monday: my things in little brown boxes, stacked neatly, the whole of me slid into the back of my car like I was never here at all.

I don’t sleep. Instead, I rehearse losing my job. Every time I close my eyes, I see Dan’s mouth flatten, hear myself saying too much, watch Priscilla’s smile slice four a.m. to ribbons. By then, I’m at the kitchen table in yesterday’s blouse, scrubbing at the ghost of coffee like I could scrub the night out of my head.

The rest of the week plays the same loop. I circle job listings in the paper with a dull pen while I polish my resume, swapping verbs, sanding edges. I tell myself I’m better than this, better than office politics, and repeat it until the words go tinny in my mouth.

On Monday, I arrive early. The office is a hush, the empty halls a place I can hide in. The garage hums; rain ghosts the air, threading itself through the thick smell of oil. My hatchback exhales into its familiar, sunbaked spot. I walk past the RESERVED placards like a gallery of names I don’t belong to, eyes down, counting steps, averting my gaze until the end of the row.

Her space was empty.

No red sports car gleaming under the soft lights like a trophy. No wink of vanity plates. Just a clean rectangle of concrete and a painted sign above it—Reserved—MVP—staring back like a punchline missing its laugh.

I stopped breathing. Such a small thing, a gap where she should be. But it felt like standing in front of a mirror and not seeing the person who always takes center stage. Late? Sick? Called in early to be crowned again? Fired, a wild part of me whispered, and hope flared so fast it scared me. I don’t think that way, not really.

I pressed my palm to the cool pillar until the heat in my face drained off. Don’t be stupid, I told myself. Empty doesn’t mean anything. Titles shift. People are late. I’m the one who gets fired in this story, remember?

Still, as I walked toward the elevator, the garage sounded different. The quiet didn’t echo with her. For the first time since last week, my chest loosened enough to let a full breath in. I slipped into the elevator before the feeling could notice and run.

Turning the corner, the long hall humming with tired fluorescents, I was already rehearsing how to make myself small. Then I saw it, right there on my desk—a clear glass vase. A single red rose lit up like a stoplight in the gray of morning, its stem needled with thorns, its bloom loud as a heart.

WTF. For a beat, I think I’ve wandered to the wrong workstation. My chair. My mug. My stack of marked-up briefs—and then the rose, impossibly bright, siren-red in a clear glass vase. A folded card leans against it. My name is on the front. My name.

I glance over my shoulder, expecting a camera crew or Priscilla’s laugh snapping shut around me. Nothing; just the copier grinding itself awake somewhere down the corridor. My fingers tremble as I slide a nail beneath the fold and open the note.

“Jamie, it was clear that you were the brainchild behind the campaign for my book after you left. I look forward to working with you, even if your teammates don’t appreciate you, I do.” — Blair Thomas

I read it twice. A third time. As if the ink might evaporate if I blink too hard. The paper is heavy, expensive, like proof you can hold. Heat climbs my throat, the kind that warns tears are loading whether I’ve granted permission or not. I press my thumb hard into the card’s edge until the sting steadies me.

Someone finally saw me. Not a coworker doing damage control, the author, the prize they were courting, while I ghosted through the side exit, coffee bleeding through my white blouse, sliding warm over my ribs toward my belly.

Inside me, the girl with hot chocolate and scuffed knees stands up a little. She squares her shoulders. She lets the smile happen, not because the room asked for it, but because it turns out my name sounds different when I say it to myself and believe it.

My first instinct was to hide it. I slid the card half under my keyboard, pulled it back out, then tucked it into my planner like a secret I wasn’t ready to let the light touch for long. I could already hear the spin if this got around. I could already see Priscilla’s mouth curdle at the edges. But for once, the fear didn’t sweep the table clean. It just sat beside the rose and made room.

I leaned in and breathed the rose. It smelled like something I couldn’t name—like a door opening. The empty spot in the garage flashed through my mind. The way Dan’s eyes had held mine. The hours I’d spent rehearsing the script where I was told I was too much.

Maybe I was. Maybe too much is exactly what it takes to finally be seen.

I straightened the vase, smoothed the corner of the note, and sat down. The chair felt different under me, as if it had been mine all along and I was only now letting myself believe it.

By noon, certainty unraveled. The rose looked like a mistake again; the note read like a fever dream. Then Dan pinged: “Got a minute?” My stomach did the trapdoor thing. I followed him past the bullpen, past the glass where I usually catch my small reflection, down the hush of the executive row. He stopped at the empty office next to his—the one everyone called the waiting room for gods.

The lock chirped. He opened the door and held out a keycard. “You’ll need this.”

The thin plastic was heavier than it should have been. It lay on my palm like a new word I wasn’t sure I was allowed to say yet. My pulse climbed into my throat. The rose’s red burned in my periphery, a stoplight turned green. I didn’t ask what for. I just felt the floor of my old story tilt, and the next one open.

I waited for the after, for the neat sentence that would put me back where I belong. Instead, he said, “Blair’s publisher called at eight. They want to scale your concept across their list. We’re building a dedicated group to do author campaigns. I want you to lead it.”

For a second, all I could hear was gym noise from another life. Match point. My knee hitting the floor. The cheer going to someone else. My mouth went dry. “Me?” It came out small and hoarse, a kid asking if the grown-ups mean it.

“You,” he said, like it was obvious. Like it had always been obvious.

He walked me through the space—where my team would sit, the whiteboard we’d crowd with ideas, the budget I’d sign off on. I nodded like I knew how to carry a room with my name on the door. Inside, the girl with the pigtails stared at the keycard in my hand and didn’t dare blink.

An hour later, Facilities emailed: Parking Reassignment. I took the elevator down just to prove it wasn’t a joke. The MVP spot wasn’t an empty rectangle anymore. A temporary placard was taped over the old sign. My name. Spelled right. I touched the paper like it might smudge, like names only belong to other people.

Back upstairs, I sat in my new office with the door half-open, the rose on the windowsill, the note tucked where I could see it if I needed proof. The publisher liked my idea. We were expanding. I’d be the one steering now—not just keeping the ball in play while someone else took the bow.

I didn’t feel triumphant. I felt careful, like holding something warm and alive that might choose me back if I didn’t flinch. I let my name be loud in my head for once. I let the chair take my weight. And for the first time, being second wasn’t the ending I was braced for. It was just a story. I didn’t have to keep telling.

I hope you enjoyed this story.  Yes, sharing my stories is part of a marketing campaign, which, if you’re an author, you might try.  

Keep an eye on this space for news about the release date of The Big Beautiful Book of Stupid Shit. Sharing with friends is encouraged, as is leaving comments.

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“How to Run a City into the Ground: A Beginner’s Guide”

“How to Run a City into the Ground: A Beginner’s Guide”

So, let me get this straight—they elected a communist Marxist as mayor in New York? Really? That’s like hiring a pyromaniac to run the fire department. Wait, no, scratch that—it’s worse. Imagine replacing your town mayor with a SoundCloud rapper who thinks governing is just a series of TikTok dances and hashtags. That’s basically what happened here. And everyone’s sitting around wondering why the city’s falling apart. Shocking, right?

Meanwhile, over at the White House, they’re apparently “dumbfounded” by the blue wave that rolled in last night. Dumbfounded? Really? It’s not rocket science, people. The Democrats pulled a masterclass in manipulation, and it worked. They caused untold misery with the shutdowns, and now they’re clutching their pearls because they’re terrified of the “loon wing” of their party. You know the type—young, overconfident, with a cocktail of dumb ideas and a trust fund to back them up. Oh, and don’t forget, they’re bankrolled by a bunch of rich folks who want to squeeze every last dime out of the rest of us.

Enter the Tax Code.

Speaking of the Tax Code, did you know the thing is longer than the entire Harry Potter series combined? The U.S. Tax Code is a bloated monstrosity—6,871 pages of bureaucratic nonsense. But wait! That’s just the appetizer. When you pile on tax regulations and official IRS guidelines, you’re looking at a staggering 75,000 pages. Seventy-five. Thousand. Pages.

Who’s reading this? Nobody. Not even the IRS knows what’s in there. It’s like they’re running a Choose-Your-Own-Adventure novel where every ending involves you paying more taxes.

And let’s talk words—because it’s not just about pages. The core tax code contains 3.4 million words. Add statutes and regulations, and you’re up to 4 million. Toss in IRS tax regulations, and the total hits 7.7 million words. That’s the literary equivalent of being waterboarded with legalese. But hey, at least the oligarchs are laughing. They control the media, the NGOs, and now, apparently, common sense.

Oh, and let’s not forget the UK. They’ve got their own problems, using stooges who still cling to ideologies that date back to the 16th century. It’s like watching someone fight over a VHS player in the age of Netflix. But the oligarchs? They don’t care. They’re too busy enjoying the spectacle from their yachts, sipping overpriced champagne, and watching the rest of us scramble to make sense of it all.

So, back to why the Democrats won. It’s simple. Perception is reality. And they’ve mastered the art of crafting perception like Michelangelo sculpted marble… except instead of beauty, it’s all smoke and mirrors. Alongside their trusty media cheerleaders, they managed to blame Trump for everything short of bad weather. Trump Derangement Syndrome became their rallying cry, and Big Pharma probably has a new vaccine ready just in case anyone starts thinking for themselves.

Liberals have cut off their nose to spite their face so many times that they’re starting to look like abstract art. But hey, perception is what matters, right?

Here’s the thing about perception: It’s like those funhouse mirrors at a carnival. It stretches, distorts, and twists reality until you’re not even sure what’s real anymore. If you think someone’s out to get you, they are—even if they’re not. If you believe your city’s mayor is a genius, well, congratulations, you’ve officially drunk the Kool-Aid. Perception shapes everything we do, from what we believe to how we vote to whether or not we buy into the nonsense being spoon-fed to us by the media. It’s manipulation 101, and the Dems have a Ph.D. in it.

I would bet the Dems are right now trying to figure out how to ride in on their white horses to save the day while still getting $1.5 T for their undocumented voters.

The truth? Things are not always as they seem. Or, as the Japanese say:

見た目通りとは限らない (Mitame dōri to wa kagiranai).

Translation: “That thing that looks like a dog? Yeah, it’s probably a raccoon.

Eventually, maybe, these blue cities will figure out that communism and socialism don’t work. But knowing them, they’ll probably blame Trump for their failed utopia first. It’s inevitable. And just to clarify, I’m not out here defending either party. I’m an equal-opportunity critic. I research the hell out of everything, which is why I’m currently writing The Big Beautiful Book of Stupid Shit. Coming soon to a bookstore near you.

And trust me, there’s no shortage of material.

More information will be available when the book is published, so stay tuned.

-Best

#StupidShitPolitics
#MarxistMayors
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Unraveling Family Secrets: My Journey with Amelia Earhart

Unraveling Family Secrets: My Journey with Amelia Earhart

A few weeks ago, I shared this story on the Reedsy website as part of a contest—one that feels just about as realistic as actually locating my distant cousin, Amelia Earhart. However, today I wanted to share it with you, my audience. Maybe it’ll brighten your day or spark a little curiosity about the connections we all might share, even on this very site.

You see, we all hear stories about our relatives from eons ago, whispers passed down through generations, fragments of lives that shaped who we are. For me, those whispers were irresistible. As a writer, I had to know the truth, no matter who my ancestors turned out to be. Even if they were mafia bosses or obscure nobodies, I knew there would be tales worth telling.

So, I did the DNA thing. I poured time, energy, and more money than I’d like to admit into genealogy research. And what I unraveled was a tapestry of intrigue that stretched far beyond what I ever expected.

My childhood was a kingdom built on whispers, stories of valor, tradition, royalty, and scandal that seemed to weave themselves into the very air I breathed. A haze of cigar smoke clung to the image of a defiant political figure, while hushed voices hinted at royal blood flowing through my veins. And always, in the background, there was a shadow—a darker figure, the man who erased eighteen minutes of history in Washington.

These weren’t just stories. They were my inheritance. Power. Secrets. A kaleidoscope of intrigue buried deep in my DNA.

When I finally cracked open the past, these stories took on new life. The more I dug, the more I found royalty, scandal, and power. And then, Amelia Earhart. A name that needs no introduction. A name that leapt off the pages of history and into my family tree.

A distant cousin. A bold trailblazer. A perfect metaphor for navigating uncharted waters or even waiting to be rescued.

But this isn’t just a story about her disappearance. It’s about the echoes she left behind, the way her legacy is stitched into the fabric of history—and, somehow, into me.

So here’s to the past, to the stories we inherit, and to the ones waiting to be uncovered. Sometimes, they lead to royalty. Sometimes, to scandal. And sometimes, to Amelia Earhart.

***

Sunlight blazed on the Papua New Guinea airstrip. Heat waves distorted the cracked earth. Morning light reflected off the hangars. Only faint insect hums and distant tools broke the silence.

Amelia Earhart stood by her Lockheed Electra, calm but tense. Her tapping foot betrayed her unease. The Electra sat ready in the sun, engines primed. Dressed in khaki slacks and a white blouse, her sharp gaze cut through the moment. Waiting wasn’t her strength.

Noonan was late.

Her sigh cut through the silence. Frustration burned in her chest, but beneath it churned something colder: anxiety. A storm of nerves tightened her gut. Ahead of them stretched 2,556 miles of ruthless ocean, no markers, no mercy. Just an endless expanse of restless blue. Howland Island? A speck on the map. Miss it, and they were nothing but ghosts swallowed by the sea.

She turned the thought over in her mind, locking it away behind a mask of calm. This leg was different. She felt it in her bones, and Fred did too, though he hadn’t dared say it out loud. He didn’t have to. The radio was dying, had been for days. Their antenna? A jury-rigged prayer held together by wire and hope. Every burst of static from the speaker stabbed like a cruel reminder: their mission was a house of cards, teetering in the wind.

A breeze stirred, carrying the damp tang of jungle earth. Amelia closed her eyes, letting it brush against her, grounding her. She thought of George, waiting for her back home. The reporters, waiting to write her triumph or her obituary. And the little girls, faces she’d never seen, who dreamed of reaching the sky because she’d dared to take it. Their dreams hung on her wings, and the weight of it all pressed down on her like lead.

Footsteps broke through the humid stillness.

She opened her eyes. Fred was striding toward her, untucked and unshaven, his hair a wild mess. That grin was back, the cocky, boyish grin he always wore, like danger was something he could charm away. Like the ocean wasn’t out there, waiting to swallow them whole.

“You’re late,” Amelia said, her voice slicing through the thick air like a propeller blade.

He strolled toward her, his untucked shirt flapping lazily in the breeze, that cocky, devil-may-care grin plastered across his face. “Morning, boss,” he drawled, like they were gearing up for a casual Sunday jaunt instead of staring down the most perilous stretch of their lives.

“Fred,” she said, her voice low and edged with steel, “this isn’t just another leg of the journey.”

“I get it, Amelia. I do.”

She gave a single, sharp nod. “Let’s go,” she said.

Without waiting for a reply, Amelia spun on her heel and strode toward the Electra. Behind her, Fred fell in line, tugging his shirt straight and rolling his shoulders back, as if shaking off the weight of what lay ahead. The plane loomed in the distance, its silver body catching the light.

They were all set. Or as prepared as anyone could possibly be for this.

The engines roared to life, a symphony of power and defiance, drowning out words, fears, and second thoughts.

Hours into the flight, the sky burned with the last light of the setting sun, the horizon splitting into gold and crimson hues. In the cockpit, Fred studied the stars, his hands steady, his mind focused. The constellations were their map, their lifeline in the endless blue expanse.

The stars wouldn’t wait forever. Clouds crept across the sky, swallowing their guides one by one. If Fred hadn’t overslept, they’d be closer to safety by now, before the night went blind.

The overcast wasn’t just inconvenient; it was catastrophic. The stars, his lifeline, vanished behind an impenetrable shroud.

“Have you heard from the Itasca?” he asked.

“No,” Amelia said flatly. “I’ve announced our position. No response.”

Fred cursed, the broken antenna flashing in his mind. Who could they even reach out here?

“Can we climb above the clouds?” he shouted.

“We’re burning too much fuel,” she replied.

Fred slumped. No stars. No antenna. Radio silence. A storm churned ahead. Below: endless sea. All they had was the compass, and luck.

Rain hammered the windshield, the storm howling against the Electra’s fragile frame. Lightning tore jagged scars through the darkness. Inside the cockpit, there was no horizon, no bearings, only chaos.

“Fred, give me a heading!” Amelia yelled above the engine noise. “What is our location?”

Fred’s hands trembled as he wrestled with the compass. “I’m trying! The storm’s throwing it off, it’s spinning!”

The Electra shuddered, caught in the storm’s grip, as the ocean below waited, silent and merciless.

“We’ve been on this heading for three, maybe four hours,” Fred shouted, flipping through his maps. “If there’s a headwind, we’re burning more fuel than we thought. We should be near Howland by now.”

“‘Should be’?” Amelia snapped, her voice cutting like the storm outside. “Great. I’ll just ask the ocean to wait while we figure it out!”

Fred’s voice cracked. “I don’t know what to tell you! Without the stars, I’m flying blind! The compass is all we’ve got, and with this storm, it’s probably off!”

That was not the answer she was looking for. Without her instruments, she would most certainly crash them into the ocean. She couldn’t tell where the sky stopped, and the sea began.

Fred froze, pale and silent. The storm battered the plane, each gust shaking the Electra to its core. The fuel gauges ticked lower, the needles creeping toward empty.

Rain blurred the windshield, the instruments glowing faintly in the chaos. Lightning slashed through the black void, illuminating the endless Pacific below.

“I… I didn’t think it’d be this bad,” Fred muttered, his voice breaking. “I thought…”

Amelia cut him off, her words sharp as steel. “You thought what, Fred? That the Pacific would be kind? That we didn’t need the antenna. That we could just point the nose east and hope for the best?”

The plane lurched violently, throwing them forward. Amelia gritted her teeth, fighting the controls as the Electra groaned under the storm’s fury. For a moment, neither spoke. The pounding rain and roaring engines filled the silence.

She exhaled sharply, frustration hardening into focus. When she spoke again, her voice softened, though the fear lingered beneath.

“If the compass is all we’ve got, we use it, imperfect or not. We keep on this heading until we succeed or we go swimming.”

Fred nodded, his breath unsteady as he forced himself to focus. “You’re right. Okay. I’ll keep us on this heading. I’ll recheck the drift estimates and adjust for the wind. We’ll figure this out.”

Amelia’s eyes stayed locked on the storm ahead, her jaw tight. “We don’t have much time to figure anything out. The fuel’s going faster than it should. This headwind’s killing us.”

Fred hesitated, his voice catching. “How much flying time do we have left?”

“Three hours. Four, if we’re lucky.” Her voice was flat, her expression unyielding. “But luck’s not exactly on our side, is it?”

Fred dropped his gaze to the maps in his lap, his voice barely a whisper. “No. It’s not.”

Lightning flashed, flooding the cockpit with white-hot light. Fred’s face was pale, every tight line around his eyes carved with worry. Amelia’s grip on the yoke tightened, her knuckles bone-white. The plane shuddered again, the storm clawing at their fragile craft.

Fred tried to summon hope. “Maybe it’ll clear. Maybe the clouds will break, and I can get a fix on the stars.”

He stared at his maps, his voice barely above a whisper. “I’m sorry, Amelia. I should’ve fixed the antenna better. I should’ve been ready for this.”

His trembling hands adjusted the compass, eyes locked on the erratic needle jerking under the storm’s interference.

The engines droned unevenly, straining against the wind and rain. Somewhere out there was Howland. Their only option was to continue, slowly advancing as the immense Pacific stretched out beneath them.

The storm eased, just enough to reveal patches of rippling black ocean, infinite and indifferent. The Electra cruised low at 1,000 feet, its fuel gauges hovering dangerously near empty. Amelia’s face was set, her jaw locked. Fred sat in silence, ashen, gripping his map and compass as if they were the only things tethering him to hope.

Amelia shouted over the engines. “I’m calling the Itasca! Maybe they’ll hear us!”

“Itasca, this is Earhart. One thousand feet. Heading east. Position unknown. Low on fuel. Repeat, low on fuel. We estimate we’re near Howland Island. If you can hear us, we need assistance. Over.”

Amelia released the mic. The cockpit filled with an empty, mocking hiss.

Fred leaned forward, his voice barely a whisper. “Come on… please…”

Nothing. Just the relentless crackle of silence.

Amelia tried again. “Itasca, this is Earhart! Do you copy? We’re out of time! Over!”

The reply was the same.

Fred slammed his fist against the armrest, his frustration seething. “Damn it! They can’t hear us.”

The engines groaned as the storm eased, revealing only the vast, empty Pacific below. The fuel gauges hovered dangerously close to empty.

“We’re at our limit,” Amelia said softly, her voice calm but heavy. “These engines won’t last.”

Fred leaned forward. “Drop lower! We might see something, land, anything!”

Amelia hesitated, then tightened her grip on the yoke. “Fine. Hold on.”

The Electra dipped, skimming just above the waves. The engines strained as Fred pressed his face to the window, scanning the endless horizon.

“Wait!” he shouted, pointing frantically. “There! Off the left wing—do you see it?!”

Amelia squinted, her heart pounding. Then she saw it—a faint outline, waves breaking against something solid.

“An island,” Fred gasped. “That has to be it. Howland, or something close!”

Amelia’s voice stayed grim. “We get one shot. If we miss, we’re done.”

The fuel needle dropped to empty. She clenched her teeth, aligning the plane with the distant shadow.

“Steady,” she murmured.

Fred’s voice cracked. “What if it’s just a reef? Can we even land there?”

“Fred!” she barked. “Shut up and let me fly!”

The engines sputtered. One died. The propeller slowed, then stopped, and the Electra lurched violently. Amelia wrestled the controls, leveling the plane as the second engine coughed its final breath.

“Get ready!” she shouted, her voice echoing through the air. “If it’s not land, we’re going to have to start swimming!”

With a shudder, the second engine failed. The silence was overwhelming, with the only disruption coming from the wind’s fierce howl against the plane. The plane glided toward the surf, a fragile machine against the roar of the ocean.

“Come on,” Amelia whispered. “Just a little further…”

The plane skimmed the waves, the salt spray misting the windows, then slammed into the shore, a mix of sand and unforgiving rock. A flicker of hope ignited in that instant.

“Amelia!” Fred screamed. “Watch out!”

The plane jolted violently, slamming into jagged rocks. Water sprayed on either side as the Electra skidded to a halt, its crushed nose buried in sand.

Silence. No engines. No voices. Only the crash of distant waves and the groan of the battered fuselage settling into the earth.

The sudden stop from the harness’s grip on the seat stole her breath. Frozen, she sat, the ragged sound of her breath echoing in the silence. “Fred… you okay?” she rasped, the sound thin and frail.

The Electra lay in a shallow lagoon, its crumpled nose half-buried in sand and rock. Tidewater lapped at its sides, creeping into the fuselage. Overhead, the storm had broken, clouds parting to reveal faint moonlight on a desolate beach.

Inside the cockpit, they worked quickly, soaked and shaking.

Her wet gloves slipped against the straps, her arms screaming with fatigue, but she didn’t stop. Finally, the emergency radio came free. “Got it. Help me with the power unit.”

Fred staggered back, panting. “This thing weighs a ton. If the tide comes in faster…”

“We’ll make it,” Amelia declared, her voice echoing with a steely determination. “Keep moving.”

They climbed off the wing, plunging waist-deep into the frigid water. The cold sliced through their soaked clothes, stealing their breath, but they pressed on. The lagoon reeked of salt and damp earth, the steady crash of waves the only sound beyond their labored breaths.

Fred shivered, his voice thin. “Do you think anyone heard us? Before the engines died?”

Amelia didn’t look back; her gaze was locked ahead. “I don’t know. I hope so.”

Her voice was steady, but Fred caught the strain beneath it, the fear she buried under sheer determination. She gripped the radio tighter, the cold metal biting into her gloves.

The shore drew closer. Their boots sank into the shifting sand beneath the shallow water. The lagoon, now calm, mirrored the pale glow of the moon. Around them, debris, seaweed, driftwood, and jagged rocks littered the beach like the remains of a forgotten world.

Fred broke the silence. “God, it’s so quiet.”

“Quiet’s better than thunder,” Amelia replied. “Let’s get everything to higher ground before the tide takes it.”

They fell onto the sand, the power unit hitting with a thud. Amelia rolled her aching shoulders. Fred gasped, dropping to his knees, the flashlight shaking.

“Could this be Howland?” he asked.

Amelia scanned the dark horizon, hands braced on her knees. “Maybe. Or another island nearby. Hard to tell in the dark.”

Fred’s voice wavered. “And if it’s not? What if it’s just… nothing? An empty speck in the middle of nowhere?”

Amelia straightened, her tone steady. “Then we survive. One step at a time.”

Fred’s pale face was fixed on the lagoon as he nodded slowly. The wrecked Electra, a spectral outline, sat half-submerged, its broken form a chilling sight against the vast Pacific. Crushed by the vastness, he felt nothing but the weight of his isolation, with no rescue or certainty in sight. A wave of nausea caused his stomach to churn.

Amelia’s hand gripped his shoulder. “We’re not done yet,” she said, her voice resolute. “As long as we’re breathing, we’ve got a chance. Let’s get the radio set up.”

Each step was a struggle, their bodies stiff and heavy, yet necessity compelled them to move forward. As Amelia unpacked the radio, Fred dragged the power unit, its weight a heavy drag, near the tree line. Her numb fingers worked with painstaking slowness. The night buzzed around them, a symphony of insect hums and rustling palms, each sound piercing the silent air.

Fred’s eyes darted nervously toward the deep, looming shadows. “Do you think anything could possibly be living in this quiet place?”

Amelia kept her gaze fixed downward. “Let’s not make that a priority for now.”

With meticulous movements, Amelia connected wires while Fred held the flashlight, the beam dancing nervously as he glanced at the shadowy tree line. The faint moonlight cast an ethereal glow, barely holding back the darkness of the night.

At last, Amelia straightened, wiping her hands on her damp trousers. She exhaled slowly, her breath visible in the cool air.

“That’s it,” she said, her voice quiet but firm. “Let’s see if anyone’s listening.”

The switch clicked. The radio crackled to life, a faint, fragile hum. Hope jolted through them.

As Amelia grabbed the mic, the weight of the situation made her voice both steady and urgent. “Mayday, mayday,” a frantic plea cut through the otherwise silent airwaves.

Endless static stretched, creating a suffocating pressure. Fred’s heart pounded in his chest as he held his breath.

Amelia tried again, her tone firmer. “Mayday, mayday. This is Amelia Earhart. Is anyone there? Over.”

The radio teased them with faint crackles, as if a voice hovered just out of reach. But no reply came.

Fred closed his eyes, shoulders sagging in quiet defeat. Amelia lowered the mic, her jaw tight, her eyes sharp.

“They’ll hear us eventually,” she murmured, almost to herself. “We just have to keep trying.”

For a moment, neither spoke. The weight of their reality pressed down, heavy as the humid air. The moon hung low, casting long shadows across the beach. In the distance, waves broke softly against the shore, a haunting rhythm in the stillness.

“Help me light a fire, Fred.”

Gathering driftwood, Fred finally broke the silence, his voice barely audible. “What if no one comes?”

She didn’t answer right away, her gaze fixed on the horizon. When she spoke, her voice was calm, resolute.

“Then we survive, one way or another, we survive.”

And that, my friends, is how I want to believe they slid into the history books, as survivors.

-Scott

Share the Journey

If this story resonated with you, I’d love for you to share it with others who might enjoy unraveling tales of history, mystery, and legacy. Give me a follow and stay tuned, there are more stories to come, and I can’t wait to share them with you.

If this is the kind of content you love, let me know in the comments! Your thoughts, connections, and stories mean the world to me, and I’d love to hear what you think.

Here’s to exploring the past, uncovering truth, and finding stories worth telling. Stay curious. 🌟

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“If the Glove Shrinks: Lawyers, Loopholes, and the Big Beautiful Mess of Justice”

“If the Glove Shrinks: Lawyers, Loopholes, and the Big Beautiful Mess of Justice”

In my latest literary masterpiece, The Big Beautiful Book of Stupid Shit (yes, that’s the real title, and no, I don’t regret it), I dive headfirst into some of the most baffling, infuriating, and downright idiotic aspects of the human condition. Spoiler alert: humanity is weird, and I’m here to talk about it.For example, let’s chat about lawyers. Specifically, the ones willing to defend the absolute worst people among us—the ones who make you pause mid-sandwich and say, “Wait, why are they even trying?” You know the type. They’re the ones standing up in court for murderers, war criminals, and people who willingly put pineapple on pizza.Take Charlie Kirk, for instance. Imagine defending that walking, talking Facebook comment section. The guy could probably strangle a basket of kittens on live TV, and some lawyer would still show up in court, briefcase in hand, ready to argue that “the kittens provoked him.” It makes you wonder—why? Why do these people do it? Are they just morally bankrupt? Are they paid in gold bars? Is there some kind of secret lawyer cult that demands sacrifices to the God of Loopholes?

The O.J. Trial: A Masterclass in Legal Shenanigans

Let’s rewind to the O.J. Simpson trial, that glorious dumpster fire of the 90s that had the whole world glued to their TVs. I’m pretty sure I taped it, but who knows—I might’ve just blacked out from secondhand embarrassment. Everyone and their dog knew O.J. was guilty. The man practically left a bloody trail to his living room. But did that stop his “Dream Team” of lawyers from turning the trial into the Super Bowl of legal theatrics? Hell no.And then came the moment that will live in infamy: the glove. You know the one. The leather glove soaked in blood that obviously shrank because, fun fact, wet leather shrinks. It’s science, people. But when O.J. tried it on and did his little “oops, doesn’t fit” dance, the jury collectively nodded and said, “Well, if the glove doesn’t fit, we must acquit.” I mean, come on. That’s like saying, “If the shoes don’t tie, the guy didn’t die.”By the way, did you know Native Americans used wet leather as a weapon of torture? True story. They’d bury their enemies up to their necks, tie a wet leather strap around their heads, and let the desert sun do the rest. The leather would dry, shrink, and slowly crush their skulls. Brutal, right? Now imagine some modern lawyer defending that. “Your honor, my clients were simply engaging in culturally significant headgear practices. They’re innocent.”

The T. Cullen Davis Shitshow

Speaking of Texas-sized legal disasters, let’s talk about T. Cullen Davis. If you’ve never heard of him, congrats—you have a healthy brain that hasn’t been poisoned by true crime rabbit holes. This guy was a millionaire accused of, among other things, murder. And who was his lawyer? Racehorse Haynes, a man with a name so Texas it might as well be wearing spurs. Haynes was so good at his job that you have to wonder if he made some kind of Faustian deal with the Devil himself. Honestly, I wouldn’t be surprised if Haynes and Satan are currently doing laps together in the lake of fire, swapping war stories about all the guilty people they got off the hook.

So, Why Do Lawyers Defend These People?

Here’s the kicker: defense attorneys don’t take these cases because they’re evil or because they secretly enjoy high-fiving serial killers in the breakroom. Nope. They do it because the justice system, as gloriously messy and flawed as it is, only works if everyone gets a fair trial. That means even the scumbags, the psychos, and yes, even the pineapple-on-pizza people deserve someone in their corner.These lawyers aren’t there to say, “Hey, my client is a great guy who accidentally stabbed 14 people.” They’re there to make sure the system doesn’t screw it up. Because if the system can railroad the guilty, it can definitely railroad the innocent. And that’s when things go from “mildly horrifying” to “full-on dystopia.”

How the Hell Do They Sleep at Night?

You’re probably wondering how these lawyers manage to sleep at night after defending, say, a guy who stole candy from babies or a hedge fund manager who tanked the economy. The answer? Compartmentalization. That’s therapist-speak for “shoving all your guilt and moral dilemmas into a mental closet and slamming the door shut.”Defense attorneys also lean on professional ethics, peer support, and the occasional stiff drink to get through it. They convince themselves that they’re not defending the crime—they’re defending the process. And honestly? They’re not wrong. The legal system doesn’t work without them. Just don’t expect them to win any popularity contests.

Final Thoughts: The Big, Stupid Picture

At the end of the day, defending the indefensible is a thankless job, but somebody’s gotta do it. Without defense attorneys, the justice system would be about as fair as a rigged carnival game. Sure, it’s frustrating to watch some smirking sociopath walk free because of a technicality, but the alternative—living in a world where justice is arbitrary and rights are optional—is way worse.So, the next time you’re shaking your head at some lawyer defending a guy who obviously did it, just remember: they’re not sleeping peacefully because they condone the crime. They’re sleeping peacefully because they know they’re upholding the system. Or maybe they’re just really good at compartmentalizing. Either way, they’re doing their job—and, like it or not, we all benefit from it.Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to write my next chapter: “Why People Still Put Up With Reality TV.” Spoiler: I have no idea.

Thanks for visiting. Make sure to subscribe so you don’t miss my next satiracle, look at humanity, or learn about putting virgin olive oil in coffee. (pro tip: be close to the bathroom)

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Thanks @thetimedokAuthorScott

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