Stupid Shit the Tease…

Stupid Shit the Tease…

Have you ever found yourself utterly overwhelmed by stupid shit? Like, truly drowning in the sheer tsunami of idiocy that seems to be the hallmark of modern life? Yeah, me too. Welcome to the club—we meet on Thursdays, bring snacks.

First things first, let me level with you: I am a writer. Mostly, I stick to science fiction because imagining dystopian futures where robots take over the world is somehow less depressing than facing the actual stupidity happening outside my front door. But lately? Lately, folks, what we’re witnessing out there makes Orwell look like a f*cking monk calmly sipping tea in a monastery while the rest of the world burns.

So, why did I decide to write about this? Two reasons. A) Writing is cathartic, and frankly, if I don’t get this dumb shit out of my head and onto a page, I’ll probably end up yelling at pigeons in the park. And B) I thought, “Hey, why not channel my rage into something people might actually enjoy reading?” Because let’s face it: there’s enough depressing crap out there. What we need is a book that takes all this absurdity, rolls it in sarcasm, and serves it with a side of humor. That’s the goal here—keep it funny, keep it sharp, and for the love of God, keep it real.

Alright, folks, hold onto your hats because there might just be a third reason for all this madness. You see, when you take a good, hard look at the world’s dumpster fire of problems through the eyes of someone who’s not afraid to think outside the box—let’s call them “the wonderfully weird”—you might just stumble upon a few suggestions that’ll make you go, “What the actual f*ck?”

So, are you ready for this rollercoaster of absurdity? Buckle up, because here comes the wisdom from the land of ridiculous ideas!

Now, what you’re reading here is just a sample—a teaser, if you will. Think of it as the appetizer platter of stupidity. The original plan was to write a novella. You know, something short and sweet, around 10,000 words. But guess what? Surprise! This thing is now over 120,000 words and counting. At this rate, I’ll be challenging Tolstoy for the title of “longest book no one actually finishes.” Move over, War and Peace, here comes Stupid Shit.

The truth is, there’s just too much material. The world is bursting at the seams with stupidity, and it’s like trying to bail out the Titanic with a teaspoon. Everywhere you look, there’s another mind-numbing act of idiocy begging to be documented. It’s relentless. It’s exhausting. And honestly, it’s kind of impressive—like, I didn’t even know humans could be this dumb on such a consistent basis.

But here’s the thing: I’m not just writing this to vent (okay, mostly to vent). I’m writing this because we need to figure out how to slow the stupidity down before it suffocates us all. Or, at the very least, we need to learn how to laugh at it while we all collectively go down with the ship.

Now, ICE raids? They’re the authoritarian roommate equivalent of storming into your room at 3 a.m. and yelling, “EVERYONE OUT, NOW!” while you’re just trying to watch Netflix in peace. Naturally, people are pissed—and hence, the social media outrage, hence the reinactment of WWII in a city near you.

Here’s the kicker: being pissed off is like COVID—it’s damn catchy! Just like a smile can spread faster than a rumor in a high school cafeteria, the unbelievable bullshit that comes from doing something stupid, getting caught, and then pointing the finger at the cop like they were the ones who parked the car on the sidewalk? Yeah, it’s that stupid.

Seriously, it’s like a viral meme in the world of idiocy. One person’s meltdown can ignite a whole chain reaction of “Hold my beer, watch this!” moments. And trust me, the only thing worse than being the idiot in the spotlight is watching others join the parade of morons. So, let’s all take a moment to appreciate the sheer ridiculousness of it all—because if we don’t laugh, we might just end up crying.

In truth, this book—coming soon!—isn’t just a laugh riot; it’s packed with solid information about why we do the dumb shit we do and, more importantly, how to avoid becoming a useful idiot for the people who’ve mastered the fine art of mindf*cking the masses. Consider it your guide to dodging the bullshit and keeping your sanity intact in a world gone mad.

Riots, however, are protests’ drunk, angry cousin. They start with “Let’s make a point” and quickly turn into “Let’s burn some shit down!” It’s chaos: flipping cars, smashing windows, and, for some, a convenient excuse to loot a Walmart and snag a free TV. For example: LA today. Or yesterday. Or, honestly, pick any random Tuesday in LA. If you’re not sure whether it’s a protest or a riot, just check if there’s a couch on fire in the middle of the street. If yes? Riot. If not? Protest. It’s really that simple.

The ongoing riot in LA is a clusterf*ck of monumental proportions, and it all starts with a weak-ass governor who seems more interested in auditioning for a Netflix drama than actually governing. Gavin Newsom, the self-proclaimed savior of California, is out here juggling riots, forest fires, sky-high taxes, and his dream of forcing everyone into electric vehicles (you know, if you can afford one). At the same time, he hires his official photographer to capture his perfect hair. Oh, and let’s not forget his obsession with wind power—because nothing screams “leadership” like betting the farm on a breeze.

This clownshow thinks he can blog, tweet, and virtue-signal his way into the Oval Office by calling Trump a “loser” every five minutes. Meanwhile, LA is burning, businesses are being looted, and self-driving cars are literally on fire. But sure, Gavin, keep telling us how this is all Trump’s fault while you dare the National Guard to arrest you like you’re starring in some low-budget action movie.

Stay tuned, folks. Because if this is the kind of leadership Newsom’s bringing to the table, 2028 is shaping up to be one hell of a circus.

We’re being told not to believe our lying eyes—apparently, the riot is totally peaceful. But hey, why not ask the people who’ve lost their businesses, been pelted with rocks, or had Molotov cocktails tossed at them how “peaceful” it feels? I’m sure they’d have a different perspective. Were they out there roasting hot dogs on the burning cars? Maybe making s’mores while their livelihoods went up in flames?
Because nothing says “peaceful protest” like shattered windows, looted stores, and a bonfire made out of someone’s Toyota. But sure, let’s just keep pretending it’s all kumbaya and good vibes while the city looks like the set of a post-apocalyptic movie.

Maybe they honestly think it’s just a protest—because, let’s be real, the weed stores out there must have the best stuff. How else do you explain people standing in front of burning buildings, looted stores, and smashed-up cars saying, “Yup, totally peaceful, bro”? Whatever they’re smoking, it’s gotta be next-level.

The book’s clocking in at 120K words of pure, unfiltered chaos and will be hitting the market soon, with zero censorship. Want a front-row seat to the lunacy of our world? Sign up for emails and get ready to laugh, cry, and wonder how the hell we got here. Don’t miss out—because let’s face it, stupidity this good deserves to be shared.

-Best


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