Why We Shouldn’t Be Making Criminals Out of People Who Just Want to Chill?

Let’s talk about SB3, the legislative dumpster fire that tried to ban THC products in Texas.

My blog posts tend to attract people from all walks of life—some who agree, some who don’t, and some who just want to argue for the sake of arguing. And honestly? I welcome it. I’ve always been the kind of person who asks, “What if…?” even when it annoys the hell out of everyone else in the room. But one thing I won’t do is debate emotions. Facts? Sure. Emotions? That’s a fool’s errand, and I don’t have the patience for it.

So, when Governor DeSantis vetoed Florida’s SB 1698, I had a sneaking suspicion Abbott would follow suit with SB3 in Texas. And thank God he did, because SB3 was one of the dumbest pieces of legislation I’ve seen in a while.

Let’s get real for a second: the reasons for creating SB3 made absolutely no sense. Sure, there are people out there who’ve never inhaled (myself included), but that doesn’t mean I’m on some moral crusade to stop others from enjoying a little THC. Just because I want to keep my brain intact doesn’t mean Karen down the street shouldn’t be allowed to eat a gummy and stare at her ceiling fan for three hours.

But SB3 wasn’t about protecting kids or saving society from the horrors of THC. No, this was about money. Specifically, the medical marijuana industry’s money. THC products are cutting into their monopoly on cannabis, and they’re pissed about it. So, what do they do? They whip out their political cudgels and start swinging, convincing lawmakers to support a bill that even a third grader could see was a blatant cash grab.

Let’s be honest: most of the lawmakers who supported SB3 probably didn’t even believe in it. They were likely told, “Support this bill, or your pet project to build a statue of yourself in your hometown is toast.” And because politicians love their vanity projects, they caved faster than a Jenga tower in a hurricane.

The arguments for SB3 were laughable at best. “We need to protect the children!” they cried (cue Sally Struthers) as if kids are out here buying THC gummies in bulk. Newsflash: kids aren’t buying THC products any more than they’re buying alcohol or cigarettes. And if they are, maybe it’s time for parents to step up and, you know, parent.

The reality is, THC products are already regulated. They’re labeled, tested, and sold in stores that follow the law. The only thing SB3 would’ve accomplished is turning law-abiding adults into criminals for choosing a safer alternative to alcohol or opioids.

The Real Impact of SB3

If SB3 had passed, it wouldn’t have just banned THC products—it would’ve destroyed an entire industry. We’re talking about 53,000 jobs and an $8 billion market, gone overnight. Small businesses, farmers, and veterans would’ve been left out in the cold, all because a few politicians wanted to score points with their donors.

And let’s not forget the people who actually need these products. Veterans, for example, have been vocal about how THC helps them manage PTSD, chronic pain, and anxiety without resorting to opioids. One veteran even said, “These gummies saved my life.” But SB3 would’ve turned those same veterans into criminals for using a product that works for them. How’s that for gratitude?

Thankfully, Governor Abbott vetoed SB3, and for once, I have to give him credit. He recognized that the bill was a disaster waiting to happen. In his veto statement, Abbott pointed out that SB3 would’ve been dead on arrival in court because it directly conflicted with federal law. The 2018 Farm Bill legalized hemp products, and SB3 would’ve put Texas on a collision course with the feds.

Abbott also called for a regulatory framework instead of an outright ban. He suggested treating THC like alcohol, with age restrictions, product testing, and local government involvement. Is it perfect? No. But it’s a hell of a lot better than banning THC altogether.

At the end of the day, SB3 wasn’t about protecting kids or public safety. It was about money, power, and control. The medical marijuana industry wanted to crush its competition, and they almost succeeded. But thanks to Abbott’s veto, the hemp industry gets to live another day.

We shouldn’t be making criminals out of people who just want to relax with a little THC. We have bigger problems to deal with—like actual crime, poverty, and the fact that gas prices are still ridiculous. So let’s stop wasting time on stupid shit like SB3 and focus on things that actually matter.

Until then, I’ll be over here, sipping my coffee and wondering how we got to a point where banning THC gummies is treated like solving world hunger. Cheers.

If you haven’t signed up for my emails yet, now’s the time to get your shit together. Seriously, what are you waiting for? A handwritten invitation? My massive book, Stupid Shit, is coming along beautifully—like a fine wine, except it’s more like boxed wine because it’s cheap, accessible, and will probably leave you questioning your life choices. When it drops, I’ll most likely throw it on KDP (Kindle Direct Publishing, for those of you who don’t speak Amazon), so if you’ve got that account, you can read it and laugh your ass off for free. Yes, free. Because I’m generous like that. Or maybe I just want to make sure you have no excuse not to read it. Either way, you’re welcome.

Now, let me tell you about the genius behind this book. I wrote it in bite-sized chunks. Why? Because I know you. I know you’re busy. I know you don’t have time to sit down and read a 500-page manifesto on the stupidity of humanity. But you do have time to read a few pages while you’re doing your business. That’s right, this book is perfect for bathroom reading. When you’re sitting there, regretting every cheese burrito you’ve ever eaten, you can flip through Stupid Shit and laugh while simultaneously wondering why you thought dairy and beans were a good idea. It’s multitasking at its finest.

So, sign up for the emails. Stay tuned. And prepare yourself for a book that will make you laugh so hard you might just need to buy some extra toilet paper.

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