Crazy Stuff

So my neighborhood has some new social media outlet which facilitates neighbors actually communicating with each other via the computer or phone or what have. Lord knows that we would not want to actually see them and talk with them in person…  So, we have invented a way to become even more xenophobic.

One of the recent post regarded “wrong way parking.”

Essentially; if you are on the right side of the street your car must be within a few inches of the curb, actually facing the way the car would be traveling if it were in motion, which it is not; but just in case, it must be facing the correct way.

New Rule, no one with OCD can work in any areas of government that make up stupid rules for others to follow.  My desk is messy and I like it that way!

It is actually funny because this post has generated a lot of interests.  People are actually concerned about which way you park your car.  What’s next; you can only drive a certain make and model of car that is of the same color as everyone else’s.  They could be color coded for which street you live on!

If we don’t call people out on this shit you may very well have rules like this; your grass must be cut on the same day of the week as everyone else’s and it should be no more than 1.27 inches in length and no less than 1.26.

All trees must be no taller than 30 feet and all of the leaves that are not green must be removed and bagged accordingly, we will not tolerate loose leafs blowing down the road.

 All homes must have 2.5 bathrooms, be of similar build and color and be no closer to the street than 40 feet and no further from the street than 40 feet 1 inch.

 This is just nuts.  As long as you get your car far enough off the driving surface of the road, who gives a rat’s ass which way it is facing!  Me personally, if I had a hummer, I would do this.  I would purchase a large boulder and place it in my front yard, than I would put the hummer half way up the boulder and park it.

It is also interesting to me that people will ask for recommendations for auto repair or carpet cleaning or what have you, the responses are illuminating to say the least.

For instance, someone asked for a recommendation regarding auto repair for a specific model and make of car.

The mechanics that got the most recommendations were the people who work on commission!  The more shit that they sell you, the more money that they get!  I guess they are really good at what they do because these people were adamant about selling you on their guy vs. someone else.  My guess is that these folks are a franchise chain and the advertising dollars spent selling that brand has more people going there instead of seeking out the independents.

Some of the other conversations include protracted discussions about pets, stuff they want to get rid of and get this, strange vehicles driving through the neighborhood.

Not only are we becoming xenophobic but paranoid.  This really happened.  A delivery vehicle drives down the street with some company logo on the truck and it is a “strange vehicle.”  I just know the police love getting these calls.

I was walking the neighborhood last year as it was a pretty day.  I was just walking the sidewalk enjoying the day when a cop stopped me.  When he motioned me to his car I laughed and said, “Was I speeding?”  He was not amused.

You got to be kidding me; I can’t walk the sidewalk in my own neighborhood without some Gladys Cravats calling the police!  I live there!  Good thing that I had my ID and could prove that I was indeed a resident.  Oh yes, my teenage daughter was walking with me, so I know we must have looked like criminals…

Your mileage may vary but as for me, I think I want to move to the country where I don’t have someone peeking out their curtain at me; watching my every move.

But, text me sometime and say hi… Don’t bother to actually come out of your house and shake my hand, I might bite!

Yep, country living, front porch, iced tea and an old dog to keep me company.

Saw a funny post the other day that fits.  It is a picture of Clint Eastwood as Dirty Harry, I think, with the wording, “too many assholes and not enough bullets.”







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