Tag: people

Who are You?

Who are You?

I updated my smart phone once again, and yet another $900 out of my wallet to keep up with the pimple faced urchins roaming the mall. You know the ones, the 4 foot nothing loud talking kind, with the powerful Swiss-knife of computer devices hanging out of their ass pocket, in shorts so tight that the phone can only go in part of the way.

When they are talking to their friends, there is the distinct smell of some god awful flavored gum; with what they think smells good perfume or body lotion, or what have you…anyway you get the picture.

My address book has managed to grow in parallel my with my disdain for managing said address book.

Today a friend “new friend” added her name to my list of contacts, as I promised I would send her some information on a particular subject that we had been discussing.

I allowed her to add it, as we were in an environment that was ill equipped for parsing data of a personal nature amongst other ears, which might find that information handy.

While we shook hands as she introduced herself, I discovered my penchant for remembering names is, well less than adequate for the task at hand.

Hours later I sat at my desk and found the information that I promised to transmit to her via these wonderful $900 dollar rolodex devices, when the issue of not managing my phone book for the last twenty five (25) years, came home to roost!

Who was she, what was her name?

Frantically I scanned my contacts trying to figure out who was not there earlier that day. There are well over a thousand contacts in that book, including some Democratic voters, you know the kind, they live six feet under the ground… “Yes Cemeterians!” I have many Cemeterians still in my phone book! Why, it is not like they are going to call me, or I them! If they do, the long distance charges will be incredible; talk about roaming charges!

The older you get, or putting it nicely, the longer that you trod the sod, your rolodex ends up with many who call the cemetery their home. Removing them from the rolls of your friend list, to me seems “final!” If I don’t remove them, than they are not forgotten.

While there may be some logic in that, the real dilemma came to light as the perfect juxtaposition of figuring out who was still alive and who was not; hit home.

Then there is this quandary of, who are all these other people?

I have to sit down and figure out how to create groups of personal, family, clients and vendors to start off with, and then categorize all of these folks and of course create a column for cemeterians..

Yes, I could simply delete them but that is just it, isn’t it, “delete.” How do you delete your parents, or close friends, or even relatives that you only spoke to once or twice a year?

Then there is this group of social media friends.

I have often thought that with all of this poking that goes on FaceBook, that someone should really be buying drinks, but that is another story.

FaceBook, and other forms of social media brings a whole new aspect to “friends” into the mix. Some of you reading this now, know of me, and how I think through these words. If you have followed me, chances are good that I have looked at your blog “if you have one,” and followed you so, we may actually know one another better than those who mention your name on FaceBook every now and then.

I solved the missing name by calling someone who was in the conversation and untangled the problem but, that sparked my desire to manage my contacts better. As an IT guy for 35 plus years who has sold and installed more CRM packages than I can count, one would think that I would have done something a little more OCD, prior to this!

Outlook is actually a pretty good CRM package if used correctly, and in that data base, I actually put all sorts of notes in there so if my memory needs a little assist; I have it there.

Speaking of smartphones, I just upgraded and now, today I learn that they are coming out with yet another new on in September! Are you kidding me!

These things start out at most probably $30 a unit to produce, and by the time you get to buy them they are $900 financed through your phone carrier at $40 a month for the life of the phone.

Now, if I had to make another guess, I would guess that the carrier actually buys them from Apple, or Samsung, or whoever, at a discounted price (or you are paying an inflated price) to make up for the “no finance charges.” There is no way in hell that these things are worth $900 plus tax! Oh, and if you trade your two year old phone in, you know, the one that was $900 18 months ago; it is now worth about $100 or less….

Since they no longer discount the phone, why the hell should I purchase a phone that is locked into that carrier!? If I am having to pay full freight, should I not be able to purchase a phone that can work on any other GSM network?

So, if you can live with older technology, buy last year’s model on eBay for a couple of hundred dollars and either go month to month, or find the cheapest carrier you can manage.

The problem I see with the older technology is, each and every update they do to the IOS, the phone slows down! What was perfectly acceptable when new is now slower than dirt, locks up or behaves erratically. Is this designed obsolescence?

Schick invented the disposable razor, which was one of the first, if not the first throw away razors and now we have, throw-away phones.

Unlike the phone or the razor, my friends as evidenced in this little diatribe, are not throw away, even the Cemeterians are near and dear to me.

-Best

Communication 101, the Mirror and You

Text vs. phone vs. talking in person.

This is not a new subject but one that deserves attention.

Recently I was reading and posting on a social forum and recognized that people were not picking up on sarcasm or someone’s attempt at humor vs. someone being totally sincere in their opinion.

When one person does not pick up on some sort of queue and responds in kind the entire thread turns bitter and quite frankly is a perfect example of the human condition.

There are two issues at play here, one is that people miss a queue and assume the worst.

The other is that some out of “being anonymous” just show the worst side of themselves. This in turn begets more sarcasm, name calling and just downright ugliness.

Any post with a long thread; this type of thing will come up.

People either want to assume the worst or look for a reason to be pissed about something and then respond to it in like fashion. Political correctness is one such way that anyone can be offended at any time they want, then feel all righteous about it and rant.

I for one would like to see the anonymous post go away. I think you should have to let the world know who you are when you post so if you choose to be a jerk, at least the world knows that you have a proclivity towards such behavior and not put much weight on what you are saying or just not even read your post.

If you will notice that when you are waiting in line at a restaurant or ride at some amusement park or even the bank, most are polite and await there turn. They may even strike up a conversation with you about the weather or some such thing. I am one of those that will do that not only in line but on an elevator as well.

The interesting thing is that people hide behind their glasses; their blank stare and the very clothing that they wear; are much like some sort of shield against the world.

Online or in your car your shield expands and you can drive aggressively or rant your thoughts or opinion on a subject with little or no fore-thought. I see this all the time where people sound off on some subject with little or no facts, they just want to be heard! Some actually use words as a weapon to hurt people, just to do it.

You see it to when people cut you off on the freeway or other surface road just to get one car length ahead of you, maybe causing you to miss the light that they should have missed, but now you did.

When you talk on a social forum or blog or what have you, type as though you are having a conversation with the people in a room with you. When you expound upon your thoughts, do so in a manner that is respectful of all of those who might be reading it. Do not respond to idiots! If they choose to make an ass of themselves, ignore them. Ignored behavior goes away.

I would implore you to drive in a similar fashion. Any good manager knows to lead by example. Drive like you would like others to drive. If 90 seconds extra at a light is that big of a deal, leave the house 90 seconds earlier. Too many people cause accidents trying to beat a light, yellow means stop if you are not already in the intersection, and can stop without being in the middle of the intersection. (Always look in the rearview first however; as there are many that will run you over as red does not even mean stop to them.)

Emoticons are a great way to let the world key into your feelings on a subject. A smiley face will give the reader the idea that you are trying to be funny or what have you and it will elicit a different response from the reader that may have otherwise taken offence to your remark.

The emoticon replaces the one to one facial queues that one misses in face to face communication and it also replaces the laugh or humor in your voice.

Toxic people and boundaries.

Lastly, stop looking for a reason to be offended. Pollyanna had the correct idea. What you look for you will find. You will shorten your life and have a miserable life at that if you are constantly on the lookout for things to be pissed about. There are people out there that will piss you off simply for their own amusement. Don’t fall into that trap and avoid them.

I stay away from Toxic people and I don’t invest my time and energy on those that enjoy being a victim or offended or look for political incorrectness just so they can be offended.

They are only hurting themselves. If you climb onto their pity train then you too will become despondent over things that you really don’t have a dog in that fight.

There is this principle of boundaries. Where friends or associates are concerned we need to stay alert to the place that they are in and be prepared to push them away. You can pray for them, loan them a good self help book and even listen to them if you choose but, don’t own their shit. What they are going through is theirs! Councilors go through years of training to learn how not to own their clients shit! They themselves have to go through counseling to make sure that their head stays on straight. What are the odds that you can counsel people without the training and not start to own their shit!?

I liken boundaries to the orbits of the planets around the sun. For the sake of argument you are the sun. Mercury is you closest friend, Venus is next and then Earth, Mars you get the idea.

Mercury is your closest confidant which should be your spouse. Venus may be your longtime friend that you share things with.

Let’s say that Venus has something going on their life that affects you and they are unwilling to help themselves which in turn brings you down. Don’t push them out of the solar system but do push them out past Mars or even Jupiter for a while.

If you can help them without owning their shit than by all means help them, otherwise push them out until they get their act together. There is no shame in seeking counseling and in this complicated world we live in that might be a great profession to be in as this world is a messed up place.

I am not telling you to abandon your friend. I am telling you to advise them to get help and if they don’t or wont, than you need to keep them at a safe distance. No one is immune to this “shit owning” and there is no sense in making their issues yours.

Many people, who never look into the mirror, blame their lot on life on someone else or some circumstance. It is always easy to blame someone else. Next time you want to do that, go look into the mirror and blame that person. Odds are incredibly good that the person in the mirror is the one that did it. The person in the mirror needs to examine themselves and make some course correction as to not be the problem.

Use Emoticons
Don’t be part of the problem
Don’t look for things to be pissed off about
Text and drive (not at the same time) like the people around you are your neighbors
Look for the good in people and not the bad
Stay away from Toxic people
Look in the mirror and seek counseling for that person in the mirror if they need it.

Now go take on the day!

-Best to you and those that you care about!

Political Football

Finding the words to express my distaste of the media’s proclivity for ratings, at the expense of so many simply overwhelms me at times. If ever you were in doubt that we are a fallen people, watch the news!

What happened here in Texas and yesterday in Oklahoma is and was terrible. When we learn that someone or a group of someone’s decided that they did not want to spend the money on safe rooms for schools in OKLAHOMA (known for tornadoes,) is beyond comprehension! Criminal charges should be filed. Stupidity should be criminal…. Especially if you are in a position to make decisions like this!

I read a tweet today that some people are so stupid that they should turn pro at it… Kind of fits here.

Today on the floor of the US senate some democrat senator turned the whole thing in to a political football using his time to push for cap and trade, blaming global warming / cooling on this recent weather. These people should be so ashamed of themselves! I truthfully don’t know how they can look at themselves in the mirror in the morning. Don’t confuse weather with global climate.. There are no supporting facts scientific or otherwise to sustain this. The only “Facts” that have ever been displayed were later shown to be falsified to fit an agenda of selling carbon credits of which would drive the cost of goods and services up. In laymen’s terms you would pay for the carbon credit; that would go into some politician’s pocket, much like the Freon debacle of the 80’s.

Even if there were supporting evidence, do you really think that you can legislate China or Korea or other countries to “clean air,” water etc policies? Why in the hell do you think that our companies go over seas? They do it to get away from the EPA, OSHA, crippling taxes and other rules and regulations that we (you) impose on industry. And oh yes, they pay slave wages to their people as well. We do everything to drive business out of this country and then blame capitalism. Can’t we strike a happy medium? Evidently not, Government types who make the laws, well they have a job / salary / and really good health care plans for life, what do they care? Let me answer that for you, they don’t! If it puts money into their pocket they care, that is it.

To put it in our president’s words, “it’s the process and it is messy!” As an

American I can tell you, if that is the process, it needs to be changed! The whole damned mess of them needs to be fired, until they listen to the people.

We the People…We the people are their boss. They work for us! Someone needs to remind them of that and my friends you do that with your vote! The process sucks Mr. President, and it needs to be changed! Lead for once and change the process, do what is right for the country and not for your agenda, or your party! It is time that we do things to bring this country back together as Americans, and not rich vs. poor, black vs. white or any other derisive activities that have been perpetrated on the people to fit an agenda of divide and conquer!

When the chips are down, you can see who we are. When we put our “politics” aside to help our fellow man, you can see who we are. Does it really take devastation and heartache to wake people up to the simple fact, that we are all one people?

“Father, we lift up the people of Oklahoma and all of the other victims of the recent storms. We pray fervently for wisdom for our elected officials that they may be humbled out of their ivory towers; long enough to waken them from their delusions that they are somehow equal to you lord. We give thanks for those who have selflessly given of their money, time and energy to help those in need. Please watch over us and keep us humble as well lord, so we do not fall victim to the plight of those who have been given so much power that they have lost sight of who they are, and what they are there for. Father, place your arms around those that have lost so much in recent days and comfort them. Bring people into their lives to assist them through this time and in the days ahead. Awaken the people who decide things like “which school or building gets a safe room and which do not.” as it is not their decision, which life is more precious than another lord. In your sons name…Amen..”