Who are You?

Who are You?

Who are You?

I updated my smart phone once again, and yet another $900 out of my wallet to keep up with the pimple faced urchins roaming the mall.  You know the ones, the 4 foot nothing loud talking kind, with the powerful Swiss-knife of computer devices hanging out of their ass pocket, in shorts so tight that the phone can only go in part of the way.

When they are talking to their friends, there is the distinct smell of some god awful flavored gum; with what they think smells good perfume or body lotion, or what have you…anyway you get the picture.

My address book has managed to grow in parallel my with my disdain for managing said address book.

Today a friend “new friend” added her name to my list of contacts, as I promised I would send her some information on a particular subject that we had been discussing.

I allowed her to add it, as we were in an environment that was ill equipped for parsing data of a personal nature amongst other ears, which might find that information handy.

While we shook hands as she introduced herself, I discovered my penchant for remembering names is, well less than adequate for the task at hand.

Hours later I sat at my desk and found the information that I promised to transmit to her via these wonderful $900 dollar rolodex devices, when the issue of not managing my phone book for the last twenty five (25) years, came home to roost!

Who was she, what was her name?

Frantically I scanned my contacts trying to figure out who was not there earlier that day.  There are well over a thousand contacts in that book, including some Democratic voters, you know the kind, they live six feet under the ground… “Yes Cemeterians!”  I have many Cemeterians still in my phone book!  Why, it is not like they are going to call me, or I them!  If they do, the long distance charges will be incredible; talk about roaming charges!

The older you get, or putting it nicely, the longer that you trod the sod, your rolodex ends up with many who call the cemetery their home.  Removing them from the rolls of your friend list, to me seems “final!”  If I don’t remove them, than they are not forgotten.

While there may be some logic in that, the real dilemma came to light as the perfect juxtaposition of figuring out who was still alive and who was not; hit home.

Then there is this quandary of, who are all these other people?

I have to sit down and figure out how to create groups of personal, family, clients and vendors to start off with, and then categorize all of these folks and of course create a column for cemeterians..

Yes, I could simply delete them but that is just it, isn’t it, “delete.”  How do you delete your parents, or close friends, or even relatives that you only spoke to once or twice a year?

Then there is this group of social media friends.

I have often thought that with all of this poking that goes on FaceBook, that someone should really be buying drinks, but that is another story.

FaceBook, and other forms of social media brings a whole new aspect to “friends” into the mix.  Some of you reading this now, know of me, and how I think through these words.   If you have followed me, chances are good that I have looked at your blog “if you have one,” and followed you so, we may actually know one another better than those who mention your name on FaceBook every now and then.

I solved the missing name by calling someone who was in the conversation and untangled the problem but, that sparked my desire to manage my contacts better. As an IT guy for 35 plus years who has sold and installed more CRM packages than I can count, one would think that I would have done something a little more OCD, prior to this!

Outlook is actually a pretty good CRM package if used correctly, and in that data base, I actually put all sorts of notes in there so if my memory needs a little assist; I have it there.

Speaking of smartphones, I just upgraded and now, today I learn that they are coming out with yet another new on in September!  Are you kidding me!

These things start out at most probably $30 a unit to produce, and by the time you get to buy them they are $900 financed through your phone carrier at $40 a month for the life of the phone.

Now, if I had to make another guess, I would guess that the carrier actually buys them from Apple, or Samsung, or whoever, at a discounted price (or you are paying an inflated price) to make up for the “no finance charges.”  There is no way in hell that these things are worth $900 plus tax! Oh, and if you trade your two year old phone in, you know, the one that was $900 18 months ago; it is now worth about $100 or less….

Since they no longer discount the phone, why the hell should I purchase a phone that is locked into that carrier!?  If I am having to pay full freight, should I not be able to purchase a phone that can work on any other GSM network?

So, if you can live with older technology, buy last year’s model on eBay for a couple of hundred dollars and either go month to month, or find the cheapest carrier you can manage.

The problem I see with the older technology is, each and every update they do to the IOS, the phone slows down!  What was perfectly acceptable when new is now slower than dirt, locks up or behaves erratically.  Is this designed obsolescence?

Schick invented the disposable razor, which was one of the first, if not the first throw away razors and now we have, throw-away phones.

Unlike the phone or the razor, my friends as evidenced in this little diatribe, are not throw away, even the Cemeterians are near and dear to me.

-Best

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