Author: The Timedok

Netflix Scam

No Netflix is not the problem, a phishing scam, however, is out that you should be aware of.

Since so many of us now receive our entertainment over the internet, it is a good gamble that you might have Netflix.

Again many of us have it set up to bill once a month from some sort of banking institution whether it be your bank, credit card or PayPal. The e-mail looks like it came from Netflix until you look a little closer at the sent from.

Netflix AT dallas180.arvixeshared.com (don’t e-mail to it…)

You will notice it is not Netflix.com

The message is telling you that they were unable to get your payment info and if you don’t update the info soon you will lose Netflix.

Then, of course, there is a link that they want you to follow.

God only knows how many will fall for this. Considering it was sent to tens of thousands you can bet a percentage will click and update. Always check to see that the sending e-mail is legitimate. IE Netflix.com and, hover over the link and make sure it stays Netflix.com and not something like I posted.

If you question it at all, call the institution or get online, not following any link from an e-mail and check for yourself. Once they get money from your account, if that is indeed their ploy it will be gone. The ploy could simply be to get you to click so they can put some sort of virus or cookie on your computer. E-mail is an excellent way to get infected, and because the scheme requires input from you, your protection might just allow it.

Practice safe computing… -Best

Hidden White House camera catches Trump’s leaker!

Did I get you to click, did I get your attention?

Many have e-mailed me asking where I have been as my phone has been busy. What I just did with that title is called phishing. No, I am not infecting you, as the matter of fact if you read this you might very well be better off!

Had I said something even more audacious using Ivanka’s name and Nude in that title more of you would have clicked.

Those that write worms and Trojans and other malevolent spyware know how to prey upon your weakness. They studied the human heart enough to know that we cannot resist a story like this, especially if it is something negative about Trump. They manipulate you through your emotions.

Once you click on a link, many firewalls and antivirus software’s will assume that you know what you are doing and let you click, thus screwing up your computer and possibly give you something to “wannacry” about.

Yes, I specialize in disaster recovery, but if someone has not taken me or someone like myself up on these services before the crises and they suffer a loss, They might want to cry!

CIO’s and their teams must provide the company with several layers of protection which includes the best anti-virus software on the market. It includes making sure that all systems are patched and up to date. The companies that are the most vulnerable are the companies who take IT and what it does for granted, not supplying them the resources that they might need. These businesses that have someone in their IT department who is lackluster in keeping up with updates is another. Maybe they fail to stay informed of threats making their company fair game for the people inside the castle who click on the shiny red button or trinket of knowledge; looking for scandalous information on a person that they hate or a nude picture of their daughter or wife.

Human nature is predictable which is what the evil dudes depend on. You too know human nature if you are a human. There are few good surprises in business and even fewer in the IT industry. Vigilance on your IT crews part must be elevated as the threats are more dangerous and more frequent.

I have an article called Attention CEO-CIO and so forth, read that. I don’t want to waste my time writing it all over again. It is full of good information.

Develop and test a DR plan.

Use technology only to give your employees access to what they need and not what they want. Be judicious with updates, checking of logs and the software that is in your domain.

What is on each PC?
Do they need it?
Do you have licenses for it?
Do you have that software updated and in a vault in case the worst happens?

Using a program like Spiceworks not only can you account for all of your hardware but you can get a listing of every executable on each PC. This information is an eye-opener. Frequently the CEO will ask, what do they need that for?

That is a good question, but the real wake-up calls are, is it legal? What is it and where did it come from? What does it do?

I find remote control software on PC’s that is waiting for some remote PC to dial in and take over the PC which if left attached to the network, lets the villain into everything!

This is where I have been and will most likely be again as the threats are more often now than ever before.

Those of you that follow my blog know of what I speak. Vigilance is not a nice thing if you have time. Attention to Security is mandatory. It is much easier and cheaper to fix what you have now vs. trying to restore what you have with an untested backup solution.

“How do I do that, we don’t have time?”

If that is your answer, you probably ought not to be where you are at.

Hire a technical crew (preferably from your vendors which you should have a relationship with) give them the backups in an offsite facility designed for such things and tell them to restore your company.

You have a person there to take notes, but not to assist them, for practical reasons that man went under the bus with the rest of your IT employees. When they get your company “live;” you then bring in a Skelton crew. Have them perform their functions at that site, and again take notes.

I can almost guarantee it will never get to the point of your employees headed to the hot site to test things unless of course, you are one of the few who is vigilant.

The purpose of the exercise is to figure out what the deficits are and then create a plan to fix it.

“Our stuff is configured so that we would need to be there to make it work?”

I have seen it, and that is not smart. Best Practice is around for that reason. Your company must be using “best practice methodologies” as those are what SME’s will be expecting. You don’t want some outside firm to guess at what you have done and try to put band-aids on stuff. In the event, your IT folks do get hit by the bus you want to be able to hire SME’s and have them quickly take your documentation and step in, while your IT guy recovers or you replace him or her.

Don’t fall for bogus click baits
Don’t surf the web carelessly at work
No Nigerian prince wants to give you money
The IRS will not send you an E-mail telling you to look at this attachment.
Buy install and maintain the best antivirus on the market.
Have an inventory of your purchased software, know where the licenses are and the updated software disk.

“I just download the software when I need it.”

“Your internet is down, and will not be restored for three weeks…where is that software going to come from?”

Just when I think I have seen and heard it all, I am amazed at the stupidity or ignorance that abounds in this industry. Folks, if your ego cannot afford to look at how you are doing things, possibly you are in the wrong job.

I had finished advising a client recently and was still in earshot when I hear the CIO tell his boss that I was not correct and making too much out of it! WTF! This guy was so egocentric or afraid for his job that his ego could not handle the fact that he was wrong about so many things that he lied to his boss and put the company in harm’s way! I was not wrong!

Look, I have no dog in the fight! I am going to call them as I see them and what you do after that is on you. If your IT guy hung the moon; good for you! When the feces hits the rotating oscillator, I would love to be a fly on the wall when he tries to talk his way out of it.

A short story totally out of left field is this. We have all seen drivers text or do something with that smartphone going down the road. If you haven’t maybe you are texting and driving and I am talking about you!

Driving up 45 from Houston, during a thunderstorm, there was this fuel truck, 18 wheeler doing the dance. You know the dance where they are all over their lane occasionally dipping into the next lane or possibly onto the shoulder. I saw him in my mirror as he was advancing close to me. Getting out of his way, I noticed as he passed me that yes, he had his phone in his hand.

This was a fuel truck; you know the kind with the volatile product in it! Slowing way the hell down I let him pass. Ten miles down the road there he was, stuck in the ditch. He ran off the shoulder into the rain-soaked ditch and buried it! Now, this could have been so much worse!

“Do you think he called his boss and said.” Funny thing, I was texting my wife a grocery list and the next thing you know I am stuck in the ditch, isn’t that a knee slapper?”

“No, he will tell him that someone cut him off and if he has an otherwise good track record his boss will buy the lie!”

IT guys with ego problems are like that, as was this one guy. Trust but verify!

Look at that other article and ask your folks some of those questions and see what they say.

Hope you don’t WANNACRY and that all of your employees don’t click on stupid things.

-Best

How often Should I Change the Ribbon

By far this is the most often asked question when I am speaking with a customer.

First things first, however. There are three different types of ribbon for your consideration.

By “type of ribbon,” I mean what fabric was used.

Nylon
Cotton
Silk

Nylon, most probably the least expensive of the three has plusses and minuses.

Nylon takes more abuse but, does not hold as much ink as some others.

Cotton, also not the most expensive holds much more ink for a longer period. However, Cotton pulverizes much easier than Nylon.

Silk, the most expensive of the three holds together longer and is in the middle of the road as far as its ability to retain ink.

“Great, there are three types, which one do I need?”

There are a few different factors to consider.

Your average humidity. The moisture in ink will evaporate much faster in Arizona, than Florida, for example.

“Why do I care about how fast the moisture evaporates?”

The medium for the ink is the moisture. When the ribbon is dry, the quality of the print is diminished. Also, it is my contention that the moisture from the ink assist in lubricating the type section allowing it to wear much slower than pure metal on metal.

Pulverization

As the solenoid under the type section rises to strike the type section, it places the imprint on the document of the date, time and whatever other information you may have on your individual plates.

Each time it does this, it breaks the bonds in the fabric a little, which is the ribbons substrate or media which holds the actual ink.

During the ribbons life cycle, the spooling mechanism rolls the fabric back and forth as it nears the end. Several passes of the ribbon are possibly before the ribbon should be replaced.

I tell customers to make an imprint right after they change the ribbon. Take that example hang it by your machine somewhere.

Much like the brakes on your car, you have no idea that from the get go they are performing less efficiently until one day you hear the ubiquitous squeal from a metal warning indicator telling you to service your brakes. Each day they wear just a little bit more and stop just a little less efficiently.

Your ribbon from day one slowly loses ink, and before you know it, you are not able to clearly see the imprint.

“Why is this a problem, I want to get the most out of the ribbon I can!”

“No, no you don’t. Most of you are scanning or imaging your documents. That means that the original text must be legible. Since most scanners do not get 100% of the original “value” or the image darkness, the original needs to be as dark and definite as possible.” Secondly using a ribbon too long will cause pulverization of the substrate. If you have ever looked inside your Rapidprint or Widmer file date stamper and seen “gunk” in the wheels or plates. That is from ribbon fragments and paper dust bound together with ink as the glue.”

Do not try this at home!

Many of you have attempted to clean this yourself. Once you try this, quickly you will see the error in your way. Using an old toothbrush and alcohol should be an easy task! There is a reason that I do very little service in the field. One customer did this and told me of the experience. I did not mean to laugh but, the walls appeared as though an inkwell blew up. Her clothes, desk and anything within proximity was spotted with ink.

Never mind the mess that this process makes here is the real bugaboo. When cleaning the machine, you take the oils and other chemicals away which lubricate the wheels and mechanism.

I disassemble each machine after cleaning it replacing the worn parts, and then I replace the lubricants.

For these to function properly the tolerances are critical. Some have tried to replace parts by themselves to find they got into more than they bargained for.

If the machine full of gunk is left untreated, the mechanism will wear faster, and the imprint will not be clear but smeared as the letters like “O” will be filled in and appear as a large dot instead of an “o.” The same applies to the numbers 0 or 6 or 8 or 9 and any other letter than has a closed circle of some sort.

Since these machines can cost up to $1000 each, it is a super good idea to have them serviced occasionally.

Changing the ribbon when the print starts to get too light is also a good idea.

At TimeDok we sell and service these machine and have done so since 1995.

If you purchase a dozen or more ribbons from me at one time, I pick up the shipping.

In summary, Silk is the most robust ribbon for those of you who don’t like to change them as often as you should.

Cotton will render the best print image but will pulverize and needs to be changed when the print gets too light.

Nylon is less expensive than Silk and does hold up better than cotton but will not last as long as cotton or silk.

One of the other things I see too often is this. “The spooler is not working!”

Go here and check this out before you send me your machine

http://www.timedok.com/Support.html

The other guys won’t tell you that…

While I actually want your business, I don’t want it under false pretense. Many times the ribbon was installed improperly, and it will not spool if it is.

Follow me on Linked In or check out my website at www.timedok.com.

“Is it feasible to use Timedok for my service as I am not in Texas?”

If you can get UPS to come to your location then yes. I currently have customers in all 50 states and in some of its territories.

Call or write for details. Many times a machine will just show up with no advanced warning from a new customer. That is ok too but, a heads up would be nice so I can get to know you a little and vice versa.

http://www.timedok.com/contact.html

A commentary on Social Media

The recent ouster of Bill Oreilly from Fox news was surprising. We have no idea what goes on behind the closed doors of the executive suites at Fox. We have no clue what has transpired if anything between the popular opinion show host, and his co-workers or guests.

There is the talk of a $13 million dollar payoff to five women.

Do we know for a fact that it happened?

My point is not to try the case of Bill’s behavior at the workplace. The simple facts are, we have no facts!

What we do know, there is a long history of people becoming targets who are in the public eye. How many times has someone been accused of saying or doing something untoward that was not true? Too many to count.

In this country, we are innocent until proven guilty.

Read that last statement again and reflect on that. The people, and I use the word “people” on social media loosely, have tried and convicted a man with no evidence, only hearsay! Whether the man is innocent or guilty is not the point. The point is that we want to believe the worst of someone who we take umbrage with. The tweets and comments on social media show the absolute worst side of our nature, for all the world to see. He had the number one rated show on cable news for over 20 years! Do you think that was a fluke!?

Not only are we so polarized that we cannot even be polite to someone who might have a different view than we do but, we scorn and scoff at anyone who is not ready to lynch Bill and everyone else that works for Fox. There were many threats aimed at other hosts who work for Fox today. Is that the way we work now. I thought we did not like Bullies, when did that change?

I expect this kind of rhetoric on Twitter. The Twitter-verse where anything goes, and there are no real names associated with your vile forms of contempt. I expect it on Facebook which is, after all, social media but there, a name is associated with your opinions and, we can assume that your audience knows you!

I do not condone it however and block much of it, as I would rather not see the hatred which is spewing out from many who are still not happy with the election results.

I was genuinely shocked to see this on Linked In, however. To witness the vitriolic, hateful rhetoric from people who use this form of media to obtain employment and or showcase to the perspective employers of the world how employable they are is just outrageous! It is like piercing and tattooing your face, and trying to get a job as a model for Vogue. After you are disqualified for obvious reasons, you then sue them for discrimination. Where did you graduate from that you think this is ok?

As a manager for most of my professional life, I must tell you that I look on the internet before I hire. After all the hurdles that one must jump through even to get an interview, do you think it wise to display your ignorance and your small minded demeanor for the entire world to see?

Linked In is not Facebook. Linked in is a professional network which is not the place to air your witlessness.

It makes little difference how you “feel” about a TV personality. To bloviate incessantly in a pejorative manner is ill advised on any media, much less Linked In.

-Best

When is the right time to think about Disaster Recovery?

Spring rains bring on more than just flowers or in my case, weeds. The phone started ringing early the other morning. My coffee was still brewing when the continuous ring of the phone demanded me instead of the regular answering service.

It would seem that lightning hit a pole close to one of my clients.

Lightning is far from respectful of your deadlines or the amount of work that your staff has lined up to accomplish. From simple power outages to fire, lightning all by itself is a disaster in the making. Some simple steps ahead of time can keep your company from being a victim to what this client was.

One girl had her headset in when the lightning struck and was shocked. Happily, she is ok, but their systems were not so fortunate. Had the grounding been worse; she may have been the path to ground.

Once the power was restored the server, router, and switch, did not recover.

The one machine on a UPS died as the power went out.

What went wrong?

Surge protectors have a finite lifetime. People buy these power strips with surge protectors and forget about them. Surge protectors are nothing more than a power strip with something in them known as a “Metal Oxide Varistor or MOV.”

Any power surge above an acceptable voltage is clamped or shorted to ground by this device. The problem is the MOV only last so long before it no longer functions. Every time there is any spike in the line from compressors shutting off to other electronic “noise” these components are adversely affected.

What is better?”

A UPS of enough wattage to allow the computer to be safely powered down in the event of a power failure. Along with the backup power ability, these devices have more sophisticated line conditioning circuitry protecting your equipment from stray voltage spikes.

One note to remember, these too only last so long before they must at least be maintained, or replaced. Any CIO worth his salt is familiar with Hardware asset management and has this is mind for his budget. CEO’s hate surprises like unexpected expenses. It is much easier to argue a budgeted expense than going hat in hand begging forgiveness for your ineptitude.

Suffer a catastrophe like this client, hope your boss does not hire someone like me to do a root cause analysis.

At the very least batteries must be changed out but keep in mind that an MOV is also part of that piece of hardware. I would budget the replacement of a UPS, rather than just the batteries if it were me.

Unless you have electrical engineers on staff, who are qualified to re-certify that equipment, it is too cheap not just to replace it.

Along with outdated hardware or not enough of it, I have seen too many times the ground plug defeated to save a dollar from an electrician. Those ground plugs are there for your protection, not because someone wanted to make it difficult for you. The problem with temporary is all too often it becomes permanent.

Lightning struck outside one of my client’s offices hitting a pine tree. Finding the electrical ground for the building, which was poorly grounded, everything in the building suffered a power surge knocking out much of their equipment.

Many times, building management will only do what is necessary by code and leave the gamble up to you the tenant.

Depending upon your location, achieving a good ground could be difficult. The type of soil must is taken into account among other things. Again, depending upon your location, you might want to invest in grounding your building with lightning protection equipment including lightning rods or now they call them “air terminals.” The idea is to have some amount of confidence that if lightning hits, it will strike your planned target and be dissipated safely into the earth.

Since all computer equipment and now phones are wired through the network, this last customer lost computers and phones along with the network infrastructure.

Failure to plan is planning to fail.

The cost of the hardware and time to repair was minimal, compared to the amount of time the company was out of business.

Insurance will only get you so far. As these spring storms fire up, there is a real element of danger to your building, business and, like the one young lady found out, to her person. Had proper grounding been utilized I doubt the girl would have felt the shock in her ears.

While a tested, reliable disaster recovery plan will allow you to sleep at night, preventing the disaster in the first place is what you should shoot for. That starts with planning.

From your building security to network security, right down to protecting your infrastructure from mother nature, accounting for every contingency is paramount.

Truth told, there are seldom good surprises in business. Mitigating the surprises with proper planning can prevent poor performance. Asking “what if” is key to any plan. Weighing cost vs. probability allows anyone with some business acumen to make sound decisions without breaking the bank. Understanding the risks, are the starting point.

-Best

What do I do when?

If I had a nickel for every time that someone asked me this, I might very well be in Bora Bora or the Maldives working on a tan after that wicked winter that we did not have.

While I stress good anti-virus software such as Eset, no one program is the “Silver Bullet!” You must have some computer smarts when accessing the internet.

When we traverse the back alleys and the main thoroughfares of the “information highway,” it is imperative that we employ a little common sense.

I have written extensively about what to do and not to do in the past, but this latest phone call was rather unique.

While navigating the highways and byways sometimes, we are thrown a curve. Much like a roundabout in a city that does not have them, ever!

“What do I do if a dialogue box appears and it is in some other language?”

You are either surfing the internet or on Twitter or some other app and all of the sudden a dialogue box appears with prominent places to click but, the writing is in a language that you don’t recognize, what do you do?

“If you don’t know the answer to this send, me a nickel.” I am joking but can you imagine someone spending .50 cents to send me a nickel? I guess I could do a PayPal donation button. 🙂

What do I do when a dialogue box appears that I am not expecting and it might be in another language?

A:) Click on one of the boxes that appear to be the “no” box.

B:) Get out your smartphone. Look for a translation application and see what it is before clicking

C:) Pull up task manager, {ctrl alt del}, and kill the app completely (end task)

I realize I made that too easy but would you care to guess how many will just click the button to the right hoping it is the “go away” button?

Pop-ups are rarely a good thing. There are settings in most browsers that will eliminate such things, but still, some brilliant programmer somewhere figures out a workaround to get the pop up to appear anyway.

With all of this talk about cyber warfare and cyber espionage, having real anti-virus software is not only critical but also patriotic.

I was giving a talk, and one bright young man said that his free antivirus was all that he put on his companies PCs. Later that evening I learned that he worked for his parents! I sure hope that they have good insurance and a great backup, disaster recovery plan when their computers are trashed, or compromised or both. Free is not worth what you pay for it. PS… Never hire anyone you can not fire!

If you love your kids (and your sanity) make them find a job with another company.

Why is it patriotic?

Infections of all kinds make it through and sit there waiting for the right moment to activate. Once someone, somewhere, wants to pull off his or her attack, they only “turn it on.” Your computer along with millions of others attached to the internet becomes active participants. The attack could be something as common as a DOS (denial of service) attack, or it is watching every keystroke you make looking for passwords and identity info passing that info back to some nefarious server in someone’s closet.

I have no deals or allegiance to ESET, right now I think it is one of the best out there.

Anytime your application is acting “wonky” task manager is your friend. Pop-ups are rarely useful, especially if they make it through your no pop-up settings.

Bonus Question, Why is B not a right answer?

Think about it; some programmer wrote some interesting looking dialogue box to do something that popped up in the middle of searching for more information on March Madness “while you are working.”

You pull out your smartphone, the camera comes on, and soon you discover that some programmer tells you that you are a winner! Click here to claim your free IPad! You know that is a ruse because you have already won one and it never materialized. Begrudgingly, still upset about the last fraud, you click the no thank you button with hopes that it will now go away. What if the “No thank you” button activates some series of scripts? These scripts require your input to tell your antivirus software to ignore the threats. Yes, you understand all of the risks, and you want to do this anyway?

By the way, that little X up in the corner could also be a “yes please screw up my computer and infect it as our IT staff does not have enough to do.”

Task manager good, Task manager is your friend, become one with Task manager….

“What if the pop up is in English and it tells me I won and iPad.”

Task manager good, Task manager is your friend, become one with Task manager….

Now get back to work! 🙂

Are you as moral as you think you are?

This test only has one question, but it’s a very important one.

By giving an honest answer, you will discover where you stand morally.

The test features an unlikely, completely fictional situation in which you will have to make a decision.

Only you will know the results, so remember that your answer needs to be honest.

THE SITUATION:

You are in Florida, Miami to be specific.

There is chaos all around you caused by a hurricane with severe flooding.

This is a flood of biblical proportions.

You are a photojournalist working for a major newspaper, and you’re caught in the middle of this epic disaster.

The situation is nearly hopeless.

You’re trying to shoot career-making photos.

There are houses and people swirling around you, some disappearing under the water.

THE TEST:

Suddenly you see a woman in the water.

She is fighting for her life, trying not to be taken down with the debris.

You move closer.

Somehow the woman looks familiar.

You suddenly realize who it is.

It’s Hillary Clinton!

At the same time, you notice that the raging waters are about to take her under forever.

YOU HAVE TWO OPTIONS:

You can save the life of Hillary Clinton or you can shoot a dramatic Pulitzer Prize winning photo, documenting the death of one of the world’s most powerful Democrats hell bent on the destruction of America.

THE QUESTION:

Here’s the question, and please give an honest answer.

“Would you select high contrast color film, or would you go with the classic simplicity of black and white?”

Before you write me nasty messages that I will ignore, this is humor!

Psychiatrist vs. Bartender …

shrink11

Ever since I was a child, I’ve always had a fear of someone under my bed at night.

Monster-Under-Bed_Web_900
So I went to a shrink and told him:“I’ve got problems.

Every time I go to bed I think there’s somebody under it. I’m scared. I think I’m going crazy.”
“Just put yourself in my hands for one year, said the shrink. “Come talk to me three times a week and we should be able to get rid of those fears.”
“How much do you charge?”
“One hundred fifty dollars per visit,” replied the doctor.
“I’ll sleep on it,” I said.
Six months later the doctor met me on the street.

“Why didn’t you come to see me about those fears you were having?” He asked.

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“Well, $150 a visit, three times a week for a year, is $23,400.00. A bartender cured me for $10.00. I was so happy to have saved all that money that I went and bought a new pickup truck.”

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“Is that so?” With a bit of an attitude he said, “and how, may I ask, did a bartender cure you?”
“She told me to cut the legs off the bed. Nobody under there now.”

r32

It’s always better to get a second opinion!!!

mick-stevens-perhaps-you-d-like-a-second-opinion-new-yorker-cartoon

Now go take on the day!

The Ubiquitous #Query Letter @badlitagent

(The following is a satirical expression of frustration with the egocentric gatekeepers of the publishing world.)

I am not picking on you @badlitagent, I like your snark.

There are many out there who claim to “know the secret” of how to write the “perfect” query letter.

If you just follow, their simple steps, agents, and publishers alike will seek your manuscript!

“Who believes that?”

I am a writer, I write! When I am writing, I am lost in the story. The characters take on lives of their own and demand that I faithfully capture their personalities and character traits, as well as their actions. The story must be cohesive, that is where I live.

When you find yourself spending more time researching each agent, constructing a query letter, creating a synopsis per their idea of what that is, and first few pages in whatever format that desire, something is wrong.

The actual hell of it is, you are not, repeat not, trying to catch the agent’s attention. They are too wrapped up in their position of power, to bother to read your query letter, much less respond to them. No, they have interns that may be going to college or maybe in high school. Hell, they might have their twelve-year-olds reading them.

(Looking for interns)

“If you like to read certain books that we represent, we will hire you as an intern. You must be able to “read” several query letters, and write a report on each in one sentence or less.”

When researching the agent, this is typical.

“If we don’t respond in eight weeks, consider it a pass.”

How fucking lousy is that! You spend hours crafting the perfect Query letter, and the agent does not have time to respond with a simple form reply..!?

“I want some fucking feedback! Why? What about this letter, or this manuscript, turned you off on the project. What was missing? What one thing if it had would make you excited?”

Some will send you the form letter “Your story is not the kind of material we represent.” Please please please continue to bang your head against the wall though; we like to hear the banging, as it keeps us awake!
(It is what you represent, because I researched your damned site, and your bio, and who you have published thus far, so either you did not read it, or your intern cannot read!)

Here is what I think they mean to say. Allow me to translate this for you.

“If you have a proven track record of selling millions of books, we might consider looking at your manuscript. If you were on the New York Times bestseller list, let us know that too, so we can ask the intern to read more than the title of what you send. We only have time to spend on sure bets. If you are not a famous author, please, do not bother us! I know we say that we are looking for first time authors but we all say that, don’t we? Whatever you have written, it is trash unless we can sell at least a million copies of it, without investing any money or time on it what so ever. As the matter of fact; if you can sell a million copies on your own, just send us 30% and we might be persuaded to have the senior intern look at your next project.”

“If you still want to send us a query letter, use one syllable words so our interns who are either stoned or still in pre-K can understand them. Thanks for your understanding now, go fuck off! And, have a nice day!”

My advice…

You cannot be a one trick pony.

You must have more than one novel in you. Get published in as many places as you can. Whether that be newsletters, magazines, short stories and unfortunately self-publish something. Consider it a giveaway because there is little to no protection for intellectual property rights once you put it on the Internet. There are programs out there that can take Kindle or other types of e-books and turn them into PDF’s so they can be “shared.”

Many write short stories and give them away just to get their “brand” out there.

Truthfully we have no idea what the intern is looking for; it could be word count, Genre, style of writing or eloquent phrases or pixie dust. Since their website does not give us any information on where they went to school or what they like to read, it is a crap shoot!

The bottom line as I see it, you must “be someone” already, to get their attention.

Your thoughts are always interesting to me, feel free to elucidate on your experiences.

Maybe you have an agent that reads his or her own query letters? Tell us about that.

Remember that most of this is satire, with some frustration mixed in.

-Best

#RapidPrint #Widmer #Year #Wheels and #Budgets

As we get to this time of year, I think about many things including starting that Christmas shopping experience. Thinking ahead is key, so we are not surprised.

803803ss — Year Wheel for Rapdprint and Widmer products

Usually the second week of January I get many machines sent to me with year wheels that stopped in that year.

This is a good time to get your machine cleaned up, tuned up and checked out. Usually, a repair is less than a fourth the cost of a new one.

print head before cleaning with flash — Before cleaning

If by some chance that your machine is worn out, now would be a good time to replace it as budgets need to be submitted and this year’s money needs to be spent.

Things are slow right now, beat the rush and get in front of the pack. First in first out!

I sell and service these machine and have done so since 1995.

Rapidprint, Widmer and of course the ribbons.

As always I appreciate your business!

WWW.TimeDok.com

-Best