Tag: spanking

Don’t use the condiments

On a local social networking site, a person sounded off about some child drinking from the chocolate syrup bottle at the local BBQ joint. She corrected the child and told management what had happened. The girl behind the counter tossed the syrup. When the boy told his father, he glanced at the woman, waved, and left the establishment.

The thread went on with many weighing in.

Since my thoughts are more verbose than intended, I thought I would put this on my blog instead.

It starts with the parents. It might be more profound than that. Kids are being raised by video games and what used to be Hollywood.

The economy is such that usually, both parents must work. Your children are not raised by ‘Father knows Best, or Leave it to Beaver.’ If they are in a single-parent home, that lack of good behavior goes double. Where do they then learn what is socially acceptable?

I am a writer. Often my characters bump into today’s value system. It has been incumbent upon me to learn where these kids get their values. It was not an exhaustive search. After looking at some of the games they play, examining the amount of unsupervised time they have, and the educational system tolerating bad behavior, I had my answers.

Not long ago, I was in the food court close to some teenagers who were lamenting about their home lives. These were kids wearing designer clothing. They each had a smartphone, some had braces, and they went on about how crappy their parents were. I had to leave.

Speaking with children of different generations, I notice a variance in what they think is acceptable behavior. It is rather shocking.

Today’s 30-somethings that I speak with are clueless. At their age, they should be saving for retirement. Instead, they rent an apartment equivalent to the house they grew up in. They attempt to live as if they were still under their parent’s roof and eat out as if it were free. Many parents enable this behavior by supplementing their income. Their kids live paycheck to paycheck, usually running a deficit by the end of the month. Much like that college loan, they also have credit card debt. Why? They were never taught to manage money.

Instead of attempting to do it for themselves, they complain about how crappy life is and, yes, spend their free time on the computer playing video games. It is no small wonder they cannot afford their student loans.

The gaming industry is $188 Billion. Proponents of video games will argue against what I am telling you. Still, from Sandy Hook to many other mass shooting events, most of those shooters had one thing in common. Can you guess?

One of the officers investigating Sandy Hook told the press that the kid was ‘very proficient’ at killing that many people. It was almost as if he were trained in the military. Huh…

The Parkland Shooter was part of a unique program where his misdeeds (criminal) were kept secret from the School to avoid the school pipeline to prison. The argument for this program is that kids will grow out of it. One trip to the south side of Chicago will change the mind of most. The FBI knew about the shooter’s violent proclivities and were even warned before the shooting. They did nothing. I am still amazed that the activist David Hogg has yet to figure it out.

A teacher in California was beaten by a student because ‘she gave him a failing grade.’ The school system tried to convince the teacher (while she was still in hospital) not to press charges. If memory serves, he broke her jaw, among other things. It would ruin the boy’s life if you pressed charges. I wonder where that ‘child’ is now?

Playing video games releases endorphins which make the player feel good. The hormones and chemicals released are addicting. We humans can be addicted to almost anything, even pain. Does that fact shed some light on why some self-harm?

Those game players reading this will likely chime in, telling me I am wrong. Truth is, I am not mistaken. If you were to honestly log the amount of time you spend playing games, you might be surprised. How does it make you feel to win or take that hill? How do you feel when you lose? When confronted with the truth, how does that make you feel? How does that make you feel if you are a sniper and kill the ‘enemy? No, I am not wrong.

Can you guess why Syrup Boy was drinking the syrup? Sure, it tasted good, but what else? Yes, chocolate is addicting, as is anything that makes you ‘feel’ good. That little feature of most animals is for the survival of the species. I don’t need to spell that out for most of you.

Those proponents of video games immediately tried to spin things differently, but…If you live in a world full of violence, day in and day out, guess what happens to your psychic? Where did this Sandy Hook killer learn to be so proficient? He blew one of the teacher’s heads off and was heard laughing about it after the fact. One wonders why. Was it what he expected?

Were you aware that you could get PTSD from video games? Now we have VR (virtual reality), which will most certainly make the game more real or immersive. Are we even looking into cause and effect? No, it’s the guns doing it.

It is almost as if we should have a consumer protection agency or something looking into cause and effect. What happens if?

There is a real danger among us; syrup boy is just one minor symptom that we are doing something wrong. The prison population is a vast indicator we are doing something very wrong. PFFT

Cause and effect, garbage in, garbage out. Why has nobody put this together? Is it that unpopular? Can we not handle the truth? Are we not paying anyone to look into such things?

Hush, Hush, Sweet Charlotte, it will all be ok.

I mention the $188 Billion gaming industry because they hire PR firms to spin events like some mass shooting in another direction, away from the obvious. IT’S THE GUNS!!!

Guns are an easy emotional target or trigger word. That is why gaming lobbyists push the gun narrative. They know what it is, but $188 billion pays for PR firms and lobbyists and buys congressmen. It also makes the 2cnd amendment and the NRA the enemies of the people. If they can tie it to a political party, that is just a bonus.

Mental illness is rife. Covid, the lockdowns, and much more play into what is happening. With the lockdowns, the youth have more time to immerse themselves in these games. During the lockdown, the youth were not as socially active as they might have been. Games are an alternate reality. One wonders where reality and games collide. Add drugs into the mix, and that line will get super blurry.

Uvalde; his grandfather was a drug dealer, his mother a junkie, and you know grandma was not innocent or clueless about where the money came from. Pot today has a THC content of up to 95%. In the ’70s, the THC content was about 5%. The effects on the brain are mind-numbing and can cause uncontrollable rage. A toxicology report is still pending on the Uvalde shooter.

Riddle me this, why did the City of Carrollton, Texas, spend tax dollars on creating an E-sports (gaming facility for kids to play video games?) Wouldn’t it be better for kids to play these around their parents? Is this a taxpayer-funded babysitter or surrogate guardian who would also drink from the syrup bottle? Is it for kids who can’t afford a gaming computer?

In truth, I am uncertain what this facility is. On the surface, it sounds like a taxpayer-funded Dave and Busters, only for video games, period. Shouldn’t we try to get kids away from the keyboard and outside playing sports?

I am glad that the kid that shot up the July 4^th celebration was such a coward that he gave up without committing suicide by cop. We need to learn what motivated him and everything else we can. He, like others, will end up being a statistic, but nevertheless, information is valuable.

Where did he learn to be a sniper? He must have known about ballistics to shoot that distance and hit the target. Where did he learn?

Many people claim that School is a pipeline to prison. They blame it on things that are far from the facts. To quote Jack Nicholson, ‘They can’t handle the truth.’ In School, you learn the basics to get by in life and are introduced to social mores.

When I went to School, if your shirt was not tucked in correctly and you were caught, you earned a swat. For the rest of that day, every time you sat, there was this stinging reminder to make sure your shirt was properly tucked in.

Some parents argue against such things. They doth protest. Their argument is that you are teaching kids to hit; I disagree. You are teaching them that we have rules. While you are here, you will follow them. Trust me, parents, kids know how to hit already.

If you have flown, there are more rules than I care to count. Do not joke with the TSA.

In society, there are rules. You and I have those same rules. We get hit in the pocketbook if we speed or drive erratically. If you have one of your tires over the line in a handicapped parking area, the fine is over $600. I am talking about accidentally crossing that little white line with one tire.

One lady had just picked her kid up from school. She was on her phone while speeding through the school zone. The motorcycle cop had his lights on. He tried to get her attention for over a mile before he was forced to go up to her window at a red light and tap on it. I hope her child watched that interaction.

She was terribly distracted by the conversation on the phone. Speeding through a school zone is a hefty ticket. On your phone, while driving in a school zone is yet another. Not seeing the cop for at least a mile…Those mistakes will be quite the spanking.

My point is that there are rules; when do we start teaching them to our kids? There are social mores that are also incumbent upon us to teach. We don’t drink from the bottle. We cannot be our children’s friends. We must be parents first; that is our job. We are not talking about child abuse or beating anyone; we are talking about course corrections. We are talking about parenting. Know what your child is doing. We parents are held accountable for their actions until they reach adulthood. Our job is to raise them so that the criminal justice system does not have to.

Some scream about prison overpopulation. We, the parents, are in part the cause of this. The lack of morality and, yes, the violence are symptoms of not being engaged with your progeny.

Dysfunctional families are endemic to the problem, and that is what congress should be addressing. Breaking the cycle of single-parent homes requires education.

Drugs and the promise of easy money probably eclipse poor parenting, as even the best of parents end up burying a child due to an overdose. Some lose them to gang violence. That, of course, is systemic of drugs and the drug culture.

It starts at home. You are the person they will model until such a time they attempt to emulate some actor or actress. If you teach them correctly and raise them right, you will not need to worry about what the schools are doing to indoctrinate them into this woke world of weirdness. You might also keep them from hanging with the wrong crowd.

Anyone who teaches your kids to hate their country must be in a different vocation. Any person who grooms your young child must be behind bars for pedophilia. The messages children get today are mind-bending. Homeschooling is almost a must.

Your options are clear. Either be of good moral character and lead by example or teach them how to look innocent in a lineup.

-Best

A good Spanking!

“If you don’t behave I am going to give you a “good spanking”!”

Is there such a thing as a good spanking?

“Experts” are all over the map on this one so, allow me to pontificate on the subject for a moment.

First and foremost there must be consequences to ones actions.

As adults when we break a law the consequences usually come very close to the bottom; as in the back pocket where we carry our wallet. If we break major laws we end up paying out the nose and maybe end up incarcerated or even on death row!

Teaching children at an early age that there are consequences to their actions are the best way to keep them out of jail, and of course off of death Row!

Recently a teacher had several students hold some child down while she spanked them.

This type of actions bespeaks of gang or mob mentality, the likes that we are seeing in Ferguson.

Involving other children in the actions of reprimanding a child in such a fashion is close to criminal and at the very least that teacher should be fired for showing such poor judgment!

Swats or CP in schools should not be carried out by the teacher but, rather a disinterested third party whose job it is to carry out such actions.

The argument could be made that when it comes to swats they are one step away from needing a more serious form of “guidance.” A case could be made that some part of the system for be created to deal with Juveniles who have yet to break any serious law but are headed that way. Very possibly these wayward kids are introduced to the system where any form of “course correction” that a judge might see fit to order be employed.

The goal is to save the kids from incarceration or avert them from going down the wrong path. Some intermediary form of “the system” could be created to give these kids the attention that they need whether it be in parenting, guidance or just a good old fashioned spanking!. We need smart people dealing with this now, vs guards keeping them in line later.

There is no harm in getting creative with the punishment either.

For instance, some schools give swats for chewing gum in class. Not that anyone cares what you eat but gum chewers in a quite environment can be distracting so we prohibit gum chewing in class!

Should such an offence get swats?

To my way of thinking; I would have the child stay behind in detention with some sort of tool to remove all of the gum found under the desk where these same inconsiderate few, place it after they are finished with it.

Spanking for such an offence might happen after two or three attempts to break the habit in less drastic measures.

The “bottom line,” spanking within reason in a calm rational environment along with a note sent home for the parent to sign should be available to the teachers. School is a place to learn and all should have that equal opportunity to learn and not be interfered with by those that are there “because they have to be.”

I stress here calm and rational environment because we are not interested in beating anyone. While CP should not be the first line of punishment. it should certainly not be done away with.

Since the family unit is in disarray, the school must often pick up the mantle of responsibility for teaching Reading Writing Arithmetic and Reverence for the laws of this country as well as Respect for the Rights of others.

If we had more of this,

we would most certainly have less of this!

Now, which is worse?

In retrospect if we created some form of intermediary adjunct to the local police force to deal with “kids on the way to being problem kids” the money spent might very well save money from incarcerating them later as well as getting them to be productive citizens rather than something else. When a few swats don’t turn them around, you need something a little stronger that makes more of an impression.

This is not a one size fits all however; as the kids in the inner city would need a program different from the ones in the burbs.

-Best

#Pornography, #Sex and #You

Pornography, Sex and You

What does it say about “us” as a people who gaze upon, look at, or otherwise idolize pornography?
What exactly is pornography?
Kiddy porn?
Words

Tackling the first question first, it makes us human. We must first understand that we are what we are and, that is race of beings that are programmed to procreate. From pre-biblical times to today we are no better than rabbits; sex is first and foremost on our minds. The difference between us and rabbits, we attach mores to sex and we have the tools to keep from actually procreating. Whether it is prophylactics of different kinds, or even abortion after the fact, a large percentage of us are fulfilling our “instincts” without actually making babies.

Another part of our race is just “doing what comes naturally,” and then evading the responsibility of what comes afterwards by, leaving the person who “got pregnant;” or by letting the state pick up the tab for medical expenses, and the subsequent care and feeding of same, after the fact.

We try and educate our progeny at the tender age of pre-pubescence, only to surrender to the fact that they will find a way, so we offer them free prophylactics. We alter the law in such a way that a minor can get an abortion or birth control without the parents consent. In fact, we respond to an amoral situation with an equally amoral response, by offering abortions and dehumanizing the baby by calling it something other than what it is, a baby.

We do the same in death as well, once you die you are no longer Sally or Joe, you are a body. The body was found at…. The remains were located at….

Reading social media the idea struck me that we think of anything that titillates as porn. We have “Food Porn, Library Porn, and in fact anything that is over the top, we could add the word or suffix “porn” to it. I think it safe to say that we could call anything that overly gets our juices going “porn.”

There is a huge dichotomy that exists today between the evangelicals and other religious sects, “that are above this type of thing” and “people.” In fact, if you are ever hauled to court for having something deemed illegal by your peers, whether it be porn or pot, you may very well be judged by some of the largest hypocrites on the planet.

Outwardly, they will condemn you, point their fingers at you and judge you to be subhuman. Then they will return to their home with their collection of things or pot or other drug of choice that if the world knew about, would judge them as “unclean.” Jesus said if you hate your brother; you have committed murder. If you have ever been titillated by such a thought, or picture, you are no better than the guy or gal that got caught!

Child pornography is probably one of the most insidious types of pornography out there. The very thought of it makes me physically ill. As a thinking person, I was curious why and or how it had that effect on me.

As a parent, we guard our offspring and indeed see all offspring in a way that makes our parental instinct come in to play. Then there are the predators out there that don’t see the boundary issues involved, and indeed see children as a sexual target. There are indeed sociopaths that don’t have any empathy for others and “do what feels good, when it feels good.”

History is rife with these types of people. Read about the rape of Nanking.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nanking_Massacre

Most “decent” people understand this and I think each case that comes to court needs to be handled in such a way as to understand the person who committed the crime. Did the person download the stuff off of the internet, or did he or she take part in the creation of and dissemination of the material. Were there pecuniary motives involved? Just how amoral is this person? Are they mentally unbalanced? Can they be rehabilitated?

Having worked on thousands of computers in my career, I have seen my fair share of pornography. I am not prudish but, I have no problem deleting that which might be illegal to own. Had there been evidence to my satisfaction that this person was involved in the creation of such, a different call would have been made.

There are in fact huge stores of such material on the internet, gigabytes of downloadable data. With the extreme bandwidth we have today there is simply no way that one person could evaluate each and every photo to make certain that it is “legal.” One such person downloaded such things like one might collect baseball cards. As it was loaded with viruses, deleting it saved me and them the time to sift through it. I am not the world’s policeman and have no interest in saving you from yourself. Writing about it, making you aware is as far as I go.

There is a huge difference between porn and nudity and that dichotomy exists in all age groups. Artist through history have danced on that line, and it is no different today.

One artist friend painted a child in a pond and the child’s bare bum was slightly exposed to the viewer. The creation of the child was from her mind, not from an actual person. As a “humanist,” I stood close enough to that painting in the gallery to eaves drop on what people were saying. A large percentage saw what I saw, an innocent child playing in the water; a few saw child pornography.

We have come to be so overly sensitized, that we think that is child pornography!

The painting depicted an innocence of spirit. A time and place free of sin to be as God created us in a perfect environment. That is what it felt like to me and I very much liked the painting. It reminded me of the Coppertone commercial of the 60’s where the dog is pulling down the bathing suite of a small child exposing the tan difference. To me it “exposes” innocence, a time that most of us wish we could go back to. To a few it is pornographic. To the few who think that is pornographic, I would encourage self examination.

So, in that light allow me to elucidate on what pornography is. As an artist myself, and a writer, I have given this much thought.

If I paint someone in a sexual act, that is pornography. If I give the illusion of some sexual activity either pre or post sex, it could pornography or it could be art. Now let me draw your attention to the fact that “pre” is not a nude in the bath tub or shower, unless of course there was a guy in close proximity with an erection. One could even make the argument that could be art.

As an artist, we try to paint a picture that will evoke some emotion. That is why I constantly implore my readers to examine, why they (like or hate) something, rather than simply experience the emotion and go on. When you understand “why,” you will come to know the person in the mirror much better; and that is enlightenment.

A good photo journalist will take pictures that tell a story. I was at a cemetery on Memorial Day. Off in the distance there was an attractive young lady sitting on the ground with some picnic stuff, at the foot of a grave. There she was, all by herself, sitting as close as she could to her dead loved one. I snapped the picture from an extreme distance and for a moment, felt her emotions as the waves of loss and grief washed over my soul. Tears filled my eyes as I allowed my self to experience her loss as it brought back memories of my loved ones that are no longer here. Even at that distance, I could see her cheeks were wet with tears.

While I fully intend on painting that one day as I would like others to appreciate what I saw; that is what makes art, art. That also makes a “good” picture.

If I paint a nude lady walking into a body of water by herself, I have created art that depicts innocence, a purity of person and heart. You can see yourself, walking into that water, feeling the warm sun on your upper torso and the cool water swirling around your legs as the water makes its way ever higher as you traverse further into the water. You can just about envision the warm wet sand between your toes as you yourself walk deeper and deeper into the warm blue water. There on the bank, under a morning sun is your blanket, clothing and towels, along with some drink and food for after your swim. There is no one around but you, some birds, and the sound of the water as it bathes the shores in the light summer breeze. After your swim, you can lay on the blanket basking in the warmth of the sun as the breeze dries you.

If you were looking at that painting you would see art. You might picture yourself there for just a moment, or longer…. before the reality that you are in a cold sterile museum, snaps you back to reality.

Now, let’s add one thing to that painting. Let’s add to the blanket a partially exposed dildo. By the inclusion of a sexual toy, I have created pornography, both in painting and guess what… with words.

Pornography is not subjugated to the visual media alone. I am often amused by women who look down upon men who look at pornography. They call them pigs and all sorts of demeaning names and then go back to their romance novel! Folks, I can paint with words as easily as I can with oils. Pornography is pornography, whether you gaze upon it, or you read about it while creating the images in your mind, it is still pornography.

50 shades of grey is pornographic, titillating and could be used as a springboard to conversations with your partner about sex. You can also use it to sit on your soapbox and much like the ladies of the twenties railed against alcohol, you can rail against porn. Don Quixote had windmills and you, maybe blowup love dolls!

My point to this is not to chastise, my point it to make you aware of the hypocrisy and to learn that we are all the same and well some of us “pretend” that we are better then the rest, even you judges out there, you are kidding yourself.

There are two kinds of people, those who masturbate, and those who lie about it.

A perfect wife was once described as someone who is a whore in the bedroom, and an angle in the kitchen! That really speaks to our “human nature” doesn’t it? Sometimes one thinks about their wife in those regards and then as a parent. The truth is, that all of those parts are juxtaposed together to make us. The mouth you kiss in your bed is the same mouth that kisses your baby goodnight!

When we are in the world, doing our thing, our “angel” side is showing, most of the time. What happens to those who suppress their “other side?”

We read about it all too often where some young boy was assaulted by a bishop, or some other “person of the cloth.” We read about teachers who have sex with underage children. We read about rapist and other sexual predators. We even hear about peeping toms. What about the employee that goes postal?

I am actually for legalizing prostitution. People who don’t have someone should be able to buy someone, or rent them for a while and it is the oldest profession. Like the Bunny Ranch, I am for that kind of place in all major cities.

The key is to first “know yourself.” This blog is all about enlightenment. Enlightenment is knowing “who you are!” You can hardly understand your neighbor or wife or husband, if you don’t know who you are!

How many men do you know of that have left their wife of a number of years, for another guy?! How the hell did that happen?

When we repress parts of ourselves, other parts come out in different ways. I am not speaking about mental illness here, I am speaking about the actions of normal healthy people who artificially suppress their emotions or feelings or strong convictions to appear as something that they are not. I see this most in folks who are Church going, every Sunday, every Wednesday night, people who are holier that thou! They are taught to hate the sin, not the sinner.

Without clearly understanding “sin” they develop their own idea of what sin is, and then mentally flagellate them-selves. I have often wondered what affect this has on their mental status. Those who practice Calvinism often deal with Depression. How shocking is that? Here is a guy from the 16th century who basically think we are all dirt bags and that is the best we can ever be. We do it to ourselves and then spend tens of thousands of dollars on therapy and drugs to make it another day.

Then one day we read about them or get a letter in the post, telling us that they are no longer with the church as they left their family etc etc…

Do you know the difference between reality and fantasy? Most do, but sadly some try to make it come to fruition. Solomon comes to mind. This is a man that the bible tells us had everything. He had hundreds of wives and hundreds of concubines. He had riches beyond our wildest dreams and yet, he was unhappy. He tried to live his fantasy.

Divorce in this group of people is just as high as people who never set foot in church. Allow me to tell you why I think it is a good idea to attend church. I do not think that anything magical happens when you go to church. I do not think that drinking grape juice and eating crackers makes you any better than your brother.

I do think that thinking about “sin” makes you more self-aware of your “sins if you will” and thus makes you more aware of who you are. It is only after you know “who you are” can you make any sort of substantive change.

None of us are perfect and being around others who struggle with “sin” is actually one way to become more self-aware.

Here is the $64 question, when is pornography sin, or is it at all?

One should define sin to really have a clear understanding of what it is. Sin comes from an ancient sport dating back at least 5000 years. The ancient Egyptians developed Archery and sin was “missing the mark.” In Abrahamic terms, it is violating Gods will.

Call it what you will, there is a moral code of conduct that each civilization adopts from its laws and mores. Utilizing a Venn-diagram, where do you fit in?

While this is not about mental illness, I am convinced that it could lead to it. Without a check every now and then to make sure you are still in the middle of the road, “normal” your thoughts and feelings and actions could actually be outside of the Venn-diagram of what is considered “normal.”

The curmudgeon comes to mind, or possibly the “crazy cat lady.” Those that live by themselves, who only have to consider “themselves,” can quickly drift outside of what we in polite society would call “normal.” We hear about it all too often where someone was found dead in their home filled with too much stuff. They replaced “stuff,” for interaction with people. The more they did it, the more they became a recluse taking solace in collecting anything from newspapers to cats!

More attention needs to be paid to mental health in society. These folks who mass murder should have been treated before it came to this. Who knew? You should have known; if you knew them at all you should have known! We poke and chat away on social media but when is the last time you sipped tea on the front porch with your neighbor?

How many times a year do you hear about a murder suicide and the interviews of the neighbors describe the perp as a nice “stay to him or herself” kind of person?

If we spent less time on the computer, or in front of the TV, we might have spoken with that person and have known that they lost their job, their wife or husband was having an affair etc etc. Are we not supposed to love our neighbor? How can you do that if you don’t ever see them?

Again, an extended family through your local church is not a bad thing. I don’t think a mega church is a good place for this. The Mega church to me seems too much about money. Smaller 100 family type churches are more intement. You can actually form bonds within the church that can last a lifetime.

There is this lady that lives in the Tundra of Alaska, by herself most of the time. She has been on some TV shows here and there. I would love to speak with her at length about how she got there, what she does and who she is. From her appearances on these shows, she still seems sane, but at what moment will she go “Jack Nicholson?” We are social creatures, designed to be around other people.

Some people replace normal sexual relations with pornography. Why, it is safe. There was a running joke when I was young about a cucumber; that it would still respect you in the morning. George Carlin had a routine about “dinner and flowers for one; don’t ever let your other hand know….” George was a genius, and probably not very well appreciated. Pornography can, and in most cases will ruin a marriage. As we age, we no longer look like the folks in the pictures. As we progress in life, we loose that romance and become “used to one another,” allowing our “all” to be exposed.

Not only do we not look like anyone in those pictures that litter cyber space but, we don’t act like the guy on the white horse! We become too obsessed with self, to put our partners needs ahead of our own. We are wrapped up with work or kids or “life” to take time out to live life.

We let our all hang out and by that I mean fart, belch, leave the bathroom door open when going to the bathroom etc etc. Some things should not be “let out.” To me anyway I feel like keeping a certain modicum of “dating etiquette,” even after many years of marriage is one small part of success. Chivalry should not now or ever be dead. If your wife wants to open her own door, get her to open yours. Someone needs to show some chivalry.

Pornography, like romance novels, “in my opinion,” becomes sin when they cause you to stray from your partner. It is too easy for us to become slaves to such things, to idolize such things.

“That which you gaze upon you become.”

There is a genuine danger by putting it out there with another person. Perhaps your idea of sex is not what some would consider normal. I don’t know what that might be but let’s draw on a reference from an episode of House; as an example. House, in case you are not familiar, was a program on TV that featured Hugh Laurie as a brilliant although weird and wonderful doctor.

In the episode I am speaking of, the opening scene is of a rather brutal sexual encounter that looks as though it could be a rape in progress until we later learn that they were roll playing and were turned on by rough sexual play. She was also killing him with some sort of chemical as I remember but, that is a different part of the story that takes us away from the point at hand.

Now for argument sake, let’s say that you think that role playing might be a huge turn-on, and you talk with your partner about it and he or she rejects you, and now thinks you are completely insane!

Ok, forget role playing, how about a scene from 50 shades?

Communication with your spouse or loved one is “key” to a happy marriage. Build upon what drew you to them in the first place. Don’t go for the big changes all at once, start small and build upon it. If the other person is getting something out of it, you can lead the way. Have a goal and make small adjustments to meet that goal.

Dating web sites are well past my experience level at this stage of the game but, I suspect that this might be a “value add” if they address such things as sexual turn-on’s.

Fantasy is what sells romance novels, and why pornography is so prolific! Fantasy is a large part of who we are as a people and if you don’t embrace it and deal with it, well you may need some therapy later in life to deal with your large collection of bottle caps, race cars, baseball cards or newspapers! You are in fact replacing something that you are missing with things that are safe! Well most of these are fairly innocuous, some however; replace what they are missing with actions like rape, bestiality, necrophilia and yes homicide.

Some take it to other extremes in the form of religions or other cult like activities or become totally off the track with things like the WACO cult, or the purple Kool-Aid folks.

We are sexual creatures and that part of us makes us whole. When you remove it, or attempt to remove it by becoming celibate for religious reasons or societal reasons behaviors and other actions also change. Case in point… If you have ever worked in an office full of women you no doubt have heard one frustrated employee speaking to another about a co-worker or boss using the phrase, “she just needs to get laid!”

They are most likely spot on! It happens with all of us and without sex we don’t deal with life stresses very well, and our social behavior becomes modified. It can take the form of aggression or… it can take the form of being overly flirtatious.

There are chemicals released right after sex called Prolactin. This hormone disengages a man’s sex drive almost immediately after orgasm. The naked women with you after sex is simply your mate or spouse or what have you as this chemical tells the rest of the brain and body to think about other things, sex is off the table for a while.

Endorphins are also released that calm you down, give you a feeling of euphoria and can make you sleepy. That is why right after sex, most men crash and burn.

There is another hormone known as the cuddling hormone. Oxytocin which makes you that big teddy bear that will do what it takes to get her into the sac. This hormone is also responsible for stimulating the prostate gland and making things more sensitive.

These same chemicals are released in the female thus relieving the “sexual tension” that many, if not most of us experience from time to time.

Aggressive workouts also release some of these same chemicals and that is a key component to health and longevity. That is also why certain people take exercising to an extreme. This is a good reason that people in middle school should really double up on exercise. They are being flooded with new hormones as puberty kicks in and they often manifest themselves in aggression among other behaviors. You don’t need a $150 an hour shrink for your middle school child if he or she is acting out. Get them into tennis or running or kickboxing, or cheer leading and make sure that they have what they need, time and privacy to take matters into hand. Dealing with hormones is a daily chore for most of us. As kids begin to deal with them, know what is happening and give them space. If that does not work, get the child whisperer on your team. (a shrink)

For those that rail against pornography as it demeans women and makes them somehow less than human, objectifies them etc, I would point out that these women who posed for those photographs, for the most part, knew what they were doing.

I was on the Internet before it was the internet. Porn was one of the first things that people put on it, just like porn was one of the first pictures ever taken with a camera and a movie camera. We are obsessed with it and we as a people should stop burying it under a rug and deal with it! Does porn fit into polite society, no; but show me a polite society.

Early painters painted cherubs, which were nude children depicted as angels and there have been many many artist using nude children in paintings and pictures in a non-sexual way. Like most things “context is king.”

If someone draws or paints children in sexual situations, do we call it child-porn and does it fall under the same laws as actual pictures of the same? Yes and No, but it is non-the-less in many cultures acceptable to some group of people. I would proffer that those groups are one step away from allowing actual children to be harmed in order, to fulfill their fantasy.

There is a Japanese maker of technical equipment that I use in my lab from a company called Tenma. If you Google Tenma, you will come up with the test equipment of which I speak. You will also come up with some fictional character from MANGA that is of a 16 year old girl that is often posed in erotically suggestive ways. On eBay these statues of her dressed as a school girl and anatomically correct go for $100 plus. Who buys them is anybody’s guess. Why they are created is another story all together and the answer would be, supply and demand.

I would also point out that those that shave their pubic areas are probably two steps away from this “child attraction”, as they either like the child like appearance of the shaven genitalia, or; they ah… don’t like hair in their, ah …teeth…… Too racy?? All I am saying is be aware… This is the slippery slope that we all must look at when we “like or don’t like” something. You can “man-scape” or “woman-scape..” all you like but, I would challenge you to “know why” you are doing it. “To thyn own self be true.”

Sex sells and the line of demarcation between art and porn is always moving. I was looking at some 60’s hobby magazines the other day and could not help but notice the young lady in the bikini on the cover used to sell the magazine to model airplane enthusiast, of the 60’s….

Recently “like this December 2014” Playdough sent out in their toy an extruder that is so phallic in nature that someone had to be blind to not see it. Let’s think about this.

It had to be designed and passed by some marketing folks.
It had to be sent off to someone to make it
Again it had to be gone over in marketing to design the box cover and associated marketing stuff.
Someone had to see this in a board room somewhere before it was created and sent to how many stores in the world.
How this made it to the customer is beyond me.

The bottom line, and this may surprise you, I think that porn has its place in society.

Like romance novels, porn, skin flicks and the like bring new ideas into your dusty bedroom. They may start a conversation between you and your spouse or mate or whatever that might surprise the both of you. Maybe a little spanking or role playing is what you need to get you active again in looking forward to coming home.

These shows on Cinemax are usually lame but if it gets the oxytocin going, what harm is it? Don’t let your bedroom life become stale as sex is really one of the perks of living.

-Best

Attention #CEO, is your #network #Secure? #Sony thought so!

I received an email from someone asking me about the internet outage in North Korea.

Firstly, if we, (America) had anything to do with it, I think it analogous to punishing a pugnacious brat, by taking away their computer. This kid really needs a good spanking! For you who think that corporal punishment belongs in the dark ages, well you’re wrong, unless of course you consider North Korea is still in the Dark Ages!

This country, as stated in another blog; keeps its people in the dark. Looking at a picture from space one can tell that electricity is not even well distributed much less the internet or the free exchange of information and thoughts.

Contained inside the Red Outline is North Korea.

If you want to control a people, take away weapons, power, their ability to communicate with others, and feed them a constant feed of Bullshit daily! Prevarication is called for if you want a submissive people who will do what you say without question.

The people of this country are brainwashed into “loving their dear leader” and believe anything that they are told. Any type of truculence on their part is met with swift, brutal retaliation.

If the evidence indeed points to North Korea in the attack of Sony, (the only people with motive,) Most assuredly, there was someone on the inside at Sony. Sony should be looking real hard with forensic experts to determine what happened!

As a security geek, I would love to be part of that team!

The sad truth today is that there could be a spook! Money talks, with our lack of morality on the rise, it could be anyone.

Most firewalls today are pretty good at keeping bad people out so, planting a spook or a Trojan or worm of some kind on the inside of the firewall, enabling communication from the outside through some spoofed port that is normally open like 80, would have to be employed.

Many of the remote control desktop software out there today which some people use, violate all security protocols. The problem is that a lot of companies don’t hire a security officer or have a limited IT staff who are too busy resetting passwords and posting on Facebook to be bothered with doing nothing more than putting out fires.

If you look at the OSI model (which I dare say few are familiar with, consist of 7 layers. The OSI model (open system interconnection model) is a packet-based structure of layers, or protocol stack.

Starting at layer one, we have the physical layer which is basically your cable and associated hardware which allows your computer to communicate with the host. This layer is responsible for the “frame bit.”
Layer two is the layer that established the protocol used to communicate whether it is frame relay or Ethernet or what have you. This layer is called the data link layer.
Layer three is known as the network layer and is responsible for transmitting data from node to node. This layer provides switching and routing information.
Layer four or transport layer is responsible for such things as error recovery and end to end flow control.
Layer five or session layer sets up, coordinates, and terminates conversations, exchanges, and dialogues between the applications.
Layer six or presentation layer works to transform data into the form that the application layer can accept.
Layer seven or application layer is just that Everything at this layer is application-specific. This layer provides application services for file transfers, e-mail, browser, Google, and other network software services, and yes, Facebook. This is the layer that the end user has the most to do with in that applications exist solely at this level.

Now that you have a small idea of how one communicates over the internet, looking at this model, how would you interrupt traffic between them and us?

Keep in mind that North Korea gets internet from China and most probably through a Russian satellite. Neither of these do we have control over, so pulling the plug leaves out the physical layer.

Again, I could not use layer two; as again I don’t have control over that either.

Ah, now layer three I do have control over. What if I change their known ip addresses to non internet routable or private, much like the 192,172 or 10 subnets? Now they have to go to Russia or China and beg for another subnet and… as soon as they do, we kill that as well.

Why do we have private addresses you ask? Most reading this far probably already know this however, there are simply not enough addresses to give every company that wants one, a block of private addresses.

If you look at RFC 1918 a private addresses scheme was created that are not assigned meaning, that they cannot route through the internet. In this way business’s and homes and even North Korea can use them to their hearts content, on their private networks and then using something called NAT or network address translation can make your home computer look as though it is talking on a public address.

This BLOG’s intent is to underscore the need to have a good CIO and a good security officer. Your company could be the next Sony and as you can see, if some rogue country like North Korea who has a very limited pool of talent can take down a giant like Sony, just think what a Russia or China or other country who does not stagnate its citizens, and keep them in the stone age could do.

-Best to you and those that you care about and if I don’t get to write again by Christmas…Have a Merry Christmas!